How to stop breastfeeding to sleep?

[Janebloom]

DC is 7 months and feeds to sleep for all naps and at night. I need to stop this for various reasons. DC will not take a bottle or dummy despite many attempts. Hoping if I feed her before bed DH will be able to rock her to sleep? Alternatively should we look at sleep training to get her to self settle? Had no issues with my first and he took a dummy and bottle so I'm a bit unsure what is the best thing to do?

I wouldn’t worry enormously, my daughter just stopped feeding to sleep at around that age, she would feed and not sleep after. For a while I rocked her instead, then discovered if I just put her down and left she went to sleep. I expect she will grow out of it within a few months.

I guess if you urgently need to stop (you don’t say why) then this won’t help much!

Thanks, it's for my own sanity plus need to start planning to go back to work, so don't want her to have this association

Habit stacking can help, another caregiver like her dad coming in and rocking.

Or the easiest option, just continue to feed to sleep. It's natural and it's easy.

My son naturally stopped around 16months I think. I honestly cant remember lol. Only feeds in the morning now x

No advice as I always fed to sleep but wanted to say I hope you're not feeling pressured to stop feeding to sleep, OP, and your main reason to want to stop is your own choice.

I went back to work 11m and baby continued to feed to sleep until.....2y8m! They just learnt a different way to get to sleep at childcare or whenever I wasn't there.

Good luck!

Following due to my 2yr old feeding to sleep

I only stopped at around 18 months when they could understand no, and got my husband to do a few of the bedtimes. I made quite a concerted effort not to go over 18m though as I've heard it's much harder to stop after that! There is a natural dip in breastfeeding around 9m so you might find it easier then.

I just want a break and a life outside of being a mother. Other mum friends are able to go out for the evening, have a drink and have their partner or a family member look after baby and put them to sleep. I just feel trapped, plus baby is up so many times during the night and each time needs fed back to sleep. I just feel like giving up breast feeding if it meant getting one night of sleep

Totally get that and it is a very valid reason, I'm glad it's not pressure from anyone but your own choice.

Have you tried just going out and letting partner get on with it? Leave some pumped milk? When you've tried a bottle, have you been out the house? If baby won't accept a bottle, you could always get partner to offer expressed milk in a cup since they're weaning and presumably learning to be use cups now anyway! Just some thoughts although you've probably already tried them 😊 But there were times at a similar age when I fed baby, handed them to DH then went out for the evening for drinks with NCT mum friends and left him to it. It wasn't easy that first time (for anyone!) and I was constant checking my phone for updates but baby still slept, DH felt empowered that he could manage without me, and I felt refreshed too (and not only for the proseccos consumed). I'm navigating my second EBF journey now, 5m in, I completely feel you on the many, many night wakings. But I know it won't be forever and actually, I do kind of miss those middle of the night snuggles that were just us, my eldest and I. Never thought I would ever reach that point!

Yes we've tried, unfortunately baby is still awak waking for me when I get home no matter what time it's at. Baby not really taking to a cup or bottle and I can't seem to get much milk from pumping so it's only formula available.
We'll try again but anytime partner has baby she just cries hysterically until she gets boob fed it's ridiculous

I’m just jumping on this to see if there were any threads offering advice as I am in the same situation OP but my DC is almost 18 months. Oldest DC was BF until around the same age and we just went cold turkey with them whilst on holiday (villa- no neighbours!) as thought the change of scene would help. Youngest DC also feeds to sleep and we co-sleep usually from midnight ish and she is the same, waking up every few hours and wants to stay attached to the boob. I work full-time and am exhausted if we’ve had a bad night and I wish I’d cracked on with getting her off to sleep without BF sooner. She might stop on her own but I feel like her association is getting stronger now she’s older. I too just want to sleep in a comfy position and not always be the one to do bedtime and night wakings. I definitely feel like she would sleep better once she can self soothe too.

So we are stopping. This week. Spurred on by me being at a training course overnight- first night apart from her- hopefully DH is still sane when I get home!

Hope it goes well! A lot of people say to me she'll naturally stop around 1 but then I hear stories of babies still needing it much longer. Think we'll keep trying to feed at the start of the night routine and hope she starts getting it soon otherwise some gentle sleep training might be the way to go for us. I know it's all natural for babies to feed to sleep but think we need to prioritise our mental health too, you've done 18 months which is amazing and has benefitted her so much, good luck

Op I just wanted to say that just because you stop BF doesn't mean she will sleep through!

Also neither of my two naturally weaned at 1. 22 months still going strong. I'm waiting until his last tooth is through then I'm stopping

I don't even mind about sleeping through, though that would be a bonus, would love my partner to be able to get DC down to sleep and resettle her. With our first once we moved to bottles at 3 months he did all the night wakings for me, this time he can't really help as all she wants is the boob to get back to sleep!

Sleep training did it for us. The Little Ones have a method for fed to sleep babies and I followed that. It was gruelling, but he went from short naps and 12+ night wakeups to long naps and sleeping through again. 100% worth the work.

Basically you replace the feed to sleep with feed to soothe. There is some crying, but you go in at regular intervals so it isn't for long periods. Once they get the idea, you drop the feed entirely and encourage self settling.

From memory I started off with feeding until he was drowsy then gently unlatching and rocking him to sleep. He was barely taking anything at night by that point anyway, it was a comfort thing. So I just got him to get his comfort without the milk bit. Then one night when he was 8 months old, he just didn’t want a feed any more at all, just a snuggle. Which of course is not a mum-exclusive thing. 🎊🎉

I remember sitting in his room wanting to weep with frustration as he fed and fed and fed to sleep, while I was desperate to be able to put him safe into his bed and go and eat and rest myself, so the ‘feeding to sleep is so eeeeeeasyyyyy!’ bunch can kiss my ass. It may have been for YOU; that doesn’t not make it so for everyone.

We had the same thought when my son was 6 months and went for a sleep training route. Just one night didn't feed to sleep did breastfeed bath stories put in cot awake. There was some protesting at first but stayed in the room and reassured stroked etc and he went down in the end. Each day it got better and he started to go down quicker. Gradually moved towards the door and did less physical touch until could put him down and walk out the door. Absolutely did not think this was possible but was willing to give it a go and thankfully worked.

Still breast fed once or twice a night until a year same as pre bed would put back in cot awake. Son now 3 so this was a while back but one of the best decisions we made as got some freedom back

Was there a program you used?
How long did it take for him to fall asleep, I think my DD will just cry until she makes herself sick

Yeh we did a plan with this lady - www.happylittledreamers.co.uk

Not a cheap option but my friend had recommended her. Was similar though to the gradual retreat method that you can find for free online but it was nice to have someone to walk us through the process and troubleshoot when naps etc didn't go to plan.

I follow Heidi on Instagram and have done some of her courses which I would recommend positivelyparenthood.com/topics/sleep/

Can't remember exactly how long it took him to fall asleep on the first night (perhaps half an hour?) was definitely quicker than I imagined.

Good luck. Sounds challenging!

I've mostly fed to sleep till much older, but have always found it easier to work on naps before making changes at bedtime. There's just less pressure and you're less tired.

You don't sound like you've got much time to play with, but can you maybe try to start with some motion-assisted maps? TH could take her out in pram after a feedand just take her for a long walk? Could offer a dummy every 5 minutes or so to see if she gives it a try when not in a situation she associated with feeding?

In similar situation to OP. How did this work out for you?

So she never took a dummy or bottle, I continued to breastfeed until she was 14 months but it did reduce, so I stopped for day time naps and then eventually nights. I did breastfeed then rocked to sleep around 9 months and we also did some gentle sleep training.