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Parenting

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Original poster

REALLY funny/stupid things our parents did

50 replies

Rara · 10/09/2002 20:03

Have just seen a comment on another thread about our parents leaving us in cars while they went to the pub and/or supermarket, which you just would not do these days, but was very common when we were kids.

It made me think about something my friend's dh said the other week about car seats. When you were young, did you and your sibling(s) fight over who would stand up between the driver and passenger seat on car journeys? It was considered quite a treat!

I don't mean to be blase and I certainly don't condone that sort of thing now, but I wondered if anyone has similar stories that were considered the norm when we were being raised and you'd be publically strung up for these days?!.....BTW this is for fun....

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Original poster

Rara · 12/09/2002 14:36

I feel quite guilty when I think about this one... my dad brought me and little brother up from ages of 9 and 7. First summer holidays of single-parenthood he booked me to go on a "day camp" scheme run by the youth club. I had to take a packed lunch and he obviously wasn't used to this as we always had school dinners in term time. He (naively) asked for my preference in sandwich fillings and I thought I was great for the rest of the hols, showing off with my Monster Munch sandwiches.

OP posts:

Meid · 12/09/2002 16:16

I agree with Leese that these should be put down in a book!

My addition is that when breastfeeding my dd my mum said

"ahhh it reminds me of when I breastfeed you, except you haven't got a fag in your mouth" !!!!

mines · 12/09/2002 16:41

Meid

Didn't your mum get fag burns on her boobs?

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Mopsy · 12/09/2002 16:47

I can imagine her flicking the fag ash off your head

Meid · 12/09/2002 17:01

I must remember to ask her where she put the ashtray!

helenmc · 12/09/2002 17:39

my mum & dad always had a pan of milk on the stove to make coffee. Only one day dad used the wrong pan, and made the coffee with cream of chicken soup!!!

leese · 12/09/2002 18:38

Meid - ever noticed a flattish, circular patch on the side of your head............?

ks · 12/09/2002 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hmb · 12/09/2002 20:11

My Mother was always rather forgetful. She once tried to 'Brown' the gravy with Venos cough syrup. She also sprayed her hair with furnature polish rather than hair spray, and squirted hair spray up her nose, in place of decongestant!

My father once took a swig of denture cleaner, thinking that it was alka-seltza. The pink foam didn't give him a clue.

Is it any wonder that I am a little strange with parents like that

ScummyMummy · 12/09/2002 20:15

My greedy daddy once ate a rabbit poo thinking it was a raisin. The evil bit was that my mum, sister and I were watching throughout in fascinated will he-won't he horror/delight and not one of us made a move to stop him.

He also ate half a bag of fishy cat treats once, again watched avidly by the three harpy females in his life, before casting the bag aside with the comment "Hmm, those taste a bit strange. I don't think they'll catch on."

WideWebWitch · 12/09/2002 20:28

These are brilliant! I used to get sent for fags too at the age of about 6. "20 Consulate please" and the shop assistant would ask "are these for your mummy? OK, that's alright then dear." Love the wine story CAM and the steak one Leese and your mums driving Willow2. Priceless. And Rara, my dad's glam girlfriend had a car with a sunroof and us 3 were allowed to take it in turns to stand between the driver and passenger seats and poke our heads out of the sunroof as she tore around Bristol... Definitely wouldn't be allowed now but GREAT fun!

Bobbins · 12/09/2002 20:36

My Mum used to take me shopping with her, and because my Dad was such a porker, we never used to have desserts after a main. So my mum and I used to buy cheesecakes to eat in the car park before we left.

We did occasionally do a little bit of secret baking, with those packet mixes ( quicker to cook and hide). I remember we once made a scrummy chocolate cake, and my mum and I hid the leftovers of our guilty feast in the tumble drier. Dad was always good at doing the laundry and he put all our clean washing in on top of it. A horrible, stenchy, crumbly mess. That taught us! I think my mum just liked us having little secrets from him.

helenmc · 12/09/2002 22:17

oh and I forgot to mention the time my dad used 1001 carpet cleaner as shampoo (mum had left it on the bathroom shelf, and hadn't got his glasses on)...said it cured the dandruff a treat

Demented · 12/09/2002 22:32

My Dad (aged 67) has been driving my Mum nuts recently. He has been washing his hair with conditioner, it didn't strike him that there were no bubbles and has been using my Mum's roll-on deodorant as an aftershave, he says it is great!

