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Original poster

Dummies. Good or bad?

38 replies

yellow · 27/10/2004 15:57

What is the argument with dummies. Am 32 weeks pregnant and have decided I don't want to start using one on DD only because I don't want her to get in to the habit. My MIL thinks this is ridiculous (like she does with everyhting I do) and says "I will soon chnage my mind when she is screaming all the time".

What are the pros and cons?

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MarmaladeSun · 28/10/2004 21:35

I have to admit that I was a total snob as far as dummies were concerned when I had DD1 and DS. DD1 had a comfort blanket and DS sucked his thumb. I would always look rather sniffily at children with dummies and feel quite smug that mine never used them. Hmm...have I had to eat humble pie! DD2 has one now, gave it to her at about one week old as she wants to suck all the time and I was knackered. She only has it when she's tired mind you...I have a nephew who had his in 24/7 and developed a speech impediment through speaking 'through' his dummy. I'm a total convert now, and would say get one just in case.

WideWebWitch · 28/10/2004 21:36

Haven't read other replies but I think dummies are great. Both mine have/had them.

marthamoo · 28/10/2004 21:37

I think they are neither good or bad - they are like everything about parenting: they have their pros and cons, and you have to do what suits you and your baby. Sod what anyone else thinks!

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manutd · 28/10/2004 23:34

wish they had worked on my crying babies!
I do think they make toddlers out in the street look stupid.
Saw one one a girl who looked about six recently (she was wearing school uniform!)

monkeygirl · 28/10/2004 23:44

Another ex-dummy snob here who ended up depressed about how sucky dd1, who wanted to bf 24/7, was. She ended up sucking her thumb, still does at 3, and has made a mess of her front teeth. Ds1 was given one very early on cos he too was very 'sucky'. My experience this time round has been much happier, I don't let him have it unless I think he's tired as it helps him go to sleep almost instantly most times. The one big disadvantage for me atm is playing 'hunt the dummy' at 4am although he doesn't need it for sleeping in the car or his buggy.

miam · 28/10/2004 23:46

Would just say - dont say never!!

I never wanted my first to have one - really looked down on them, but like I did with so many of my preconcieved ideas, I gave in and it was probably the best thing I could have done. She (and I) loved that dummy! dd2 refused point blank to have one and sucked her thumb, which was much more difficult to wean off, being that it was inconveniently attached to her. dd3 did not use one but dd4 did, thankfully. The only real inconvenience that I could see was that they would lose them at regular intervals during the night - have 10 or so handy to replace.

bonym · 29/10/2004 11:29

You can get dummy clips to attach them to baby's clothing - I didn't use them when dd was very young as I was terrified of her getting strangled (although this was probably highly unlikly as the "ribbon" is nowhere near long enough to strangle a baby!). Fond them invaluuable later on though as it meant dummy never got lost at night and she could easily find it herself and stick it back in without waking me.

tomkitty · 30/10/2004 21:30

DD is 15 weeks and she has been using one since was about 3 weeks old to settle to sleep, at home and out in her pram. I intend to wean her from it when she's 6 months old. I probably would wean earlier but we are taking a long-haul plane trip at Christmas. I do worry whether I might be using it for the wrong reasons sometimes.

Don't let your MIL's rudeness affect your decision.

hunkermunker · 30/10/2004 21:40

MILs are great aren't they?! DS has never had a dummy but he's never screamed all the time. I bought two before I had him, just in case. I don't like them though so it would've had to get pretty 'screamy' at our house before I gave him a dummy!

Just see what your baby's like when she's born. Congrats on the imminent arrival! Oh and try to ignore MIL's comments - I find it's a good way to stay sane...

Distracted · 31/10/2004 08:47

My biggest worry with using a dummy is the problem of them only being able to go to sleep with a dummy and then crying every time it falls out during the night. I also hate seeing older children walking around with them.

With my first I swore I'd never use one - until I found that she would scream for hours at a time & I rushed out to get one. In fact she wasn't a sucky baby & wouldn't use it. Now I have a 3 week old who is extremely sucky & have started to use one with him when I'm desperate. Am trying to only use it sometimes & not at night (but I know that's easier said than done if you find i's the only way you get any sleep).

lulupop · 31/10/2004 13:18

Yellow, if this is your first child, my one peice of advice is: never say never about ANYTHING to do with parenting!

Before DS was born, I KNEW none of my children would have dummies, they would never get away with throwing tantrums in the street, I would not give them sweets/milk/whatever just to shut them up, and so the list goes on. Let's just say both DS and DD had dummies (only way to stop getting my breasts out every 10 minutes), and DS has a healthy toddler ability to throw one in the most public places!

Just maintain a diplomatic silence when MIL asks you anything about any of these issues, and go ahead and do whatever suits you and your baby best when the time comes.

And BTW, re the dummy/thumb debate, I'd be very pro dummy as at least YOU can choose when to remove it from your child for good. I sucked my thumb as a baby and still suck it from time to time today!

Lonelymum · 31/10/2004 13:24

No time to read this thread so it might have been said before, but I was dead set against dummies and none of my children used them, despite dh buying them for dd - she just spat it out. However, someone once commented that it was a lot easier to get rid of a dummy than it was to get rid of a child's thumb when the child got too old for sucking on a comforter.

Miaou · 31/10/2004 14:34

Both my dds were offered dummies, dd1 wasn't interested but dd2 was very sucky. However she discovered her thumb pretty quickly and dropped the dummy for that. We cut down on the thumb sucking as much as we could from an early stage (no talking with it in, eg) and when she was about three we asked her to stop sucking it during the day (we call it her bedtime thumb!) - on hte basis that we can't stop her sucking it at night! Her baby teeth were slightly prominent but her permanent front teeth are just coming through and seem fine.

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