What makes somebody a good mother?

[tryingforbaba]

My life's mission is to be the best mother I can be to my children (18 months & currently pregnant with 2nd)

I realise it's very subjective but I'm interested to know... what do YOU think makes somebody a good/ great/ fantastic mother?

Books
And show them you have your own interests too.
It is good they know mummy goes out to yoga or to her own classes or to work and is not wholly bound up with her children 100% 24/7.

Try your best
Don't lose yourself to motherhood
Accept that your growing children are their own people
Try and build confidence and inquisitiveness in them
Make sure you advocate for them
Don't fight their battles for them
Acknowledge that they are flawed, as we all are

My mother was abusive so I spend a lot of time worrying about this.

I think stability is key. I am actually belive that children with stable homes are in the minority. I work hard to regulate myself and our home so that my children aren't subject to my whims and bad moods.

I also want to make my children know that they are loved and so incredibly important to me. I take an interest in their interests and don't try and live vicariously through them. I try to be present which means I will bend over backwards to be at every event or performance. I am working on my phone use!

I parent the children I have and not the children I think I have. My DD cannot sleep alone, she will leave her room at 2am to come and find an adult so one of us sleeps with her. Friends and family tell us non stop how they're child had been sleeping for years alone at her age but their child is not my child.

I've also married a man who understands that a happy home is my main priority and he pulls his weight and is the best father I know.

As a mum to an adult child, I've realised the best I can do for them is to listen.

My child works from our home and will often relate difficult management/personnel issues they are trying to handle (while,of course, maintaining appropriate discretion). I listen, and if asked for an opinion, will give it. If not asked (if they are just venting) I smile and nod.

So, listening without necessarily judging is what I try to do

Wholeheartedly agree with this. One of my children is, in a lot of ways, like a typical preschooler but in others, can be incredibly shy and sensitive. Sometimes others just haven’t ‘got’ her as they don’t know her like we do. I hope she knows I’ve got her.

Also, it really is about keeping it simple when they’re young I believe. Mine are just so happy playing in the woods/garden/a sandpit and you don’t need to spend money everyday trying to occupy them.

I also read something once that resonated with me: when your child enters the room, does your face light up? (Toni Morrison) “You've made this day a special day, by just your being you. There's no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” I just am extra aware that when they get back from the park with their dad or come in from school, I try to show how pleased I am that they are here with a little fuss. (Obviously I am human and they doesn’t always happen but I try!)

I think the most important thing is that your kids 100% know that you will always love them, no matter what, even if you don’t agree or approve of their behaviour that your love for them is forever and the bond can never be broken. I believe that gives them an inner sense of stability.

otherwise I think it’s important to be their to guide them, take a interest in what they have to say and their lives and watch over them and know when to step in and to know when to step back.

to give them health. We have such a major impact on the future health of our kids. Giving them healthy habits like having lots of veg on your plate, brushing your teeth twice a day, doing enough exercise, making outside time and nature important, making them wear helmets, drinking water. These are all habits built in childhood that will dramatically increase their chances of being healthy adults.

I also read something once that resonated with me: when your child enters the room, does your face light up? (Toni Morrison) “You've made this day a special day, by just your being you. There's no person in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” I just am extra aware that when they get back from the park with their dad or come in from school, I try to show how pleased I am that they are here with a little fuss.

i love that ❤️