Planning a nursery room: how to fit everything in??

[Sera123]

We're expecting our first child at the end of May, and we're currently in the midst of 'shopping for baby' and getting our heads around the giant list of things we are going to need!

Today we've been trying to figure out nursery furniture, and it's turned into an almighty puzzle working out how to have a functional house that can accommodate the new baby and not make our lives any more difficult than it needs to be! Some of it is guesswork as to what's important and what's not, as we've not done this before, so I was hoping that you wise ladies will be able to shed some light on what is key!

Our situation:

We have a three bedroom house, two double bedrooms and one box room.

Currently we sleep in one of the double bedrooms and the other does double duty as guest room and WFH office. The box room isn't really used.

DH works from home three days a week, and is frequently on zoom calls so will continue to need somewhere that stays as quiet and undisturbed as possible, so moving him downstairs into a living area is not likely to be a great solution.

My mother, who normally lives abroad, is coming to stay with us for 6 weeks when baby is about a month old, to help with childcare. Other family from abroad may also visit in future but will be more short-term social visits rather than childcare.

The in-laws are two hours drive away so although maybe on a more intermittent basis, if they come to help or visit they'll need a place to stay as that's a long return trip in a day.

The box room is literally tiny, there's enough room for two out of a cot bed, changing table unit and a chair, but not all three.

We think we will have the baby sleeping in a next-to-me crib in our room for the first six months before moving to a cot bed. But there's not enough room in our bedroom for us + main cot so that will have to be in another room.

So we're struggling to decide whether its worth turning the box room into DH's office, and the guest room into the nursery, which would be easier juggling my mum staying & DH's WFH, but would mean that after 6 months or so once baby moves into the nursery, that would pretty much mean no room for guests at all. But that otherwise seems to work ok space-wise.

Do you really get guests much with a young kid? I'm assuming friends is basically no, (we've basically never stayed at any friends house with kids ourselves) but maybe family will, and esp those abroad and several hours away, it feels like it would be really inconvenient and expensive for everyone to have to book themselves accommodation every time they wanted to see us. We don't want to be totally isolated!

Or Option 2 is whether it's worth keeping the second room as-is, doubling as guest + office, and put the nursery in the box room.

My instinct is that the important furniture is the cot and the chair, and the changing table could be one of those cot-top tables? Are those hassle-free enough to use as your 'main' changing table? Would you have another table elsewhere? I'm wondering for middle of night feeds/changes, what's super important to have on hand and what's fine to have to go downstairs/in another room for? We could maybe squeeze in a little bit of storage but baby stuff will otherwise need to be in another room. Is that just going to be a daily unnecessary pain when we could just have everything in the same room?

Slightly tangentially, is one person trying to sleep while the other feeds/changes/settles baby in the same room an exercise in futility, or does it not even matter because nobody's sleeping in a house with a wailing baby anyway?

Sorry for the giant wall of text, but hopefully that explains our situation and hoping you will be able to shed some light on what's really key to get right and what is a reasonable compromise! We don't want to arrange everything in a way that's basically setting ourselves up to fail! Or if there's another arrangement that might work even better I'd be keen to hear your thoughts.

Thank you!

we had a similar set up but didn’t need room for guests so just changed the other double into the nursery. We had the cot, a chair, a changing table, a built in wardrobe and a single bed. I did use the changing table sometimes, I actually found after my section it was good to put his little baby bath on for the first few weeks rather than having to be on the floor. I would say the best thing by far that we had though was the single bed… not for sleeping in, but to lie him on. I put his clothes and pyjamas on every day on the bed rather than lying him on the floor. Your shoulders are already sore from adjusting to carrying this little person all the time so the bed was so so handy. I have to say the cot basically just sat there getting dusty and when he was a newborn I ended up dumping all the presents in it that I didn’t have time to sort through yet. You don’t actually need the cot up until they’re old enough to use it. I thought I’d use it for naps in the day to gradually get him used to his room but I found it was easier just to use the next to me. I’d say either do the box room as an office and set the nursery up like I had or leave the office in the double, do the nursery as the box room, use the storage space in the big room for baby clothes, maybe put the chair in there or don’t put the cot up and just have the chair, changing table etc up in the box room. The only thing I can see is further down the line the baby does end up taking up more room with toys so they’d probably take over both rooms if you didn’t have the box room as an office. Could the box room even be an office with a pull out bed in it or put the pull out bed in the nursery for your mum coming the first time then move it to the box room for emergencies?

