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Parenting

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Just realised that my mother is a narcissist

19 replies

Legomum78 · 22/02/2023 06:16

I’m nearly 50, happily married and a mum to teenagers and I’ve recently had the revelation that my mother is a narcissist. I’ve realised and that I need to reduce contact with her and install clear boundaries for my own mental health. However, it’s complicated - there are some family issues (death of a close family member, another family member with a chronic eating disorder) as well as which she moved to live much closer to me than any of my siblings. I think one of my siblings is the ‘golden’ one and she has different expectations of me as her only daughter, as well as the fact that my father (also narcissistic) enables her.

Here are some red flag examples (of many) that stand out:

Once, I broke my arm at 8.45am when I was alone at home when my kids were 6 and 8. I called her asking her to come so I could go to A&E but she wouldn’t because she had a doctor’s appointment herself that afternoon and didn’t want to jeopardise missing it. I had to leave them with a neighbour and ask MIL to collect them.

She rarely contacts me and when I do give in and call her (usually from guilt) the whole conversation is usually about her. Sometimes as an afterthought she asks “is everything okay with all of you?” right at the end of the call. I always say that it is as I don’t want to give away too much.

She is explicit about really wanting to see me by myself (rather than with my husband or kids) and when I do she spends the whole time telling me what everyone else in the family and even her own friends are doing wrong, who’s a disappointment and gives big the impression that she always knows the right thing to do. She often tells me what I should do in different situations and she can’t see alternatives to her view. She likes to tell me that something is “the done thing”.

She wants to be the centre of everyone’s world and sets things up, manipulating others to get what she wants. Currently she’s working ‘behind the scenes’ on organising a Mother’s Day event for herself and has made it clear to my SIL that she wants a big gathering but doesn’t want to have to arrange it herself. I’m not getting involved and although I’ll send her flowers on the day, I’m spending the day on a trip with my own lovely family (it’s my Mother’s Day too, right?) and steering well clear.

A few years ago I told her that I thought she was depressed and needed some support. Never again. Her level of upset and anger was unreal.

I could go on as there are hundreds of situations like this and although it’s as clear as day to me now that she’s narcissistic, I can’t believe I didn’t notice before. She often says “I’ve done my bit” by which she means that it’s her turn for me/us to do things for her. I can’t continue with the expectation that I should ‘give give give’ without getting anything positive or supportive back in return. I don’t feel that I owe her.

Can anyone relate? Do you have any top tips about managing this in the context of the wider family? I don’t want to involve my siblings or their partners but also refuse to be pulled into attempts by my mother to manipulate me and make it all about her. I’ve got a great therapist to work with me on this but I’m dreading the fallout and family dynamics ahead.

OP posts:
Stclements115 · 14/04/2023 00:24

I’ve just seen this, and I RELATE SO HARD 🥲 I’m so so sorry (and shocked,
frankly) that you wrote this long post and got no replies. I’m happy to discuss this with you if you want to restart this conversation either here on public forum so others can join or in dms. Let me know. I can be crap at checking my mumsnet notifications but I’ll make a special effort to check ❤️ So much of what you said sounded so familiar to me.
Sending love X

IsolatedWilderness · 14/04/2023 00:29

I do relate. You just have to stand your ground, tell them how it is for your decisions, and let them have the tantrum. My mother has never done it again since I let her storm off to her room like a toddler and acted like it never happened.

MintyBinty · 14/04/2023 00:49

Low contact and grey rock OP

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 14/04/2023 12:07

Sorry but I think we might be Sisters!

My DSis was the Golden one for years but has fallen out of favour. M now takes it in turns to cast one of us as Golden (which really is a poisoned chalice) and the other as the Evil One. Personally I'd much rather be in her bad books, then she doesn't want to know me.

One thing I'd really recommend is talking to your Siblings. We only realised when DF was dying that M had been playing me and my DSis off against one another for years. We talk more now and have a much better relationship.

My M also hardly ever contacts me but keeps saying "I rang my Mother every day after my DF died". Yes but she was retired and I'm still working and have Teens at home (plus DGM was lovely and a bloody saint to put up with M's shinanegans).

My M also think she knows best with everything. We used to joke with DF that he'd put on her grave "What you should have done is...".

She is explicit about really wanting to see me by myself (rather than with my husband or kids) and when I do she spends the whole time telling me what everyone else in the family and even her own friends are doing wrong, who’s a disappointment

I'm with you on this one two. Don't see her alone, she just doesn't want witnesses. My M behaves much better if there's an audience so I usually arrange with DSis that we go together or visit her when my DA makes her weekly visit.

My M also wants all things about her but won't do anything for anyone else and never has (like feeding us when we were DC). Everything has always got to be about her.

