Would you let your yr3 child go to the shop?

[ShinyNewNameTimeAgain]

Talking about New Years resolutions and Ds has just asked me if in 2020 would I let him go to the shop. During the week at home it’s me, 7yo ds1 and 4yo ds2 who is a complete handful. Probably about once a week I’ll forget something from the shop and end up dragging the dc’s back up there then take about 30 minutes in there trying to buy this one thing while ds2 runs away/ knocks things over/ tries to get in the staff only bit/ puts things I don’t want in the basket/ screams like a banshee if I tie him to myself or a buggy. If ds1 could go it would be a lot easier for us all and ds1 would get a certain amount of freedom.

Some basic facts

1. 7 does seem very young to let him wander on his own and he does look older for his age so I’d hate for anyone to say anything and him panic.
   
2. The shop is only about 100 metres away with no roads to cross but also round a bend so I couldn’t actually watch him from the window all the way from the house to going into the shop.
   
3. It’s only a small local co-op with about 3 aisles which makes me feel slightly better than if it were a supermarket, I also know the staff so I could let them know to expect him on his own on occasion.
   
4. I wouldn’t ever let him go in the dark or late at night
   
5. It is by the local college which has a pretty bad reputation. There are often kids hanging around the shop even way outside school times who make comments to any passing kids. They’ve never said anything to us but I don’t know if that’s due to kids being with me or just because they’re only interested in being dicks to older kids.
   
6. The cat would walk with him, wait for him and walk back with him again.
   
7. I can give him an old PAYG phone to carry in case he’s worried.
   
8. Ds is a very sensible child but also has his head in the clouds a lot. When walking home from school he has on several occasions walked straight past our house.
   

I haven’t said whether he can or can’t yet. Dh and I are going through a very rough patch where he refuses to discuss anything with me. So please pretend that I am your parenting partner and let me know what you’d do and why.

[GlitteryGracie]

Hmm how about starting to practise now, EG following him at a distance, getting him to collect items and pay for them whilst you wait outside the shop, walking as far as the bend then watching from there.
With a view to him stating to do this alone in a year or two. He's a bit too young still but not by much I think.

6. The cat would walk with him, wait for him and walk back with him again.

This made me laugh though, clever cat.... would it run for help in case of emergencies?

[Lou898]

Do you think he sees how stressful gong to the shop for a few items is and just wants to help you?
If so I’d suggest other ways he can help or why not still go to the shop with him but let him go in and do the buying thereby negating the “in the shop problems”. If he just wants more responsibility freedom find other ways as I feel 7 is quite young still. Not for the actual buying but the issues that could arise which he wouldn’t be emotionally mature enough to deal with.

[Spied]

No, I wouldn't.
He could be a target for the local bullies.ev

Even during holidays you can't guarantee they won't be passing by/hanging around. Could hurt him/steal his money/ goods.
The cat could draw their attention also.
Strangers
An accidental fall/anything
What if he saw a friend and was encouraged to go play with them? Could be easily persuaded? Lose track of time?
Becomes anxious or overwhelmed and wanders off?

[MetroMe]

One of mine went to the shops at age 5, one at age 7 and one at 11. This was when they wanted to and we built up to it.

They all walked to school independently from 7. But again they did it gradually and the youngest had the older siblings with him. It was none of the school’s business how they got there! Youngest is now 9 and walks home with 10year old sibling.

I’m so proud of their street smarts and it’s been good for their confidence. It’s also so helpful when I forget something.

[ShinyNewNameTimeAgain]

I do occasionally let him go in and buy stuff while I wait outside with ds2. At the moment he prefers to use the self scanners but I think it would be better if he used the actual till and spoke to the women in there.

spied all those things could happen whatever age he does it. If/ when I do let him go I’ll set a timer and if he’s not back in time I’ll go and get him.

[Lindtnotlint]

More important point. I really really want your cat.

[GreenTulips]

No wonder kids have no idea of money or change or costs!

If is that local I see no harm him running round to get a pint of milk.

[Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas]

You're saying you could spend 30 mins in the shop with dc2 - why not send dc1 In to get the actual items why you try to keep dc2 occupied outside the shop/in the entrance/choosing a small packet of sweets.
Dc1 helps and isn't in danger.

[banivani]

I would definitely, depending on child of course. I’d be worried about the teen bullies but not if I didn’t have some examples to worry about - sometimes people worry about nothing I mean. My son is 12 now and regularly goes to the local shop for me (500 m across two calm streets) but he’ll also go down town or home from town regularly (about 2,5k). That’s a lot more busier roads but sure the exercise is good for him. He does a sport once a week on the other side of town (about 4K) and he takes the bike there himself. I worried more about that because there’re a few tricky crossings but he’s done really well. However, taking the bus stresses him out - that’s the area we’re working on now so he can take it himself and understand the journey planner app etc.

[saraclara]

Only 100 yards away with no roads to cross? Yes, I absolutely would let him. I don't see the problem.

[TidaQuel]

My DD first went to the shop alone when she was about 8.5. She wanted to post a card to her grandma and volunteered to go and get the stamp herself. I let her as it was so unlike her, she’s usually so shy.

[TulipCat]

I don't think I would have let mine go that young, but I would love to meet your cat, he sounds awesome 😊

[Bogiesaremyonlyfriend]

I wouldn't let either of my dds go, they are 9, nearly 10 and 7. Both are very sensible girls but they are tiny and it's just not worth the risk. I don't leave them home alone yet either, maybe I'm over protective but they've a long time to be independent when they are older!

[SourAndSnippy]

100m away with no roads - I'd happily let him go.

[saraclara]

You don't let a 10 year old walk 100 yards on their own with no roads to cross @Bogiesaremyonlyfriend? Seriously?

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

No

[GaraMedouar]

I wouldn’t , DS first allowed out alone at age 9 or 10 I think. Yr5.

[JKScot4]

Have a practice run with you waiting at your gate, can’t believe pp waited until their DC are 11?!? Kids need to learn life skills.

[NellWilsonsWhiteHair]

Mine is the same age. I think it’s a yes from me. I liked the suggestions about building up to it.
I have left mine (from 6) in the flat before whilst popping to the shop for a pint of milk, which is also dangerous neglect on MN.

[lovelilies]

Well my 5 year old has been to ours with his 7yo neighbour, it's about 300m away across a cul de sac Road.

Ffs no wonder we have a snowflake society! There aren't random kidnappers on every street corner

[Michaelbaubles]

I let my 8yo go into the local shop on his own when I’m outside in the car. I consider this “training” because if there’s any issues he can duck back out and check with me. He’s also allowed to go about 100m round the corner to post letters for me, and to take the “short cut” hone alone while I walk the long way. So I guess if I had a shop the same distance away I’d definitely consider letting him go.

[poppy1973]

I wouldn't send a 7 year old up to the shops, especially if you can't see around the bend. Your list in your post also suggests that you aren't sure yourself. If you aren't 100% happy sending the 7 year old to the shops, then go with your gut instinct.

[puds11]

@lovelilies it’s not random kidnappers though is it? It’s a child hurting themselves or running across the street or some of the multitudes of stupid shit children do.

And I would strongly judge someone for letting a 5 yo go to the shop! Ffs!

OP I’d maybe continue letting him go in the shop whilst you wait outside and reassess at 9.

[Kuponut]

If the shop at the end of our street was still open I'd let my 7 year old go there now - unfortunately it's closed down and the next nearest one has some road crossing required - we're working on really instilling the groundwork to do that sensibly but it's a work in progress. If we didn't need to cross roads I'd let her now.

[TooStressyTooMessy]

I would but then I very lucky / glad that I seem to live in a safe, sensible place. Kids allowed to walk home from school from year 3 here. Actively encouraged for parents not to be in the playground after the first few weeks of year 3. They would laugh if you told them they had to wait until year 5, let alone older.

Totally normal round here to see a year 3 child in the shop alone.