Does he still need 2 naps?

[Cafeaulait27]

Our 20 month old has always liked his sleep and generally sleeps through until 6.30-7am unless poorly or teething.

He used to have 2 naps, one 9.30-11 and another 2.30-3.30 ish. When he got to about 18 months I felt he should transition to 1 nap as that’s what everyone seems to do and also putting him back down at 9.30 felt really early and although he still slept he didn’t seem tired. So we started pushing it later and he now naps at around 11am but he’s usually awake by 12.30 so he’s then awake until his bedtime at 7.

Since we did this sleep has been a bit hit and miss, with him waking up early, but hard to tell as he was also teething for some of this time. Then we went to stay with family for a week (just in the uk) and he started waking at 5 (sometimes 4.45) every morning. We thought it might be the different environment but it didn’t improve and he’s still doing it at home, it’s been 3 weeks now.

His room is relatively dark with black out blinds but is still light in there in the morning, however this never used to bother him before. We keep an eye on the temperature and pretty sure he’s not too hot or cold. He doesn’t seem poorly or teething.

5am for weeks and weeks is really hard, he wakes up and screams for us and won’t go back down, and won’t sleep in our bed. He has also just started talking a lot more and having the odd tantrum.

just wondering if anyone has had anything similar, we thought it was just a phase and took it in turns to get up but it’s been going on a while now and we’re really tired and wondering if we’re doing something wrong!

I don’t think a later bedtime willl help as he’s been awake for like 6.5 hours in the afternoon, and we’ve tried doing an earlier bedtime which didn’t help.

Wondering if he is just one of those babies who does need 2 naps? Or is it because of his development with language it’s just affecting his sleep and we just need to continue to ride it out?

He has his dinner at 5 but we usually give him something else like yoghurt and banana at about 6 before starting bedtime.

Thanks 😵‍💫

@ContractQuestion not sure if you’ve read my posts properly - 12 hours a night was normal for him and anything you read in books/online will tell you it’s pretty normal (and needed) for this age.

it’s not just because we want to have a break (which we do, and we need sleep) but it’s that he’s very grumpy with it too. i have said this already in my posts on this thread

@Sussexcricket maybe we do need to go for a slightly later bedtime.

he doesn’t always sleep from 12.30-3, sometimes it’s just an hour, it varies.

he seems to be waking up at stupid o clock out of habit it seems, triggered by the holiday, when he never used to do this.

thanks everyone ☺️

I definately did have a long sleeper myself who would be a grump if he didn't, there is a big 'range' in normal. I guess I was trying to say if he's sleeping from 6.15pm he isn't doing too bad if he goes until 5 realistically.

So I found when mine was on 1 nap that the ideal for a 7am wake after night was for him to nap until no later than 3pm, sometimes going down at 12, sometimes at 1, he did happily have a 3 hour nap without an issue, some do. Then I either put him to bed at 7pm or 8pm depending on when he had woken from nap, if he woke at 3pm normally 8pm sleep time (so in bed 7.45) was perfect, if he woke at 2 from a 12pm put down for a nap then 7pm worked and quite often still got the 7am wake up

It is okay for it to be important to you to wake later, I'm just wondering if it's a summer thing and may pass when it stops being so light out!

Also mine sometimes moaned/groaned having a wake at anywhere between 3 and 5am and I'd leave him unless he was actually 'upset' generally I preferred a wake at those sorts of times as he'd drift off again, I started to hate 5.30 as there was no chance then lol.

It is worth contemplating if they do go bed at 7 or earlier that you get 2 hours as a couple if one goes up at 9 and does an early morning if needed, then one can have longer in the eve and the other can have the lay in, I mean under 2 wasn't too bad to get mine back to sleep but once he tried to climb out the cot it was into a bed... and then it's game over if you do end up with an early riser! Mine literally will be 5am some days and 7.45 others, totally unpredictable, but no way to get him to stay sleeping now!

Have you tried going back to two naps?
I know that’s not very normal for an older baby but all sleep needs are different. If he’s knackered in the morning from waking early you got give him literally a 15 min power nap just to take the edge off and then putting him down for a longer nap just after his lunch. For us, early waking was being caused by a vicious cycle of overtiredness

I also meant to mention that any change in routine/schedule that you try you should consistently be doing for a couple of weeks to see any real changes

We do this (bit younger at 15 months though). If he wakes early and doesn't go back off he has a shorter morning nap (always back up by 9.45) and if he doesn't he has one nap usually at 11.30. I think you have to be a bit flexible during this transition.

We've had similar early wakings and similarly baby wasn't ready for the day-very grumpy but wouldn't go back to sleep. I would shush pat him for ages each early morning in pitch black and only get him up after 6, but didn't help. Once he woke at 4:50 and after trying unsuccessfully to get him back to sleep, I left him to cry and he actually fell back to sleep for a couple of hours and was then happy! This seemed to reset him for a couple of months (although recently waking time getting a bit earlier again but not terrible). So I wonder how this morning was? I think bringing baby down before 6, feeding, watching tv etc will all reinforce early waking. Also I think it's worth getting black out blinds.

@purplejeanie thank you, it’s good to hear someone else has done what we did!

the last few days we have ignored it, it’s gotten later (so more like 5.45 than 4.45) and he just whinge-cries for about 10 mins then lies back down. He then sleeps lightly until 6.30-7 and is much happier when he gets up.

we have black out blinds and the ones you stick to the window, it has helped a bit and is much darker than just the blinds but there is still a little gap around the edge so it’s not completely black.

I would say children change and their sleep needs change. Unfortunately waking early is fairly normal for small children, especially with an early bedtime (they may well have had 10-11 hours by this point).
Changes in amount of sleep does and can change quite dramatically too, and as they grow up they can go to suddenly needing a lot less.
I find these summer months hard too, we’ve had a lot of mornings of exceptionally early rising, although has been better these last few days when the weather has been duller. I think getting light early just kick starts their circadian rhythm.
Saying all this though, we don’t know your child and you know them best and while unusual you may find they need a second nap (maybe even just a 15 minute morning Power Nap in the car/pram) to get through to a better afternoon nap, and maybe a slightly later bed time to be able to then make it through to a reasonable (to you) wake up time. There’s no rules that say all kids must sleep 7-7, if 8-6, or 9-7 or anything works better for you, then you do you!

just a little update - I think we did about 3 or 4 days of ignoring him when he woke at 4-5am and called for us/cried, and he would go back to sleep after 10 mins.

for the last 4 days he’s not woken until 6.30-7am, and when he does he’s so much happier.

we’ll never know if it is just a coincidence but I’m pretty sure if we’d continued to just accept it and get him up at 4 or 5am he would still be doing it now.