2y10months - family size bag of jelly babies

[MummyBoss86]

I turned up to mum's house yesterday (she'd had the kids all day for me as usual on a Wednesday) and my daughter (3 in June) was sat polishing off a family size bag of jelly babies.

My daughter is tall for her age but when last weighed by the Health Visitor 6 weeks ago, she was classed as Overweight. Admittedly she was only just tipping into the red, but still I took that as a warning sign. My daughter has always loved her food and is known in the family for her sweet tooth. Mum knows about the BMI thing and whilst she said the H.V was being a bit over the top when I mentioned it to her (!) she said she would cooperate and keep an eye on daughter's food intake.

When I told mum yesterday that a 2 yo should NOT be eating a family size bag of sweets, her response was "oh well I'm not raising them to your standard so best you have them yourself then". I would happily put them in crèche the extra day but Mum insists and she knows she'd only be cutting her nose off to spite her face if I did actually take them back the days she usually has them.

Mum insisted that the bag of sweets were all she'd had. When I got in to the car, I noticed my daughter had chocolate all around her mouth. I asked what she'd had and she shouts with glee "choccy buttons mummy!!".

I am fairly relaxed and totally GET that kids will be treated at grandparents' houses. Earlier that day at 11am mum had taken them out to a farm for a drive through chocolate milkshake.

So I make that: eggs on toast for breakfast; sausage eggs and beans for lunch; choc buttons; family size bag of jelly babies. I'm 35 and that's way more than I would eat in a day.

Am I REALLY being unreasonable here?

I'm not planning on sending the kids there next week. We're not really on speaking terms after yesterday. Am I wrong to hold them back? The awkward thing is that the next time we'd then be due to go there is Mum's 70th so makes that whole occasion v awkward if I hold the kids back next week. What would you do?

My mum is like this - she says “oh I like to treat him!”

To what, diabetes?! We’re all obese in the family and I’ve told her I don’t want my kids being in the same state we are - I fight my weight constantly (I’m the slimmest out of us all, but still very overweight)

My DS rarely sees my mum now alone. It’s really sad but I just can’t trust her.

Stick to your guns OP - this is bigger than your mum and healthy habits for your DC is more important than her feelings x

So In one day that’s:

-drive-thru chocolate milkshake
-chocolate buttons
-family size bag of jelly babies

Is that right?

If she can’t see that is utterly ridiculous then no, I would not be send them back until she understood that.

Fine for day at granny’s to be a bit of a treat day, but that is way way OTT by even the most relaxed standards

You could ask her for advice on how to get DD to take up smoking as it's less harmful
to health than a lifetime of obesity.

Or you could just put her in the crèche for the extra day/s

@StopCryingYourHeartOut

From the comment she made, I think she might actually be finding it a bit much looking after the kids.

Why on these threads does the OP ALWAYS state that the DM/MIL etc ONLY looks after the children because they wanted to.
Absolutely nothing to do with the money being saved for you then OP on childcare. Yeah pull the other one!

Because it's often true.

The guilt and sulks I had when I tried to increase dd's days at nursery. I already had free, willing childcare from my own mum who always adhered to my rules on everything and always had a great, healthy attitude towards food.

Mil went to dh and told him I was cutting her out and he must put his foot down as dd was his daughter as well as mine and she had a right to look after her too. When she started school she used to ring me to tell me she was already near school so may as well pick her up.

One time we went out for a pub lunch after an event. Because it was a special occasion I allowed dd to have a pudding from the children's menu even though the meal portions were bigger than she'd normally have.

We were all stuffed. We went home afterwards and I noticed that dd and mil had disapeared. I found them in my kitchen with mil sneaking dd a big grab bag of crisps she'd brought in. This was only an hour after we had finished the pub lunch.

That was the night dd was sick. She was 6 years old.

A family sized bag of sweets? That's insane for a child that young.

Her judgement is seriously skewed. Or, do you think she left your DD with the sweets because she knows they will make her quiet for half an hour? Do you think she's struggling with them?