Dont bother with a nursery. They don't need their own room for anything other than sleeping for years. I'd either do

• double room as office/guest room with box room for baby
• double room as nursery/guest room with box room office

Why not wait and see how dc is feeding and you are feeling? If you are planning on having baby in with you for a while, why not wait and see what rhythm you fall into. Everyone is a bit different, so what works for others may not work for you?

I ended up having dc in cots next to me for 8 months - way longer than planned initially but it was what worked best for us. They (twins) transitioned to floor beds in a box room at that point, so literally just beds on floor and nothing else to keep it safe. I never had a changing table - always just used floor / bed/ ottoman. I also never used the separate chair I bought .

We didn’t have a nursery. We didn’t have a changing table, though we did have a small table downstairs that we used as a changing table when the baby was very small. I don’t see why you need a chair in the nursery at all. When the baby went into her own room, there was only a cot in it. No other baby furniture.

Move the office to the box room, after 6m put baby in the other double room but keep the guest bed. When people stay put a travel cot in the office/elsewhere and move them into it when the in laws go to bed or earlier if the setup allows!

Didn't ever use the changing table or the beautiful rocking chair we bought for the nursery. But then we also never actually used the nursery, DD stubbornly decided she wasn't willing to sleep in a room by herself till she was nearly 2 by which point the cot was turned into a bed.it was basically just a place to store her clothes and gather dust for 2 years 😂

Ultimately I do think the bigger room will be best as your child's bedroom because once they start playing with toys they just have so much bulky crap it's best to have it in their room rather than in the living room. However you won't necessarily need that to be in place for the first year so could continue to use the room for WFH till then.

I’m going to go against most views here and say baby in box room. We have a similar family situation to yours with both sets of parents too far away for day visits. Our guest room is so valuable to us, family can come and stay to give us nights out or a weekend away, or just some help for a few days. They know they have a room here and so it makes it easy for them. We are now prioritising guest room as it makes our lives easier, people who have family close by for help won’t understand.

Did your baby sleep well?

We have a small sofa not a chair but we used it for night feeds/wakings and also to read bedtime stories etc

I guess if your baby sleeps through there's less point

We went for the office in the box room set up. Personally I would leave the nursery until they are 6 months. So move DH office now but leave the spare bed for your visitors that want to see new baby. Also then you have somewhere else to sleep if you need to sleep separately and share the night wakes with DH. Then once baby moves out of your room, get rid of the spare bed.

Typed a reply that got deleted, so briefly:

I breastfed 2 children past a year and didn't have a chair nor ever felt I needed one. Don't know many people at all who did.

Where are you putting the baby's clothes? We just had a change mat on top of the drawers. You don't need a special unit and I wouldn't bother with one that fits on the cot, just have a mat under the cot that you can pull out of that is all that will fit.

And per a similar question from a pp re no chair, no my babies definitely did not sleep well!

Slow down would be my advice. What works for us might not work for you but DS room has a cot, somewhere for clothes and a bed which serves a million purposes: I used to feed him on it, can be used for nappy changes, cuddles when poorly, story time, and an occasional guest bed (our mums actually share the room with him as they know DS very well, otherwise we put DS in the study in a travel cot). We have a 3 bed, two doubles and a smaller room we use as a study (wouldn’t describe it as a box room though) and I take the view that DS is here all the time and it’s his home, so occasional overnight visitors shouldn’t be prioritised.

Ours is nearly 2yrs. Have never used the chair, found it more comfortable to feed in bed. We usually play in the sitting room so just have clever storage in there for toys. I wouldn’t buy nursery stuff yet, wait until they’re about 6m and see what you need. Our guest room as been invaluable as my family live a long way away and I love to host them.

But feeding in bed only works if they are either in your room or they have a bed in their room, if they are in their own room in a cot, where do you sit?

