Elimination communication

[Barkingdoghell]

Has anyone successfully done this? How young did you start? I saw some suggestions that you need to start before 4 months?
I’ve been googling and reading up on it but it sounds suspiciously simple and I can’t help but think I’m missing something
could you talk me through what you did, do I literally just pop the baby on a potty and hope for the best?

Hi! I’ve done this with both my children. I started when they could sit up on the potty by themselves, around 6 months, but my SIL started from birth (doesn’t seem to have made a difference as far as I can tell).

I just put them on the potty when changing their nappy and makes a “wisss” noise for a wee and once they have done that then a raspberry noise for a poo. I also use the sign for each. Lots of praise and clapping when stuff happens, they catch on very quickly.

I’m not sure it helps massively with wees but with my son I never had to change a pooey nappy after 9 months as he did them all in the potty (except if he was sick). My daughter is 8 months and pretty good at telling me when she needs to do a poo too, maybe once a week I miss the little grunting noise she makes/ am too busy dealing with a toddler drama to get her to the potty quickly enough.

Potty trained my son completely at 21 months. So it worked very well for him hoping it works as well for my daughter too.

I don't think it makes much difference, tbh. I didn't do EC and DD1 (SN) was toilet trained at 23 months. I literally said 'big girls wear pants' and that was that.

Thanks I’m not worrying about successfully potty training earlier really, but LO suffers terribly with nappy rash and I’m thinking if I can reduce the amount of wet/dirty nappies or time spent in them then that might help.

@Magiccarpetforsale thank you that’s really helpful. Did SIL have to do anything different or have any different struggles that you’re aware of? DD is 3m. I’m debating whether to try now or wait a bit longer.
How quickly did you see dc start to respond?
DD mostly does no.2 when feeding and I’ve no idea when no.1 happens so I’m not sure when exactly to pop her on the potty

You can start by putting them on the potty in the mornings, when they wake from a nap/after they've eaten/had a bottle etc. Then you try to look for 'cues' that they're having a wee or a poo, or look for patterns of when they usually go. I don't particularly like Katherine Ryan but she has spoken about EC on the 'parenting hell' podcast.

I think SIL has had a very similar experience and her little one, who is now 21 months is basically potty trained and has done it very gradually all by himself pretty much. She offered lots of opportunities to use the potty when her son was little as they poo so much more! Probably, at waking, after a feed and before a nap?

At 8 months, having started solids, my daughter only poos once a day, normally after a nap so easy to catch. Still got no idea on wees! She will do one on the potty if she needs to do one at that moment, but gives no signs. Again, she often needs to wee on waking from a nap so that is a good time to try!

Pooing during the feed is a pain, but once your DD starts to associate the potty with pooing hopefully she will give some signs/ hang on until after the feed. Maybe try offering the potty before the feed? And then if she starts making pooing noises during the feed quickly move her to the potty? And offer again after the feed if the poo hasn’t arrived yet?

Mine caught on very quickly, my son within 2 attempts on the potty, my daughter needed 5. But they were 6 months so I would expect it to take a bit longer at 3 months.

I’d try now, especially given the nappy rash. If it doesn’t work try again in a few weeks? They change so fast at this age that even a few weeks might change things. And once you start putting them on the potty it just becomes part of your routine so barely takes any extra time.

How bad in the nappy rash? What have you tried? I’m sure everyone has suggested this but could your DD have CMPA? That can often cause awful nappy rash. Also, one brand of nappies gave my son dreadful rash and my daughter’s skin hates wet wipes, only cotton wool will do!

Just a warning...my parents used EC with me and I went on to have 10 years of bladder related problems (bladder dysfunction, overactivity recurrent UTIs, operations needed) and the surgeon felt this was related to being potty training too young and "holding". So just be careful. I was the only one of 6 children that they used EC with and the only one to have bladder and bowel issues. I was fully trained at 9 months.

The nappy rash is pretty bad, I have considered cmpa but I’m finding she’s got a rash even just from the nappy itself where it’s in contact around her stomach, I think there’s something in them that isn’t great for her, or perhaps it’s just the lack of breathability. Have tried a few brands and we only use cotton wool, no wipes! I’m trialing cloth nappies atm but they’re a fortune, my washing basket is constantly overflowing as it is and she seems to go through them so fast and they start leaking. I’m sure I’m just not getting them right yet, but if I can have her not go in them as much she can just have a dry cloth nappy on for more of the day which I imagine will help!

