When to be concerned about baby not eating solids

[Turtlegurl888]

I posted a thread when my baby was 7 months as he had no interest in food (puree or finger foods).

He is now 9 months old and very little has changed. He now picks up maybe 5% of foods I offer but eats nothing. Virtually nothing. He puts it to his mouth then throws it away, again and again. About 20% of the time he will eat a spoonfed yoghurt if he is distracted by something, like the TV or a toy, but more often than not refuses. We eat together at the dining table. I eat the same things I offer to him.

Everyone keeps telling me this is normal and I've been in contact with the HV near fortnightly about it, but I can't stop worrying about it. His peers are eating full meals, dropping bottles and actively want to eat, like they know food will sate their hunger.

I have tried reducing his milk feeds by 1oz per bottle but it has made no difference other than he is waking up more at night because he's hungry and nothing will settle him but a bottle.

Is it still OK? Google suggests seeking further help if baby eats no solids at 9 months.

I offer a fair variety, fruits and veg finger sized pieces, toast, crumpets, baby snacks, meat, saucy/potatoey homemade meals, pancakes, omelette, porridge etc at least twice a day, and sometimes I try lunch too.

My son was like this. Was so distressing. We were under feeding specialist at Evelina because he was 5 and still not eating and was on special milk for calories. He's 12 now and eats more than most grown men!

Keep offering food and letting him play with it - that was the main advice from the specialist.

What does a normal days diet look like?

Thanks very much for replying 💜 I feel like I know something isn't right and I keep being dismissed by professionals. He makes a disgusted face on picking almost any food up, like it is sensory related. He can eat baby wafers with no issues at all, he loves them, so I know he can eat.

Typical day (and please don't judge as this isn't at all for lack of trying). He is also a terrible sleeper and wakes for milk 2-3 times a night, the last being about 4:30-5, so he isn't hungry for milk on waking, which to be fair probably throws the whole day off.

• Wake approx 6:30am
• Breakfast 7:30-8am (some variation of crumpet/toast/porridge/yoghurt, I suppose I get 2-3 tiny baby spoons of porridge down him with reluctance and he nibbles at maybe a quarter of a toast finger)
• Bottle and nap 9:30am

If I do attempt lunch I'll do it not long after his nap, about 12ish. Today I offered a couple of sweet potato fingers (dried off so not soggy or wet) and a little banana bread pudding thing from Ella's kitchen (completely smooth), he threw the potato fingers immediately and had a spoonful of the puree.

• Bottle and nap about 2pm
• Teatime is 5pm, some babyfied variation of whatever we are having but always includes a finger food and a liquidy solid, like yoghurt, thin mash, pureed peas, etc. Example is beans or hoops on toast with a floret of tenderstem broccoli or similar. Still only a couple of tiny spoons (which always feel forced) and nibbling on finger food if he will pick it up at all.
• Bottle and bed 6:30/7

He is never happy or excited or even remotely interested around food.
He won't eat baby food pouches or jars at all.

I really appreciate the insight and it is so good to have another perspective. I keep being told it will change suddenly and maybe it will, but I too am really getting distressed about it. I just wish he would try foods or even touch/hold them. He gets nothing out of meal times other than sitting with us and whinging the whole time.

Was your son a crap eater from the get go with weaning? Do you remember what it was that finally cracked his eating?

I know many children that are fussy with food, but for the most part babies seem happy to touch and hold what they are given. I'm terrified I've somehow created an association with food for him of discomfort or fear or something...

He does also like fruit in a dummy feeder. Blueberries and mango are hits, raspberries a bit less so but he will still have a suck on it.
Chewing is not the issue, he can chew and has 8 teeth at 9 months (tomorrow!)

My first was like this and wasn't really eating by 1. He got a lot better at nursery with children around him eating.

Keep it fun. Try and sit to eat together so he can see eating.

With my next I did a mix or purées and blw. I actually started with jars and he loved them. Home made purée not so much but I was happy he was weaned!

He is eating more than mine did at that age by miles!

I agree to keep it lighthearted and non pressured. Keep food out at all times and dont take things away from him. Play with food aswell, let him get messy with it and have lengthy meal times.

If he's a milk baby, he's a milk baby. Mine was too. I found it hard when 5 months old were eating food and my 3 year old was on milk and the odd puree!

