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Feeding cues - unrealistic or am. I a terrible parent?

29 replies

Becka14587 · 17/03/2023 04:55

I have a 4 week old,am exclusively breastfeeding and I'm really struggling to follow the advice on feeding cues - to respond to early signs before she starts crying - especially at night . The NCT etc advice says to look for head turning stirring etc, but responding to these would mean I could never put her down to sleep, she'll always move about. I went to a local support group and the mentor there pointed out cues she displayed like opening her mouth, sticking out toingue etc and seemed to suggest I should be spotting these even through the night. There is no way, even though I sleep with my head next to her in a next to me crib, that I can see/ hear this, i keep the room dark with just a little nightlight and, if I do manage to be asleep ,I'm not going to pick up on small noises, and to be honest when drowsy I'm often confused and just don't respond quickly, not always clear what's real and what's a dream etc. So it will end up that she'll be starting to cry before I respond, and then, at least some of the time I'll change her nappy first so she'll cry through that - she will poo in the night so don't want to leave it hours and hours. Is it really that bad for her to get to a state of crying and how do people square responding to cues with getting any sleep at all?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
katmarie · 17/03/2023 17:05

On a side note, I am now capable of falling asleep almost immediately my eyes close. I think I developed that skill in the middle of all those night feeds. Or maybe I'm still catching up on the sleep.

Becka14587 · 17/03/2023 22:58

katmarie · 17/03/2023 17:04

It gets better. I promise! For us it was from about 6 weeks, I remember DS smiling at me for the first time around 6 weeks after a particularly horrendous night where I was seriously contemplating giving him back (god knows who to) and after that things steadily got easier. After that his feeds started to space out more consistently, and he slept for longer periods more reliably.

If you're not sure about the seat then definitely a blanket on the floor. We also had a baby gym thing, like this one: www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/toys/pre-school-and-electronic-learning/fisher-price/fisher-price-newborn-and-nursery/fisher-price-rainforest-music-and-lights-deluxe-gym-baby-toy/p/152437

DS was quite happy under that for 10 minutes. DD not so much, but every baby is different, you just need to figure out what works for yours.

Thanks, I have a few mats so will try that that 🙂

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Marchsnowstorms · 17/03/2023 23:17

With both mine at 6 weeks they slept better. I was desperate for sleep by then. I remember thinking I'd happily give my DS to anyone who would feed him in the night Wink a distant memory now. But I can now sleep anywhere if needed

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Lcb123 · 17/03/2023 23:20

Sorry but that sounds like load of rubbish. Of course she’ll cry if hungry. You need to sleep! And lie her on the floor - she won’t go anywhere…

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