I found my back didn't do well with feeding in bed anyway but I appreciate that's personal, I was fine with changing nappies on the floor which seems tough on other people's backs

But I do agree with just holding off on nursery furniture generally

I never used a changing table, eldest could roll from birth so changed on the floor or my bed. We didn’t even buy a chair, and I bf both for two years. Neither were bpgood sleepers so co slept a lot. I’d just use the box room for now, cot plus full size wardrobe with plastic drawers inside for storage.

Definitely get a changing table! Do a combined nursery and guest room, will work fine. Basically just a bed for a guest and some space in a wardrobe somewhere. That’s how we’ve done it.

Personally I’d put baby in the double room with a cot for them and a sofa bed for guests. Get a travel cot and when you have people staying, baby comes in with you.

I wouldn’t be without a chair (sofa works just as well) for the pre bedtime feed but I bottle fed which is I imagine less easy in bed than breastfeeding. I also sit in it to read bedtime stories. Changing table, a padded mat is fine. You can put it on your bed or the sofa to save your back in the early days but once they’re rolling then the floor is safest.

Don’t bother with changing table.
I did love my rocking chair with dd1 but we gave it away and I didn’t bother with dc2 and coslept for 2 years instead. So either way can work.

I recommend getting a really high quality pair of nursery blackout curtains, fab for nap time and light summer evenings.

I’d use the small room for the baby for now.

DH also needs to ask his office to buy him a good pair of Bluetooth noise cancelling headphones. You can’t really stop the crying entirely, even if you are the most responsive mummy in the world.

We didn't put our cot up for about 6 months as baby wouldn't be using it. We had changing table, drawers and chair in box room. Then when baby was ready took out the chair and put in cot.

You don't really need a specific room for the baby. You won't spend time in there. Change table = pretty useless. Even if you have a bad back, you can change them on chest of drawers or any higher surface if you can't bend down. Cot should be in your room (or whatever they will sleep in) for the first 6 months. Maybe a wardrobe to store their clothes and any little bits you want to put away but that's about it. I'd have a wardrobe (for baby, or some kind of clothes storage) and desk (for your husband) in the box room so he can work in there and if he can't be disturbed you can just grab a handful of clothes in the morning and put in your room. Bigger room can be the guest room. You can re-evaluate when ready to move the baby to their own room - fwiw mine never moved until well over a year so there was plenty of time to figure it out.

Babies actually need very little stuff. A changing mat, baby grows, a sling, a pram and a changing bag, a tube of metanium, calpol, a baby chair (those old fashioned ones that are just metal wire covered in fabric are way better than the fancy ones. Maybe get two. I had one by the loo and one that went between the kitchen and the living room.

We just had a changing mat, my friend had a beautiful changing table in her upstairs nursery but actually ended up keeping a mat downstairs as moving upstairs was very painful. I preferred changing on the floor as at some point they do start rolling.

Maybe get a next to me crib and a mat, although we ended up cosleeping and the next to me crib just became a bedside table.
My mates kid grew out of the next to me crib by 4 months though he was a very big baby though.

I'd hold off buying a bigger cot until you know what your needs are. My eldest moved into ones with bars but my youngest was too good at climbing to go into that safely so went straight into a little bed as once they start climbing.

When they get older I'd give them a bigger room as it's easier if they can store all their toys and things in their own space but I wouldn't worry about that now. If you're keen to decorate I'd do the box room as a home office but I'd keep both rooms fairly neutral/ adult in the mean time.

How exciting! Good luck.

We have 2 doubles and a box. In your situation I would do box room as office and baby in second double.

(we have 2 older kids in second double, box room was office, now office is in garden and baby is in box room).

In our baby’s box bedroom we have:
cot
sling bookcase
great little trading co cube shelving which holds all her clothes and toys (this one www.gltc.co.uk/collections/cube-storage/products/abbeville-long-shelf-unit-white )
change her on the floor (have never had changing unit for any of the 3 kids)
lots of wall things - shelves, hooks etc but mainly for decor

Obviously doesn’t hold ALL her toys - most are downstairs - but she has a selection in her room.

we we’re lucky that ours slept through the night by 3m. Before that they were in a Moses basket by the bed, and just picked them up to feed in bed. When they’ve been ill and in their own room, I’ve just brought them in to bed for a quick feed. Now they just have water so they administer it themselves in the cot.