Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Baby groups.

46 replies

Alisha0601 · 24/04/2024 20:50

Can people tell me a little about their experiences with mother and baby groups please? A little background, I have a loving partner and supportive family, but recently fell out with my bestfriend of ALOT of years and there is no going back. My little man is 3 months old and I feel like he doesn't get to see any actual babies, the closest is his 6 year old brother on Sundays, ( his dad's son, not mine). I'm also quite lonely and feel sad that i don't have anyone to share experiences with, woman to woman. Mother to mother. The stories I've heard on mother and baby groups put me off going though and I know I should go and make my own decision but I have anxiety about it.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Original poster
Alisha0601 · 24/04/2024 22:02

CuteCillian · 24/04/2024 21:51

Such a shame I'm reading this now as there is a brilliant, occasional group at Coventry Cathedral, but it was today!
It is called Baby Chill and they say
"Let your little ones be mesmerized by the shapes and colours of the Cathedral.
Baby chill is a chance to hang out with fellow parents and enjoy some Cathedral Zen. There's always tea and biscuits (with oat milk of course).
Primarily the sessions are for new-borns, up to 18 months but we know childcare can be a faff so if you do have a toddler that needs to come along just let us know and we can be prepared to entertain."

Do keep an eye on the cathedral website for the next one. It is a such a friendly, chilled atmosphere.

This sounds really good, and I'll definitely keep an eye out. Thank you 🥰

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

0-3 months old 3-6 months old 6 year olds Babies & sleep
Freixene · 24/04/2024 22:09

Just a couple of links I found OP, hope you don’t mind. Sounds like you’re coping really well but don’t underestimate the breakdown of a friendship like that, it can be worse than breaking up a relationship sometimes. Be kind to yourself and take all the support you can.

PancakeClock · 24/04/2024 22:10

Another vote for the church playgroups. In my town there's pretty much one every morning of the week and plenty of people do the rounds. Most have quieter areas set up for non-walkers. My favourite one had really lovely volunteers in the baby room who would make everyone a drink and talk to any newcomers, bringing them in to conversations if they were a bit shy. There's often a story, snack time and/or singing to give the session a bit of structure.

Groups like baby massage can be good but are more expensive and it's much more likely that you'll go, do the session then leave without really talking to anyone.

Original poster
Alisha0601 · 24/04/2024 22:10

Freixene · 24/04/2024 22:02

Unfortunately, I don't have Facebook or ise social media due to a DA situation with an ex who hacked and stalked every platform I was on when I left he found out where I was through Facebook chat with my mum on my own account. Never been able to bring myself to go back on any of them since, I'll have a look at this one though. Thank you ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Alisha0601 · 24/04/2024 22:12

Freixene · 24/04/2024 22:09

Just a couple of links I found OP, hope you don’t mind. Sounds like you’re coping really well but don’t underestimate the breakdown of a friendship like that, it can be worse than breaking up a relationship sometimes. Be kind to yourself and take all the support you can.

Just saw this message. Thank you, trying to be proactive before things get bad because I have the little man now, and got to do my best for his sake. 🥰

OP posts:
Original poster
Alisha0601 · 24/04/2024 22:14

PancakeClock · 24/04/2024 22:10

Another vote for the church playgroups. In my town there's pretty much one every morning of the week and plenty of people do the rounds. Most have quieter areas set up for non-walkers. My favourite one had really lovely volunteers in the baby room who would make everyone a drink and talk to any newcomers, bringing them in to conversations if they were a bit shy. There's often a story, snack time and/or singing to give the session a bit of structure.

Groups like baby massage can be good but are more expensive and it's much more likely that you'll go, do the session then leave without really talking to anyone.

I've never even thought to look at church play groups unitil this thread so I'll give them a look at. Thank you 🥰. Yeah that's what I'm worried about if no one talks to me I probably won't speak, not out of rudeness, just out of shyness.