The specialist always told me that it was sensory - it totally was - and that he would likely go straight to crunchy foods, i didnt believe them but they were so right. Yours seems to like the crunchy wafers so stay along that theme.

If you still feel anxious, have a referral made to feeding team but 9 months is still quite little. Mine only had referrals made because he was gagging on any texture whatsoever besides watery, lumpless puree.

Play with food and lick it, put it on his hands and around his mouth. May not work but wont do any harm! Xx

I only have one so cannot compare but DD was fussy and what you've listed honestly doesn't seem short or wrong by any means.

You're doing a great job!

Have a referral made if you're concerned, always better to listen to professionals than strangers on the internet

He's going to a childminder in March so I'm hoping for that too! They mimic each other don't they.

I of course know you mean it kindly but I can't make it any more fun than I am for no result. I apologise for being short, its just after dinner time now and I'm stressed and upset.

He hates mealtimes, he refuses to touch any food and wants to get out of the highchair as soon as he's in it (or equivalent floor chair, even the walker when there's food involved, makes no difference). I eat with him for breakfast and lunch and when my partner is home we all eat together and do the happy chirpy chatting, open mouthed chewing, saying mmmm yum yum it's so lovely, Mommy has got the same as you, etc. He'll turn as far as possible away from the food like a 180 in the highchair and cry over the back of it until I get him out. Today I managed to get a spoonful of mushed up pie (what we had for dinner) and mash in his mouth and I watched him gag and physically pick it out of his mouth to throw it in disgust.

Next time I will 100% just wean with baby jars and I will do it earlier - we started at 6 months as per guidelines. I'm now questioning whether some early exposure in the form of first tastes 4+ month pouches might have made any difference in getting him used to it.

Thanks for your comment xx

Meant nicely, that does make me feel a bit better, thank you. Some days it feels like nothing passes his lips at all. I try very hard to not be bothered when nothing gets touched or goes into his mouth but it is so hard, as you know.
I think not eating bothers me less than his refusal to engage with food at all - not touching it, turning away from it, trying to escape it (😂) makes me upset and feel like something is wrong.
I've tried messy play many times, he won't touch anything wet. His dad was exactly the same as a baby apparently. But I will have a go at putting it on his hands and around his mouth, thank you :)

Yes crunchy seems to be the way forward.

Tbf today he has had a yoghurt and a finger of crumpet for breakfast, a couple of baby wafers and puffs over lunchtime, half a slice of Milkroll toast when he woke up from his afternoon nap and I've relented and given him a fruit smoothie pouch after he didn't touch his actual dinner.
Now I've read that back, it's obvious he's not eating NOTHING. But I'm still going to keep a close eye on progress and keep harping on to the HV in the meantime as if there genuinely is any issue I want it sorted as early as possible.

Your comment about milk babies being milk babies made me feel a lot better though thank you. Comparison is the thief of joy I know, but yes I agree I absolutely hate watching younger babies happily chow down on anything and everything.

Thank you :) he is my precious first born and I appreciate the support! I'm sure with the next baby I'll be actively preventing proper weaning until I absolutely have to 😂😂

I'm in consistent contact with the HVs about it so hopefully if nothing changes in the next couple months we will be referred quickly.

Hi, I just read your message and wanted to say sorry if my advice sounded flippant. I remember hating it when people said to me keep it fun. At 9 months I was desparing and booked myself on an NCT weaning course to teach myself how to wean and start again.

One other thing I did which is kind of against the rules but bear with me. I would put my son in the high chair while I was in the kitchen (cooking or cleaning etc). Put food on the chair and then ignore him (he would never eat when i watched him).

And lastly with the second - as I needed him
In the chair during meals I bought high chair toys and went with it.

I think you need to really, really chill out OP. The anxiety and stress is so evident in your posts and will be clear to your baby too. The having him strapped into a highchair trying to get out, forcing spoons if food into his mouth etc. You're unintentionally building so many bad associations for him.

Just relax.

Put a pin in it and allow yourself to freak out again if no improvement when he turns one. Until then, give him the few things he likes, when he wants them and as much milk as he wants and needs (sleep is massively important too and you don't want him waking unnecessarily because you're restricting milk).

Take a deep breath and think about how many adults you know who only drink milk and eat baby wafers? None, right? Everyone weans eventually.

