Routine at 4 weeks...?

[ipfreeley]

Hello! I have a 4 week baby and am wondering when she should be getting into a feeding/napping/sleeping routine?

She isn't really in one now, just tends to feed, poop and sleep, and sometimes be a bit grizzly with wind etc. She has short periods of being awake (30-45 mins or so), but when she's awakes differs each day and can vary in length. She also only naps for long periods when held or in the car. If I put her down, she'll wake after 15-30 mins.

I do put her in her pjs at 7pm, but she stays down with us and just tends to feed/nap/want to be held until we go to bed, where she usually takes 1-2 hours to settle and we can put her in the next to me crib'- sometimes she sleep for 2 hour stints and other 3/4 hours.

She hasn't really gotten into a routine herself, there's no real structure and every day/night tends to be slightly different.
Would love to know when you got your DC into a routine and any advice you might give

^^ adding to that.
If their chest is warm then they are okay.
But.. if your chest is warm and your feet are cold.. you might be warm enough but are you comfortable. My LO hates cold feet
They are a mini version of you.

At 4 weeks your baby still has a tiny stomach so feeding is small and often.Also frequent feeding sets up your milk supply if breast feeding.
At around 8-10 weeks the can take more feed and often have more of a feeding,napping pattern.
Just go with it and rest when you can ATM.

I agree with you Trying. I would never fixate too much on routine because I know I don't necessarily want to sleep exactly the same amount every night, I don't always fancy exactly the same amount of food for lunch each day, sometimes I want to be active and other times I want to laze around...why would a baby/toddler be any different? And they sometimes struggle to tell us what it is they want so we have to be sensitive to their needs and what they are trying to tell us (which sometimes will be a mystery even with the best will in the world). My DPs always say "babies aren't robots" - they are not there to be 'programmed', they are just little versions of us, as you say.

@MeadowHay just a perfect summary! It's meant that my household is so relaxed and not too fussed about anything.

@TryingToBeBold I just want to thank you so much for sharing the advice “They are a mini version of you”. Ever since I read this when you posted it, it has changed my outlook and my parenting style. I was getting so stressed, I think mainly because I wasn’t in control. I’ve adapted your advice and it made perfect sense and relaxed me so much. Our babies aren’t robots as you said @MeadowHay.
Thanks both!

@Ch4r1o77e that's bloody amazing news!
I am so glad I could been of some help, it helped me so much and we are such a relaxed household.

Some quotes that have helped me are:
So often, children are punished for being human. Children are not allowed to have grumpy moods, bad days, disrespectful tones, or bad attitudes, yet we adults have them all the time! We think if we don't nip it in the bud, it will escalate and we will lose control. Let go of that unfounded fear and give your child permission to be human. We all have days like that. None of us are perfect, and we must stop holding our children to a higher standard of perfection than we can attain ourselves'

And

'Tantrums are not bad behavior. Tantrums are an expression of emotion that became too much for the child to bear. No punishment is required. What your child needs is compassion and safe, loving arms to unload in'

Both by someone called Rebecca Eanes. And both of which have massively changed our home life and our approach.
I know people who have feeding schedules and worry the minute baby takes 1oz less or more. Sleeps 1 hour less or more.
I'm glad I've took this approach so that things like that don't cause me to loose sleep at night