Anyone else had a DC that won’t talk to adults?

[PurpleRiverIsland]

DC (age 6)won’t talk to adults unless he knows them very very well. He’ll talk to adults in the family only (mummy, daddy, grandparents, uncles and aunties). He won’t talk to his teacher unless she asks him a direct question. He won’t talk to neighbours at all. Not even hello goodbye yes or no or a wave, even if they talk to him directly. Same with previous teachers or headteacher or any adult who he would know but non family. It comes across as very rude when he won’t say hello or goodbye even if they talk to him directly. I’ve told him he can wave if he doesn’t want to actually talk at least that shows some acknowledgement but he won’t do that either. He is very chatty and sociable when playing with children and within our family. Has anyone else had this? My concern is firstly it comes across very rude, secondly if he needs something he doesn’t ask a teacher or adult for it. Any ideas what might help him develop this skill a bit?

Hello I came across this thread as my 6 year old son at the moment is exactly how you described your son. I’m just wondering have things improved? Thank you

Rude is in the eye of the beholder, children and adults don't owe anyone a hello (, especially girls)
HOWEVER having said that to answer your question have you considered autism or selective mutism. Or even "PDA". Is always good to rule things out, but it may just be how his personality is.
Firstly support him and secondly role play is a good one to try, and also eg at home you can just say "you can say x if you want" whether it's hello or thank you or whatever and be flexible on whether he does it or not that day.
You can also focus on positive the reason to say hello eg if you say hello they will know you are friendly, or if you say thank you/please they will be more likely to help you.

Oh sorry zombie thread 🙄

I know this is an old thread but going through this exact thing with my 6 year old son at the moment and wondering if it improved for you?

This just came up on my Threads I’m On and I see I commented in 2020. My DC are now y11 and y8.
The younger one, it turns out, has DLD - developmental language disorder. Worth looking into this and getting a SALT referral. For DS, his difficulty in finding the words he needs and in constructing a sentence verbally, contributes to his anxiety so he avoids speaking at times. He can’t manage a group conversation as he can’t get his ‘bit’ ready in time. He has 1:1 friendships that are successful and lovely. In a group he has fun (games etc) but doesn’t join in verbally. With adults now, he can talk to a teacher 1:1, and they prepare him well for participating in class (eg question in advance, or using his non-verbal skills). His written English is good (dyslexia aside!).

Older one has had periods of situational mutism over the years. She is overcoming this well and has managed work experience, responsibilities in school, participation in class and a small group of good friends who don’t stop talking. We do a lot of ‘rehearsal’ in a natural way, like I will say ‘hmm, you could say “I won’t be here in period 2 tomorrow because I’m at the dentist”’ rather than me giving the messages like she used to need me to.

Happy to DM.