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Original poster

Pointy ears - to splint or not to splint. What would you do?

56 replies

cherishlia · 10/04/2022 15:55

My DS has adorable little pointy ears, he's now nearing 18 weeks and they're exactly as they were at birth (they haven't unfolded or anything). I didn't take much notice until someone pointed it out, and so I found EarBuddies - an ear splint that reshapes the cartilage (completely noninvasive). I ordered some ages ago that arrived when he was 8 weeks old... since then I've been umming and ahing about whether to use them or not. Is it the right thing to do? I absolutely love his ears, but is he going to? Is he going to resent me for not changing his ears? Is he going to resent me for changing something about his body? Is he going to be teased/bullied if I leave his ears be? How am I to know... but I do know that children can be extremely cruel. If I leave them and down the line he asks for surgery due to bullying etc, it's going to cost a whole lot and hurt a whole lot.

I want him to love himself and everything that makes him unique, but realistically I'm being too optimistic, right? I've looked at it from my own perspective (though I am a highly self-conscious individual who lacks self love and confidence), and I'd have wanted my parents to use such a product to reshape my ears.

Can I have some outside thoughts on this? I've attached photos of his ears. Also, anyone who has experience with EarBuddies, I'd much appreciate any comments and advice. Thank you all in advance.

Pointy ears - to splint or not to splint. What would you do?

OP posts:

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BourbonVanilla · 10/04/2022 18:02

Cute ears, leave them be.
Why would you try to reshape a baby's body, unless it's causing health issues.

SirSamVimesCityWatch · 10/04/2022 18:04

God no. Cosmetically reshaping a body part, on a baby?? Absolutely no way.

Anyfeckinusername · 10/04/2022 18:15

Oh! I’d forgotten my son was born with the top of his ear golden over like when you put a fold on a page in your book! He was a really big baby and overdue and his poor ears obviously has no room.

I could fold them back up and they’d pop up but would pop back down!

He’s six now and his ears are totally normal!

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Anyfeckinusername · 10/04/2022 18:16

*folded over

Movelikewater · 10/04/2022 18:20

So heartened to read these responses. Totally agree your baby’s ears are just gorgeous, your instincts seem right. I too would leave well alone.

Both my kids had umbilical hernias when born. Their insides poked out of their tummy buttons so far it looked like another limb was beginning to grow. I researched operations and thought about long term impact, worried myself sick. GP reassured me the muscles would tighten as they grew - which they did. Both kids now have sweet outie buttons, which will probably look completely unexceptional after puberty and thank god I didn’t try to do anything drastic.

I know an adult with ears like this. I think they look really cool on him.

minmooch · 10/04/2022 18:26

No experience of this but his ears are gorgeous. Please leave them well alone.

SW1amp · 10/04/2022 18:32

DS2 had similar ears
We started with EarBuddies when he was 4 weeks
The instructions said it will take as long to correct as they are old - ie 4 weeks of splinting at 4 weeks old

We did it but it made absolutely no difference
The splints were impossible to keep stuck in place, DS hated HATED them being reapplied, and the stupid hat that came with the kit was always slipping off

We gave up after 6 weeks, and I still feel a bit cross at what an absolute waste of money the kit was..!

Ethelfromnumber73 · 10/04/2022 18:36

Ditto re the horrendous ear buddy experiences. And my child had them on during a hot summer and developed an awful skin infection under the tape. Several years on and I've absolutely no idea what I was thinking.

TabithaHazel · 10/04/2022 18:47

My 5 old has 'pixie' ears and I'd never though of trying to change them, in fact before I'd read this thread I didn't even know that was a thing! The only thing you should do about them is let them be - I actually am quite shocked you are even considering a purely cosmetic procedure on your very young child, non invasive or not.

SamMil · 10/04/2022 18:51

How often have you actually noticed somebody's ears? I wouldn't change something minor like that just for cosmetic reasons.

Bullies will bully whether there is reason to or not, unfortunately. I don't think changing your son's appearance to try to appease them is a good idea.

