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Parenting

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Original poster

5 year old pooing himself on purpose

31 replies

JennetHumfrye · 11/03/2022 17:45

DS has been potty trained for 3 years and apart from the occasional accident he has been fine with going to the toilet.

Recently he has started pooing himself whether it be at home or at school, where he sometimes goes through the day with poo in his pants. He isn't unhappy, loves school and is a very healthy little boy. For some unknown reason he has just decided that he doesn't want to go to the toilet and would rather pop himself. He takes himself off for a wee no problem.

I just don't know how to navigate this. I have tried praising him when he does decide to use the toilet. I have tried bargaining with him and explaining to him why it's not nice to have poo stuck to your bottom and clothes. Nothing seems to help. I can wait it out and accept that it may be a phase and hope he snaps out of it, but is that the right thing to do.

I am tiring of having to clean up the aftermath and really want this to pass. Has anyone ever experienced this with their child and is there anything I can try to help get him back on the toilet?

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Duracellbunnywannabe · 11/03/2022 17:46

Take a look at the ERIC website.

Moody123 · 11/03/2022 19:05

Following as I could have wrote this !

nocoolnamesleft · 11/03/2022 19:07

99 times out 100 is a sign of constipation. Definitely agree with having a look at the ERIC website: www.eric.org.uk

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Then you might like threads about these subjects:

5 year olds Families General parenting Potty training

Original poster

JennetHumfrye · 11/03/2022 19:22

He's definitely not constipated judging by what's in his pants and the regularity of it! Sorry to be graphic. I am looking at the ERiC site now.

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Original poster

JennetHumfrye · 11/03/2022 19:23

@Moody123

Following as I could have wrote this !

It's nice to know it's not just me. I have. I have no idea what's changed to make him start doing this.

I've just bathed and put him to bed and his poor bottom is sore. I've had to get the Sudocrem out!

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PaddlingLikeADuck · 11/03/2022 19:31

He's definitely not constipated judging by what's in his pants and the regularity of it! Sorry to be graphic.

When children are constipated they often suffer from what it called overflow. This is where they have frequent runny-ish bowel movements which occur when watery stool matter flows over the actual point of the main blockage.

A lot of people believe constipated to mean that the child isn’t opening their bowels at all when actually it’s much more complex than that.

It might be worth looking in to it and/or having a GP look him over.

nocoolnamesleft · 11/03/2022 22:51

Constipation induced accidents are of overflow diarrhoea (leaking past the blockage) so are of sludgy consistency. Seriously, have a look at Eric.

danni0509 · 11/03/2022 22:53

Yes constipation isn’t what you think with overflow. Look at Eric website.

Constipation isn’t always rabbit droppings!

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 11/03/2022 22:53

He's probably constipated as pps have suggested.

Original poster

JennetHumfrye · 11/03/2022 23:49

I wish it was constipation as I could look to treat that. The stools aren't watery or sludgy at all. On the poo scale they are a 4. Well formed and solid.

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lilyfire · 12/03/2022 00:02

Do you think reading Poo goes to Pooland with him might help? Think it’s available online.

Gloomandglow · 12/03/2022 00:05

I sympathise, we were going through similar with youngest DS (5) only a month or so ago. Like your son he was previously going to the toilet no problem but started having poo accidents at home and even a couple of times at school.

We seem to have solved it by using marbles in a jar - every time he poos in the toilet he puts a marble in a jar. It became a game and something to focus on. When he got 10 marbles in the jar he chose a treat. I realised today that he's not had an accident for a good couple of weeks.

Cheesybiscuits01 · 12/03/2022 00:26

Honestly could still be constipation. Speak to your gp. I'm about a year into a similar journey. Push fluids and sit on toilet for 3 mins after every meal.

Original poster

JennetHumfrye · 12/03/2022 16:53

Thanks for all the suggestions. Today has been horrific. He has pooed in his pants three times and just wet himself while he was playing on the carpet. I'm at my wits end.
He has also been for two toilet poos. Can it be really be constipation? It's not watery or hard. It's just normal poo but it's been five times today. He isn't unwell so have no idea what is going on.

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Geneticsbunny · 12/03/2022 17:07

Yes it could be constipation. Especially if he is weeing himself. A hard blockage further up can make it harder to tell if they need to go.

Original poster

JennetHumfrye · 12/03/2022 17:10

Right I shall make an appointment with the GP on Monday. Until then I shall buy a bumper pack of plain pants and wipes! I really hope we can get to the bottom of it (pun unintentional).

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CottonSock · 12/03/2022 17:11

Please don't assume he's doing it on purpose. I've been on a long and difficult journey with this. I was initially shocked my dd was pooing her pants and not even noticed. I mean it's just odd right?
It was encoperesis. Overflow from constipation. It was smelly and gritty soft poo.
It took 18 months to resolve and needs a gentle gentle approach with medication and professional help.

CottonSock · 12/03/2022 17:13

And yellow metanium works wonders on a sore bottom.

Lesina · 12/03/2022 17:13

ERIC website, it’s a game changer.

jessycake · 12/03/2022 17:15

He may be embarrassed about using the school loos for a poo , so is trying to hold it in all day with inevitable results .

LethargeMarg · 12/03/2022 17:17

If he's constipated the anus can actually be pushed open a bit by all the poo in the bowel so he won't have much sebstation of the poo coming out so won't be ache to control it . Make sure he's eating lots of high Fibre foods (not to many bananas) and drinking lots of clear fluids and encourage him to try for a poo twenty mins after every meal . Eric website is really good look at things like positioning on the toilet as well.

Original poster

JennetHumfrye · 12/03/2022 17:21

@CottonSock

Please don't assume he's doing it on purpose. I've been on a long and difficult journey with this. I was initially shocked my dd was pooing her pants and not even noticed. I mean it's just odd right? It was encoperesis. Overflow from constipation. It was smelly and gritty soft poo. It took 18 months to resolve and needs a gentle gentle approach with medication and professional help.

I'm sorry to hear you have been through this. You are quite right. I shouldn't assume he is doing it on purpose, especially as its out of character. I will get my son checked over by the GP and will be gentle when I talk to him about it.

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SparklingLime · 12/03/2022 17:21

It’s concerning that you assume he’s doing tis “on purpose”. Why would you think that? As others have said, it can be quite complex with loss of sensation etc.

Blossom64265 · 12/03/2022 17:24

If it’s happening that frequently, it’s likely medical, not behavioral. I’ve known of several kids who dealt with it, all little boys his age which makes me wonder if that isn’t a coincidence.

Original poster

JennetHumfrye · 12/03/2022 17:37

@SparklingLime

It’s concerning that you assume he’s doing tis “on purpose”. Why would you think that? As others have said, it can be quite complex with loss of sensation etc.

Why is it concerning that I think that? I didn't jump to the conclusion that there is something medically wrong with him because he says he feels fine and isn't unwell. I thought it may behavioural and that it was a reaction to something. I have since learned from other posters that may be constipation so will get him checked out. I think it's odd you are concerned!

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