OP posts:
Original poster
Alisha0601 · 24/04/2024 22:19

Sailawaygirl · 24/04/2024 21:52

I want to give you a hug 🤗 . I don't make friends easily but I liked baby massage ( health visitors ran it do it was free!) Because your focusing on doing the massage but end up talking to who ever is next to you cause someone's baby will fart, cry, puke, poo or make funny noise and the the other mums like 'oh mine does that too '. I liked the free health visitor groups better than singing groups I have gone to.
I do baby swimming and enjoying chatting to other mums at that too

I would happily take that hug right now 😭🤣. This sound ideal, babies sort of start the conversations off. Swimming sounds good but I haven't been in years due to not wanting to put a swimming costume on🤣. My own silly mind, I might look and see if there's any near me and just throw myself in at the deep end, no pun intended

OP posts:
Original poster
Alisha0601 · 24/04/2024 22:20

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 24/04/2024 21:55

There is an old saying "a stranger is a friend you haven't yet met". Even if just tea and cake with others in the same boat can help mentally.Give it a go and have fun.

That's a saying I will definitely think about from now on. Thank you ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Alisha0601 · 24/04/2024 22:26

Freixene · 24/04/2024 21:55

I have a little boy. I love that now he’s a bit older, he’s doing more- smiling, trying to roll, etc but exhausting too!

Absolutely ask at the GP- I’m positive they’ll have some suggestions/referrals.

My experience of baby massage has been all in circle on yoga mats. If baby’s asleep, you can still sit in the circle and just hold him, or leave him in the pram/car seat. Mine has been asleep when we’ve got there before and we’ve just joined in when he’s woken up. Once or twice though, he’s slept through the whole thing! Because it’s a nice quiet environment though (as opposed to the nursery rhymes, songs and musical instruments of baby sensory and other classes!) its been really focused on just mums chatting. One of them has gone round in the circle and asked everyone to talk about their challenges and little wins from that week which is a good prompt, but there’s never any pressure.

Show quote history

Aww mine is also a Little boy, It definitely is exhausting. I love the smiles and giggles, makes my heart melt, how's he getting on with the rolling over? We're at that stage to, he can get on his side but hasn't quite worked out how to get to his belly yet. I think the nursery rhyme classes scare me the most haha. It's been nice to see so many positive responses though. I really am going to try and start going to a couple.

OP posts:
Original poster
Alisha0601 · 24/04/2024 22:40

Freixene · 24/04/2024 22:30

Ha- he’s garbage at the rolling, but I’m not too fussed- he’ll do it at his own pace as at least I know he’ll stay where I leave him at the moment!

Found another link- looks like you’ve got some lovely choices in your area.

https://www.coventryrocks.co.uk/things-to-do/baby-and-toddler-groups-in-coventry

He will get there. I tell myself all the time not to get so caught up in if they can do something or not because as silly as it sounds once he can do it I'll miss the cuteness of him not being able to. Just gonna have a look on that link now, I tried that website before but kept saying wasn't available for some reason

OP posts:
RedRobyn2021 · 25/04/2024 13:19

@Alisha0601 yes I felt embarrassed that I was lonely too, but a lot of women experience this I think but nobody ever talks about it so you go around thinking it's just you.

Get yourself to some local playgroups or if you prefer a paid baby group and just get talking with the other parents, just having a chat with another adult can lift your spirits so much.

TinyTeachr · 25/04/2024 13:48

As several other have kind of said, there are two distinct types of groups.

One type is baby swimming, baby sensory, musical bumps.... they at good, by primarily you are there for an activity. There is a group leader abd you do what youre told and it's great bonding time with bahy and can give you ideas for entertaining them at home. But you don't tend to socialise much. They also tend to be relatively expensive.

The second type is more free range. Church groups or those run at community centres or children's centres. Tends to be lots of tots/activities out but quite unstructured. Those are the ones where mums are encouraged to have a chat and make friends. They are often free or very cheap.

I've had good experiences with both types. The first type definitely useful with first DC! Haven bothered with the for DC4 as I've got plant of ideas for how to entertain her. The second type I've made one or two good friends and a lot of local acquaintances and that's been really useful socially.

Some groups can be cliquey. So try out a couple and then drop the ones you don't enjoy after 3 sessions.

Best of luck OP. Hope your moving plans go smoothly when the time comes. Mat leave on your own much be very quiet, I'm not surprise you are finding it a bit lonely.

Original poster
Alisha0601 · 25/04/2024 21:14

TinyTeachr · 25/04/2024 13:48

As several other have kind of said, there are two distinct types of groups.

One type is baby swimming, baby sensory, musical bumps.... they at good, by primarily you are there for an activity. There is a group leader abd you do what youre told and it's great bonding time with bahy and can give you ideas for entertaining them at home. But you don't tend to socialise much. They also tend to be relatively expensive.