PaperDoves · 10/04/2022 18:53

Joining the chorus of leave them be. My son and I were both born with pointy ears, and I was so sad when my son's rounded out. They looked so cool, like he was part elf.

Musicandcheese · 10/04/2022 18:56

I would leave them alone since they are not causing any health problems. I can't imagine much, if any, teasing about ears, and any that happens should be dealt with at school.

Tiredmum12389 · 10/04/2022 18:58

I tried ear buddies when one of my daughters was a baby. I was so worried about her ears making her a target for bullies. They didn't work, despite using correctly. She hated them being on and you have to tape them to babies head. I was worried that I had taped them on wrong as you have to splint the inside of the ear too, and I worried it hurt her or was molding the ear wrong.

So in hindsight I wouldn't have wasted my money, or time, or shaved her poor little head.

His ears are lovely xx

LeftFootForward · 10/04/2022 19:01

His ears just look like typical cute baby ears to me. I genuinely can't see an issue. If he grows up and hates his ears he will have hair to cover them anyway 🤷‍♀️

SnowyPetals · 10/04/2022 19:01

My DS has this. He is 11 now and I don't think a single one of his friends has even noticed, let alone commented. I would leave them - don't forget it will be less noticeable once he has more hair.

babster · 10/04/2022 19:04

Leave them. Dd has one like this - she calls it her elf ear and is very proud of it.

Sewannoying · 10/04/2022 19:21

I have slightly pointy ears. I was bullied as a child, but never for my ears, and I didn’t even know I had unusually shaped ears until DH mentioned it. Leave them alone!

Original poster

cherishlia · 10/04/2022 20:59

I'd like to add that the only reason I had even been considering doing such a thing, is because the first person to comment on his ears - his father - said they were a deformity (I do not see it this way) and he looked into "corrective" methods. Since then it has been on my conscience and I subconsciously take notice of everybody's ears and think about it way too much - I am aware that this is ridiculous. However, his father is the person who originally put this on my radar, since then a few others have lightly commented on his "elf" ears.

I absolutely adore his ears and do not want to change them. On the other hand, people have said that they're cute now, but only because he's a baby... I'll always love his ears, but remarks like these worry me.

If I were to go ahead with the splints, I fear that this could potentially come back to bite me, because I'll have unintentionally taught him that he wasn't perfect the way he was when he was born, that he had a "problem", and that he needed to change to fit in and be acceptable (as someone stated in the replies). I don't want to instill that in him before he's even said his first word.

I'm sure like those who have had experience using EarBuddies, in the future I'll be baffled as to how much I've overthought this. Good ol' hindsight...

Thank you all.

OP posts:

Onceuponachime · 10/04/2022 21:17

Ask op, be aware that his ears will likely change themselves. Babies ear cartilage is so so soft. It will harden up as he gets older and with this, you may fine the ears will sort themselves out a little . They definitely don’t always stay exactly as they were when born.

Kind0fABigDeal · 10/04/2022 21:18

Just thought I'd mention that my ds had ears that started to really stick out a few weeks/months after birth. Didn't know you could even splint them or anything so didn't think about it. He's grown into them now and they're sort of hidden by his hair anyway.

But I wanted to say that no-one's even mentioned it except a really nasty man (about 70+) in a cafe who saw him in a pushchair when he was about 2 and said 'out of the way, big ears'. I know it's stupid but that really upset me (for a short while)! So I guess people who are arseholes are always going to be arseholes!

Sorry your baby's father made such a comment. We did worry about something else on my DS when he was born but we were more concerned than worried about how he looked.

Ratatoo · 10/04/2022 23:16

I would use them

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/04/2022 23:22

his father - said they were a deformity

His father sounds like an arse. You will have to mitigate some of that venom if he's around.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 10/04/2022 23:28

His father is an arsehole.

Please don't change your baby's uniqueness to conform to the views of arseholes.

Sunnytwobridges · 11/04/2022 00:37

I would definitely use the ear buddies

Lurleene · 11/04/2022 00:46

I had ears like that when I was born, they weren't like that by the time I am able to remember anything. I just grew out of it. It is a sweet story my family have mentioned a few times over the years.

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