Good luck @Legomum78. In brief I think my main points are:

Keep working with your Therapist

See how your DSiblings feel about DM

Keep talking to you DSiblings-don't let her keep you from having a relationship with them

Don't see her alone

& Ignore any badmouthing about you-I've long since cared what my M says, anyone who knows me knows it's not true.

leftitlate37 · 14/04/2023 21:43

Sorry to hear this....similar situation, also just come to this realisation, and it's TOUGH! Although I also feel so much relief in now understanding this lifetime of behaviour. Literally grown up feeling black sheep of my family, similar to u, i never have contact from my mother, I always have to call her..can leave it weeks until I cave and know she does it just to make herself feel wanted...she maintains she doesn't want to interrupt me. Always makes jokes about me to friends (stuff that's not true but makes me look bad) and laughs it off saying oh lighten up it makes a good story. I was really struggling with supporting a few close friends who were experiencing tough times at around the same, and my mother wanted help to organise a present for one of her friends birthdays. I said I'd look into it...she kept chasing me up via text daily (you know this was two months before the bday), and eventually I said I wouldn't have time to do what she wanted me to as was just not a priority for me whilst supporting friends. I got blamed for ruining her friends bday, because of me, this person wouldn't get a present and I'd be responsible for making her look bad to her friends. Also like u, father is enabler...."all she ever does is for you" "it would kill her to know you feel like this" "I can't say anything I'm loyal to her"
It's been a really emotional time to realise all this and have found me and my sibling have been played off and they were golden child, but also experiencing some.of the similar feelings....we just had very different ways of dealing with it.
No advice to give but going to go Ur route and find a therapist, and am reading books about it to try and understand how I can deal with this. At the moment for sake of my mental health I'm finding no contact is really helping but understand it might not be a long term solution.

Legomum78 · 29/04/2023 07:31

Stclements115 · 14/04/2023 00:24

I’ve just seen this, and I RELATE SO HARD 🥲 I’m so so sorry (and shocked,
frankly) that you wrote this long post and got no replies. I’m happy to discuss this with you if you want to restart this conversation either here on public forum so others can join or in dms. Let me know. I can be crap at checking my mumsnet notifications but I’ll make a special effort to check ❤️ So much of what you said sounded so familiar to me.
Sending love X

Thank you so much for your reply! It's encouraging to realise that I'm not the only one in this horrible boat that none of us chose to be in... two months later I've not spoken to her and feel calmer than ever before (except for some really triggering and toxic approaches she's made towards me in that time). I think going very low contact or even continuing the current no contact might be the way forward. Time and my own mental health will tell!

OP posts:
Legomum78 · 29/04/2023 07:41

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 14/04/2023 12:07

Sorry but I think we might be Sisters!

My DSis was the Golden one for years but has fallen out of favour. M now takes it in turns to cast one of us as Golden (which really is a poisoned chalice) and the other as the Evil One. Personally I'd much rather be in her bad books, then she doesn't want to know me.

One thing I'd really recommend is talking to your Siblings. We only realised when DF was dying that M had been playing me and my DSis off against one another for years. We talk more now and have a much better relationship.

My M also hardly ever contacts me but keeps saying "I rang my Mother every day after my DF died". Yes but she was retired and I'm still working and have Teens at home (plus DGM was lovely and a bloody saint to put up with M's shinanegans).

My M also think she knows best with everything. We used to joke with DF that he'd put on her grave "What you should have done is...".

She is explicit about really wanting to see me by myself (rather than with my husband or kids) and when I do she spends the whole time telling me what everyone else in the family and even her own friends are doing wrong, who’s a disappointment

I'm with you on this one two. Don't see her alone, she just doesn't want witnesses. My M behaves much better if there's an audience so I usually arrange with DSis that we go together or visit her when my DA makes her weekly visit.

My M also wants all things about her but won't do anything for anyone else and never has (like feeding us when we were DC). Everything has always got to be about her.

Good luck @Legomum78. In brief I think my main points are:

Keep working with your Therapist

See how your DSiblings feel about DM

Keep talking to you DSiblings-don't let her keep you from having a relationship with them

Don't see her alone

& Ignore any badmouthing about you-I've long since cared what my M says, anyone who knows me knows it's not true.

Thanks for the tips. In response:

I'm making good progress in therapy. I'm recovering more quickly to each triggering approach and becoming more decisive about what I will and won't do.

None of my siblings would want to become involved and our relationships are strong so I feel secure in those. They all know what she's like and have moved some distance away (while she moved to be near to me...!)

I won't see her alone but interestingly was told (when I said I will not speak to my enabling narc DF about my relationship with her) that she and him come together. Think she's frightened of me.

There's nobody she could tell who might listen that I actually care about, so this one's ok too.

Thanks for your help. Seems there are quite a few of us going through this!

OP posts:
Legomum78 · 29/04/2023 07:42

MintyBinty · 14/04/2023 00:49

Low contact and grey rock OP

Definitely. Currently NC which is bringing me peace!