Thank you @HeyPrestoAlakazam sorry to hear that was your experience. Most studies find that delayed training, like we typically do in the uk, increases the risks of utis and other bladder and bowel problems, and ec lowers it, obviously that’s just an average though

From the journals I've read on it, I believe by "delayed training" it's 36 months onwards that's widely meant, which I agree is too late. After 24 months there is actually a decline - there's definitely a "sweet spot". I just know the agony I was in for the first 10 years of my life (and the problems I still and will always have) and the schooling I missed as a result wouldn't be something I'd be willing to risk personally.

my 16 month old had horrible diaper rash and looking at the timings (last bottle, bed time and time i changed his diaper) i noticed it was nearly 12 hours. but the rash was significant and i started to half awake/take him to the potty when we went to bed at 10pm, half asleep still he would readily go. within 48 hours i equally noticed he was dry at the 6am check (when dh woke up for work but ds was still asleep). it didn't take us more than a day to figure out the "toilet training" aka my routine of putting him on the potty. he was dry into pants and using the toilet for bowel movements by 18 months.

OP I did it with my two, I waited until they could sit independently, but if I were to have another one (I won't), I would probably start from birth (or soon after).

My DD too used to poo during a feed, but by about 4 months she moved that to just after the feed. Why did I not think of sticking her on a pot then I still don't know.

As others said, you just go for most likely times - after they wake up, after drink/food, after you take them out of car seat/buggy. They will soon cotton on and will wee within seconds. As others, I realised by 9/10 months that I couldn't remember when I last changed a pooey nappy.

Re cloth nappies, there's a Facebook group called cloth nappies uk, or something along those lines, where people buy/sell preloved nappies. The beauty of cloth nappies is that you can then sell them for almost what you paid for them.

There is also EC Facebook group, but you can get some really overzealous judgy people over there too, so watch out.

Hi OP, don’t often have threads on EC here, so good to hear you are thinking about it.

I was first in my family to do it, (who thought we were bonkers) but we had lived in a country for a while where EC is the norm before having children and it made so much sense, that I had been keen to try it. DH also comes from a culture where it’s al lot more widely practiced.

I started from 6 weeks, but I wasn’t even religious and full time with it, and she still picked it up really quickly, and within a few days of trying we were getting catches. I held her over a tall EC infant potty at first and then from about 6-7 months when she could sit, moved onto a normal potty. From around 5/6 months I was catching most poos and wees in the potty, and nappy changes needed in the day reduced significantly along with nappy rash (in fact we’ve not had any nappy rash since she was a few months old, even with nasty teething) Around that age, I believe she started to “hold on” as well, although the onus with EC is always with the parents - if we have a miss - that’s my mistake not hers. We always keep it chill, with very low key praise and never any frustration or distress with accidents. she does not like to sit with a wet or dirty nappy now, and will cry as soon as she is wet until she is changed.

At 10 months we used a childminder during the week for 5 months, who was not accustomed to EC so she went back a few steps as through the day at childminders she was using her nappy, and though we did offer potty in the evenings and weekends, I think she had started to get used to going in her nappy a lot more. Although we had given childminder a potty, she clearly thought we were crazy, and also it was not reasonable for us to expect her to fit EC into her busy routine of caring for several children so we were fine with that.

She is 16 months now, and we are not using childminder anymore and we have gone back to EC fully in the home and nappies (cloth) when our and about. So far going well - I’m changing around 2 or 3 pooey nappies a week, but still the majority on the potty (she poos usually twice a day) and lots of wees on the potty each day, so I’m going to continue. When at home, she will signal clearly and can even say “wee wee” and “poo poo” now when sitting in the potty. I leave in in reach and she will toddle over on her own accord, and I will then help set her down. She also has a toilet-seat on the loo now which she is happy to sit on although doesn’t tend to do anything on it yet, she still prefers the potty. Of course, like all toddlers, she is sometimes distracted, or strong willed and doesn’t want to, and on those times I don’t force her, or scold her as I don’t want the potty to be a source of stress or anxiety. We still keep it chill, and when we are out and about or when she is sleeping, or when we have guests over and I’m likely to be distracted to watch for her cues, I still put a cloth nappy on her. She is bare-bummed in a dress or long top rest of the time. When she is 18mths I’m going to try her with some undies. DD is our first to EC, but other friends who have done EC before have all seem to have children independently use the potty or toilet before 2 years, and we don’t know of any of the older children go on to have bladder or bowel issues, although I’m not invalidating the previous posters experience.

As I said before, I’ve lived and worked previously in communities where EC is the norm, and bladder and bowel issues are not common, but of course everyone is different.

Things that have helped me -
*reading a couple EC books before I started and keeping them on hand
*starting slow - just at regular intervals of before and after feeds but not if she was too distressed, and definitely after waking up. Then gradually building more opportunities in, and after a couple weeks you will be amazed that you started to see your baby’s own signals or cues that they are about to go.
*Sticking to home (unless on holiday or travelling, when we would still do EC in any accommodation we stayed in) a lot of people do EC when out and about in the day - for me this was too stressful, so stuck to nappies when out.
*not telling too many people because they thought I was crazy in the UK and I was surprised how many negative comments I received (though funny enough, no one batted an eyelid when we travelled abroad).
*if you are able - baby-wearing and holding makes it a lot easier to pick up the signals.