My first DS ate virtually nothing until about 15 months. At his 1 year check I remember saying he had eaten 6 Cheerios the day before 😂. He only started eating when I stopped giving him bottles, and even then he was only eating 4+ month pouches and witless refuse the older more textured ones. Slowly it got better and now he’s 6 and eats fine! By contrast his brother who ate anything from 6months is now very very fussy!
I know it’s really hard but I would try not to stress, they don’t need food until they are 1 and they will get there eventually. No child goes to school only drinking milk!

Does he feed to sleep? May e the milk in the night isn't really a hunger thing as a sleep crutch thing, and he doesn't know how to go back to sleep without it?

At 10 months my daughter ate 0-2 spoons of Weetabix and 5 or 6 peas a day.
From 7-13 months she only gained 200g total and dropped a percentile. She didn't eat a meal until 13 months.
She has a long list of food allergies so it was hard to find foods she could eat. It did mean that we had a dietician support and we were also in mother and baby unit too and she wouldn't eat for the nursery nurses too. Everyone was quite chill about it.

She's 3 now and still goes through phases of not eating at all and then eats loads. It all averages out in the wash. She's still under the hospital and gets weigh-ins every few months which helps keep my mum anxieties at bay

Under 1 it's just for fun. - Remember this, chant it in your head as you watch another loving prepared meal go in the bin (yes it's tough!)

Is he growing? Is he active? Is the HV or GP concerned?

It is really important that eating/food is relaxed for children and it does not sound as if it is for you.

It sounds like you're pushing too hard and he will pick up on this.

You offer small amounts of food at regular times, and if he's not interested you don't push it.

Some children are simply more hungry/interested in food than others.

I'm sorry I never replied to this thread, I've been trying to give myself a bit of mental space from worrying about this.

He is turning 10 months next week and there has been no improvement, other than he will now only eat wotsits, or yoghurt (spoon fed) and 4mth+ fruit pouches when he is in the right mood.

I am trying so hard not to worry but I really feel now he would benefit from some feeding therapy. We have his 9-12 month check week after next, I'm going to bring it up AGAIN then.

@Turtlegurl888 feel your pain and anguish completely we are in the same boat with texture and no food… its heartbreaking. But I’ve just backed right off and leaving the little one to explore what we are eating if he wants too encourgaing messy play. All else fails he’s going to nursery in April. We are 8’months in and he’s never had a meal. Health visitor is visiting next week Friday but they don’t seem fussed at all.

Just thought I'd update.

My little one is 11 months old next week and we had his 9-12 month check recently. The HV said she will call me monthly until there's a marked improvement.

At the moment there's been little change to his eating. Some days, maybe 1 or 2 a week, are better than others. He had a very bad cold for nearly 3 weeks after Christmas and ate virtually nothing and his milk intake was a quarter of what it normally is too, all that time. I was stunned to hear he's still on the same weight percentile as he always has been.

Now he's teething his top canines too. Just feels like there's no end in sight to this struggle, and it is a battle most days to get him to eat anything at all. Even yoghurt, fruit pouches and crispy things (skips quavers etc), previous failsafes, are getting rejected often. He's been constipated too.

I am doing KIT days once a week and even his childminder has commented on how little he eats.
Feeling so down and like I'm failing my gorgeous baby. I don't understand what to do or how to help him learn that food is good. Nothing works. And honestly I feel like I've fallen into a habit of offering easy things like toast, crumpets because I'm sick of wasting my money, time and energy buying and making lovely yummy age appropriate foods that don't even get looked at, no matter touched.

The one observation I have made is he is way too interested in playing, crawling, toys, generally being on the floor knocking about to eat. Timing is so hard for us. He's a terrible sleeper so we feed to sleep. Then he isn't hungry when he wakes up, so we play and wait. The cycle of me offering food and him tantrumming to get down from the highchair or crawl away from the playmat if I try him with anything while he's playing continues until he's inevitably too tired to actually eat, even if he is hungry, and then wants a bottle and to sleep. Repeat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I just can't wait for this to be over, I wish it was easier, and the thought of doing this again honestly puts me off having another child, it's been so detrimental to my mental health.

I'm sorry things are still tough. It's a really hard age there is just so much going on for them. Learning to eat, learning to move and walk, learning to speak and communicate, some big and sore teeth start to come through. Often primary care givers starts to return to work. There aren't many choices that a baby gets to do and they are what they play with and what they put in their mouth!