The second type is more free range. Church groups or those run at community centres or children's centres. Tends to be lots of tots/activities out but quite unstructured. Those are the ones where mums are encouraged to have a chat and make friends. They are often free or very cheap.

I've had good experiences with both types. The first type definitely useful with first DC! Haven bothered with the for DC4 as I've got plant of ideas for how to entertain her. The second type I've made one or two good friends and a lot of local acquaintances and that's been really useful socially.

Some groups can be cliquey. So try out a couple and then drop the ones you don't enjoy after 3 sessions.

Best of luck OP. Hope your moving plans go smoothly when the time comes. Mat leave on your own much be very quiet, I'm not surprise you are finding it a bit lonely.

There's actually a buggy fit one near me, which someone mentioned and I'm going to go for it. It's sounds like something I'd be up for so gonna give it a go and take the leap. Thank you for replying. I've had such a lovely response from so many.
I had to ask because most stories I've heard were bad and I kept thinking there must be good experiences to, or there wouldn't be any left by now.
I've definitely gained alot of confidence in the idea since hearing everyone's stories.

I appreciate the "3 sessions" idea as well because then I'm giving it a real fair chance, rather than just getting in my own head after the first time so thank you❤️.

OP posts:
Original poster
Alisha0601 · 25/04/2024 21:16

RedRobyn2021 · 25/04/2024 13:19

@Alisha0601 yes I felt embarrassed that I was lonely too, but a lot of women experience this I think but nobody ever talks about it so you go around thinking it's just you.

Get yourself to some local playgroups or if you prefer a paid baby group and just get talking with the other parents, just having a chat with another adult can lift your spirits so much.

It's strange isn't it, why does it seem so taboo if so many go through it. I've found a buggy fit group near me and I like the sound of it so think I'm gonna start there and work my way around the different groups, see what is for me, and the little man seems to enjoy To. Thank you. Ive even just loved having the little chats on here. Didn't realise how out of touch I felt until coming on here. Going to get it sorted. 🥰

OP posts:
RedRobyn2021 · 26/04/2024 09:10

@Alisha0601 that sounds like so much fun, good luck

HanaPales · 26/04/2024 13:13

I know this can be a very isolating time, but try to not get too hung up on making lots of connections now. My LO was born in spring 2020 - covid meant no baby groups for us and barely any human connections other than myself, my husband and my MIL for my DDs first year. I felt lonely and sad that I'd missed the boat on local 'mum friends'. But we gradually managed to widen our social circle, started some extra curricular classes with her, and friendships happened quite naturally, we didn't go seeking them. Reading through these posts I'm quite jealous of all the baby groups people seem to have enjoyed but my advice would be don't worry about taking it slowly and don't put pressure on yourself if you feel anxious - your kid's childhood will be long and you will meet friends along the way in many different places.

RedRobyn2021 · 26/04/2024 16:58

@HanaPales my DD was born Feb 2021 during the last lockdown and even after everything opened up, baby groups were a bit weird with people really separated. I'm pregnant with number 2 and I'm hoping for a completely different experience 🤩

Original poster
Alisha0601 · 26/04/2024 21:00

HanaPales · 26/04/2024 13:13

I know this can be a very isolating time, but try to not get too hung up on making lots of connections now. My LO was born in spring 2020 - covid meant no baby groups for us and barely any human connections other than myself, my husband and my MIL for my DDs first year. I felt lonely and sad that I'd missed the boat on local 'mum friends'. But we gradually managed to widen our social circle, started some extra curricular classes with her, and friendships happened quite naturally, we didn't go seeking them. Reading through these posts I'm quite jealous of all the baby groups people seem to have enjoyed but my advice would be don't worry about taking it slowly and don't put pressure on yourself if you feel anxious - your kid's childhood will be long and you will meet friends along the way in many different places.

Thank you for this; it makes me feel alot better. It must have been so hard during covid, I'm glad it changed for you over time. I have definitely been shocked by the amount of different types there are, I just always pictured mums sitting around in circles singing nursery rhymes. I know that does happen in some but it's really all I thought there was. Guess I've never looked into it before because I've never had to. Your reply definitely has made me feel better as well, there's plenty of time. Thank you 🥰

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page