Toddler rejects mom - please help

[Numbug]

I have an almost 2 year old child who has been rejecting me in favor of his dad for many months. People tell me it's a phase but that doesn't help me deal with the challenges I have with it, however long it lasts. My toddler insists that his dad must do absolutely everything: change him, bathe him, dress him, switch lights on or off, close the curtains, shut the door, and so on. You might say that sounds like it makes my life easier, but really it prevents me just parenting my son when his father is around, and when I'm alone with him, it makes it really difficult to get anything done as my son wants his dad anyways. If I try to do things, he has a huge tantrum, almost every time.

I'm wondering if anyone has experienced this or has advice on how to deal with it. Up until now we have usually just had my partner do things to avoid the tantrum and I take a back seat, but I'm so tired of this, I'm feeling powerless and I'm tempted to start refusing to give in, and insist that I will do things, and let him have the tantrum.

Any suggestions on what will help me be able to get on with things without leading to a tantrum every time? Should I just wait it out and let my partner do it all, or should I put my foot down and wait out the tantrums in the hope my son will realize this can't continue?

Obviously it makes me feel very sad that he rejects me, and it also makes parenting even more stressful.

My partner and I work similar hours and both spend a similar amount of time with our child.

Please help me out if you have advice.

I went through the same when my son was a toddler. He wanted his Dad to do everything and loudly rejected me. It was “Daddy do!” for everything! It used to really get me down and I did feel like I had somehow failed. Toddlers love to push boundaries and it is completely normal for them, while discovering that they are independent of their parents, to have strong preferences for one parent. I did find it very difficult as you rarely hear about mothers being rejected, I tried not to show that I was upset.

What I also found unfair was that I took my son to loads of activities, played with him, painting, crafts etc and his dad just had to exist and my son preferred him 🤣

It was a phase and did pass eventually!

My ex could be a dick about it unfortunately and would bring it up in arguments saying that our son preferred him… grr!

I have a child who was like this with me, then with her dad to the extent that when she woke up one evening and he was out at a gig he had to run halfway home and then catch a taxi for the rest, she was so inconsolable. Then I was the favourite again for a while.

Please don't worry about it. For some children I think it is part of their knowing they can manage their environment and will be looked after as they need.