I hear you with the cost and waste, we still regularly have a fridge full of rejected food and my daughter is 3! We offer most foods twice, things like toast go straight in the bin. We made use of frozen fruit and veg as we could just defrost a very small portion and it reduced waste compared to dealing with fresh food. I used to have plates of snacks around the living room. A bread stick, chunk of cucumber and maybe 2 slices of tinned peaches some days it would tempt her especially if she knew she didn't have to stop playing to have a nibble! She liked big food too and once spent an entire day eating a 1/2 a cucumber she stole from the fridge.

@Turtlegurl888
hi there apologies for the late reply, it’s taken mental and emotional energy to pluck to reply. Our nearly 9 month old is pretty much the same. By some miracle he’s gotten a little more interested in porridge and weetabix but over the last few days has started to just store the food in his mouth. This can go on for 15-20 minutes.

like you it is easy to fall into the trap of offering things you feel they will eat which is dry cereal and potentially some berries but nothing that resembles a proper meal. He’s due to start nursery in 7 weeks and I cannot welcome the time to move on any quicker. I feel at my wits end with the whole thing and I also feel the need to share it without feeling so responsible for mealtimes.

I know nursery really helped my older two with eating and also feeling hunger as they soon realised when the food was removed and they were hungry they would need to eat the next meal. I also found them more hungry on days they were to nursery so they were then more willing to eat whatever was given at home.

I am really looking forward to this phase being fully over. However I am also well aware that until he’s fully teethed etc we are a little way off him settling down with food even then their appetites fluctuate.

he can’t and won’t want to drink milk forever is a mantra I chant in my head every single day. By force of looking at nursery he’s going to eat and be tempted.

Hope your okay, sending lots of virtual love x

How is it going for you now, any change at all?

Overall there's been little change for us but we are very slowly getting more good days. Occasionally he will have a really good meal where he will at least try everything now, but I can't figure out what the trigger is for it still. He's cutting back on milk by himself so I've bought a multivitamin dropper to supplement anything he's not getting enough of from formula.

The HV was meant to be visiting to observe a mealtime but I had to cancel unfortunately as my little one has been really really poorly the last couple of weeks, and ate literally nothing (except milk) for the entire time he was under the weather so it was pointless her coming as that wasn't a true reflection of his eating habits. At the same time as his terrible cold he also cut two molars and a canine. Feels like we can't catch a break!

Overall I'm feeling a bit less anxious about the whole situation now, I know he can eat, I just need to give him time, but will be rearranging with the HV anyway. The childminder has now said he eats small amounts with her, but she is not concerned but is working with us to spur him on, and has over 35 years early years care and teaching experience, so I am reassured by this. He has only really been 1 full week because of the virus he had recently, so I'm excited to see the changes for him as he continues to go to the childminder. I have already seen a difference! Hope all OK with you xx

@Turtlegurl888

Hi, I hope you are well

My little one is 11 months and sounds exactly like what you went through

I'm so stressed and anxious, how is your little one eating now?

Thanks

Hiya. Firstly you have my sympathy! It is very very tough.

Mine is 15 months now and still eats very little. I've made my peace with it for the most part, only because my little one is gaining weight so he must be getting enough. I just make sure he has a multivitamin. Starting childcare did help, but he is still very fussy. He's also cutting back molars at the moment so we have good days and very bad days. He still won't touch vegetables but does have banana and orange now, garlic bread and toast, some potato items, yoghurt and other puddings. Sometimes he will have sausage and fish fingers. He loves crisps and chocolate of course 🙄

How much milk is your little one having?

@Turtlegurl888

Thank you for your reply!

I'm glad there is some improvement for you

My little one seems to struggle with an aversion. He had a milk allergy which was diagnosed late so we've gone from a bottle aversion to a food aversion. He won't pick up food and eat it, hates the spoon so I have to try and put things in his mouth. We are under a dietician ATM but not much has changed. I'm hoping time will help but it's so hard not to stress!!!

He is averaging 600ml a day and is on high calorie formula due to low weight gain

@Turtlegurl888hi,I am having the same struggles my 9 month old won’t eat,we have been struggling from 6 months,she was never keen on the spoon and will only take a yoghurt every so often if she feels like it. We have tried decreasing the amount in her bottles recently but I think she is more hungry at night time as a result.
we try to start the morning with weetabix/porridge first but she rarely takes it so I end up giving a bottle(reduced amount in the hope she’ll be hungry again for some food) but when we try food again 2/3 hours later she is still not hungry for food.
did things improve for you?