Ghosty · 13/09/2002 08:23

I am chuckling louder and louder with each one I read!

helenmc - that reminds me of something that my dad did. He was shaving one morning and splashed on his after shave as normal. He thought it smelled a bit strange but it wasn't until he put his glasses on that he realised he had doused himself with my mum's nail varnish remover!

allatsea · 13/09/2002 09:54

These are some of the funniest things I've heard in ages.
When we were little my Mum and Dad used to take us 3 kids to Ireland for the summer. One of your treats was that our only childless uncle would take all of his nieces and nephews, and their friends to the cinema. So there were the 3 of us, 7 cousins and some friends, in a Renault 5! Oh, those were the days!

allatsea · 13/09/2002 10:02

I've just remembered, a few years ago the family went out for a meal. My sister was moaning about her window cleaner. He's the sort who seems to clean windows for the thrill of looking through them and perhaps seeing something he shouldn't, creepy. She then said that she's seen him with a really good looking woman walking around the town. The consensus was that this was not really his girlfriend, but more likely a 'lady of the night'. To which my Mum, who doesn't always pay attention to what has been said commented 'Well, he did me for three quid last week'! She still has no idea why we all burst out laughing.

Daffy · 13/09/2002 13:41

These really are fantastic...keep them coming.

I remember staying with relatives in the Lake district during the Easter holidays and my little cousin, who was being potty trained needed a wee. So instead of pulling over to let her get out and use her potty, she had to do it on her potty in the passenger footwell. When she had finished my Aunty would open the car door and throw out the contents!!! Can you imagine being unfortunate enought to be driving behind and getting showered with a 70mph wee!!

I distinctly remember travelling in the back seat of my dads car...upside down with our feet on the parcel shelf! How bizare!!

nics1stbaby · 13/09/2002 16:51

My step father had a horrible experience with Museli whilst he was still a single man. He was taking forever to get through this giant sized bag of the stuff. As he got nearer to the end he thought it started to taste a bit funny, but carried on. He got to the bottom where he found a little mouse which a knorred its way through the bottom of the bag and had made himslef quite at home. He thinks the raisons may well have not been raisons. He won't go anywhere near museli or raisons to this day, and who could blame him!

Willow2 · 13/09/2002 21:13

that get's my top gross story of the week award.

Rhubarb · 13/09/2002 22:34

My dh's mum used to make him and his siblings wear socks on their hands instead of gloves as she couldn't be bothered buying them any!

Willow2 · 13/09/2002 23:02

Rhubarb - he didn't burgle my flat about ten years ago did he? The perpetrator was spotted walking down the road, carrying my tv. He was wearing socks on his hands too. Sadly, nobody thought to stop him.

Rhubarb · 13/09/2002 23:06

Weird! No I can safely say that my dh did not burgle your flat Willow2, but am very sorry that you are a victim of bystander apathy. Did you have insurance?

Ghosty · 13/09/2002 23:13

Daffy, I remember going on holiday and my brother needed a wee - my dad wouldn't stop so my brother weed in a plastic sandwich bag which my mum through out of the window, right onto the windscreen of the car that was about to overtake! Nice ...

Willow2 · 13/09/2002 23:26

Rhubarb - yes thankfully. Although that in itself was another trauma. Insurance assessor "do you have a receipt for the stolen Persian bracelet that belonged originally to your grandmother?" Me - "No, she bought it in Persia a very long time ago". Assessor "Could you not contact Persia for an estimate?". Me - "No, Persia was a country that is no longer called that - oh, what's the point".

In fact, bystander apathy wasn't strictly true - but I was making a long story shorter - but as the original is even odder I will bore you with it.

We lived in a flat above a shop - we were halfway down the terrace. One of the chaps who lived in the end flat heard a noise in his garden. He went down to investigate and found our burgler hiding behind the gate into the garden. "Sorry mate" said the burgler, who was carrying my tv with socks on his hands. "I've just ditched my girlfriend - this is my tv and I'm trying to carry it to the cab company up the road as I need to get a cab home. Problem is it's too heavy - so I was just going to hide it here and run and get a cab and come back and pick it up." "Right," said the really stupid neighbour, "Would you like a lift?". Later, he confessed to me, "I thought it was a bit odd that he had socks on his hands, look he left one in my car". So much for Neighbourhood Watch.

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