OP posts:
Legomum78 · 29/04/2023 07:44

IsolatedWilderness · 14/04/2023 00:29

I do relate. You just have to stand your ground, tell them how it is for your decisions, and let them have the tantrum. My mother has never done it again since I let her storm off to her room like a toddler and acted like it never happened.

This is the first time in my life I've taken a stand and I'm starting (after 2months, in therapy and having tackled quite a few horrible 'bombs' lobbed my way) to feel stronger and calmer. Thank you!

OP posts:
Legomum78 · 29/04/2023 07:47

leftitlate37 · 14/04/2023 21:43

Sorry to hear this....similar situation, also just come to this realisation, and it's TOUGH! Although I also feel so much relief in now understanding this lifetime of behaviour. Literally grown up feeling black sheep of my family, similar to u, i never have contact from my mother, I always have to call her..can leave it weeks until I cave and know she does it just to make herself feel wanted...she maintains she doesn't want to interrupt me. Always makes jokes about me to friends (stuff that's not true but makes me look bad) and laughs it off saying oh lighten up it makes a good story. I was really struggling with supporting a few close friends who were experiencing tough times at around the same, and my mother wanted help to organise a present for one of her friends birthdays. I said I'd look into it...she kept chasing me up via text daily (you know this was two months before the bday), and eventually I said I wouldn't have time to do what she wanted me to as was just not a priority for me whilst supporting friends. I got blamed for ruining her friends bday, because of me, this person wouldn't get a present and I'd be responsible for making her look bad to her friends. Also like u, father is enabler...."all she ever does is for you" "it would kill her to know you feel like this" "I can't say anything I'm loyal to her"
It's been a really emotional time to realise all this and have found me and my sibling have been played off and they were golden child, but also experiencing some.of the similar feelings....we just had very different ways of dealing with it.
No advice to give but going to go Ur route and find a therapist, and am reading books about it to try and understand how I can deal with this. At the moment for sake of my mental health I'm finding no contact is really helping but understand it might not be a long term solution.

Thank you. Sad but encouraging to know that I'm not the only one. The hard thing about having a covert narc mum is that after years of 'training' I know I'm programmed to feel guilty and to wonder if I've imagined it or am overreacting. I know that I'm not and am learning to FEEL like I'm not now too. Hope you're ok and working your way through this too.

OP posts:
Hotfootgoose · 29/04/2023 07:48

I could have written this post myself OP. You are not alone. My older sis has now
gone nc and I am low contact, really because despite it all I just worry about them being old and alone. Everytime I go I take my dh, and we “pop” in and have a cup of tea and leave - 30 mins in and out. Boundaries are the best defence . Good luck!!

LadyWhineglass · 29/04/2023 07:55

How did you break your arm?

Righttherights · 29/04/2023 07:57

Ditto so many of these posts! I read the definition of narcism and it was tick, tick, tick!
My DM played me and my sis off each other since birth, has faviurites- daughters/ grandchildren-who circulate depending on who’s caved into meeting up with her. Anyone who ever challenges her ends up cast into outer darkness as they’ve ‘gone too far’ and ‘she’s not going to put up with it any longer ‘- “I’ve done so much for them”.
NEVER apologises! Could forget a grandchild’s birthday but if challenged will say they were really ill that day and create a massive fallout rather than say sorry.
Took me years to realise that you need to keep the information flow to a minimum and sadly just not seem them very often to avoid being damaged. Such a shame as often conflicts with worries that they are getting old and won’t be around for ever.
Stay strong! You’re not alone!

Nimbostratus100 · 29/04/2023 08:08

you dont like your mum

thats fine, you dont have to like her or have much to do with her

that doesn't make her a narcissist though

Legomum78 · 29/04/2023 08:11

LadyWhineglass · 29/04/2023 07:55

How did you break your arm?

Fell off a chair trying to change a lightbulb...

OP posts:
Legomum78 · 29/04/2023 08:13

Nimbostratus100 · 29/04/2023 08:08

you dont like your mum

thats fine, you dont have to like her or have much to do with her

that doesn't make her a narcissist though

Except that she absolutely is!

OP posts:
Legomum78 · 29/04/2023 08:14

Fran2023 · 29/04/2023 08:04

Head over to this thread: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/april-2023-well-we-took-you-to-stately-homes?page=3&reply=125595141

You will find lots of people with similar experiences.

Outside MN the website Out of the Fog is excellent: https://outofthefog.website/

Thank you!

OP posts:
bookworm44 · 29/04/2023 08:24

I went nc with my mother 12 years ago for many of the same reasons. All she cares about is herself and her bloody cats. She lives 10 mins away and it took her 3 weeks to come and visit her newborn granddaughter. When we got a new kitten she came over the same day. She hasn't asked why i stopped contact and seemed happy enough to just let me go. Not even birthday cards to my dh or dc. I am much less stressed now that i have stopped wishing her to be the parent i want as she never will be.

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