Abu to be sick of hearing parents whine about school holidays

[Bekstar]

Our kids are about to break up for a weeks school holidays. Me personally I can't wait to spend some proper time with my child. I'm lost when he is at school. Regardless of how well he is behaving I never wish he was back at school.
But what annoys me is the amount of posts on social media lately about how parents are dreading the school holidays, that they can't wait for them to go back etc.
These are your kids, not the teachers, yours, they spend 6 hours a day at school, as it is. But then you begrudge them having a little time to let off steam at home. Personally I had my child because I love kids and although I know school is important for him, I love the holidays and love to spend time with him. Because during school term time I only see him for two hours each night before he is asleep, we don't get much time to do anything and when we do it's normally homework related. Weekends are super busy as it is because it's the only time DS gets to see his grandparents so again we are limited to the time we get to spend together just as a small family. So when school holidays come I'm over the moon, I get to spend quality time with my child. But then I hear parents whine about how there should be less school holidays or that they wish they were back at school, it makes me pity their kids. These are children who have spent every day for weeks on end away from their families, and so what if they are exited and a bit playful because its the holidays. Make the most of it
My mum had 7 of us and still made room for more through the holidays. We always had friends round, cousins stopping etc. Not once did my mum ever complain, she always made sure to spend time with us during school holidays even if it was just over a bit of gardening or playing board games.
Instead of whining about looking after their own children, some parents need to rwalise they brought that child into the world maybe they need to spend some time with them. Don't just leave your child to entertain themselves and then wonder why they fight and squabble or scream and whine. Plan something to do with the that's fun. Enjoy the time with them. They will be back at school before you know it.

[popcorneveryminute]

OP get a life or a job...

This!

[Bekstar]

Firstly I don't work because I'm disabled and require full time care, my hubby and I normally provides the child care for other family members who do work, and I totally understand about work commitments. As for SEN my son is autistic so I'm well aware of those too, he struggle with routine but so long as he knows it's happening and you keep him informed we deal with it. First few days are hard for him, but wouldn't change me wanting to spend time with him. We keep a calender so he knows what days are school days and which are home days etc. So hw is prepared when he goes back to school or breaks up. As for feeling lost without him what I mean is I feel we don't get to spend much time together due to school as it is so I love the school holidays. We have his cousin a lot due to mum's work commitments, and yes it's a struggle as the two have varying degrees of autism and they clash a lot. But we deal with it. When I did work I dealt with it. As for money we don't have much and are lucky if we manage to go somewhere other than home. Maybe the occasional trip out if we are lucky. We spend time together at home, playing, crafting, gardening, being outside etc. My Sister works 40 hours a week but still rushes straight back minutes from work to catch up what time she has with her son. She tried her hardest to book her holidays for school holiday time so she can spend more time with her kids.

[Bekstar]

Yes I only have one of my own, but I do look after up to 4 others at times. Normally have 2 of them for majority of school holidays. As for the idiots saying get a job, I had a job it put me in a coma and disabled me long term in a work related accident but even up to then my feelings were the same, even when I had to get childcare myself, sometimes I still have to when I have to go into hospital for long periods of time. Work commitments mean you can't spend as much time with your kids it doesn't mean you have to feel justified not wanting too. Seriously. I think some of those saying get a job etc are beyond pathetic maybe one day your child will realise you cared more for work than them. I know I grew up hating my father for exactly the same thing, because he thought work was more important. I worked long shifts round my child long enough and I still cherished every moment I spend with him or his cousin. My sister now does the same job that nearly killed me to support her children. But she still looks forward to school holidays just so she can spend more time with her kids. She still rushes back straight after work whether she is tired or not to make sure her kids know she is there for them. When my child is with hers we have to be a constant referee, my child doesn't like high pitched noises her child makes them all the time. Her child doesn't like sharing my child likes to play with other kids. They have such varying degrees of autism that they can't be together for more than a minute without a meltdown. I still want to spend time with them. Even if it means having to spend the day been a referee.

[TimeToDash]

Tbh I didn't read the whole tome as I think I got the gist! I agree generally - I love having them home at the hols, and feel the opposite - sad when they go back! But I can understand it being a challenge for working parents because it's already a juggling act as it is and not all employers let people have all the school holidays off.

[megletthesecond]

At £22 per child for holiday club, that's why I hate the holidays. I'm paying silly money for them to go somewhere they don't really want to go. At least they generally mooch off to school without complaining.
And on my days off I'm just picking up their crap and referring fights .
I hate my job but am rather fond of my small mortgage and food so I need to work.
So I will moan to my hearts content thanks .

[halfwitpicker]

Hubby?

Ouch.

You'll need another hard hat

[TimeToDash]

Just read the title again: Abu means Am
being Unreasonable, right?

[FissionChips]

I think some of those saying get a job etc are beyond pathetic maybe one day your child will realise you cared more for work than them

Yup, my child will hate me for maintaining a roof over her head.

[Steeley113]

Having others is not like having your own at all I’m afraid. At the end of the day, they go home. You can’t enjoy playing referee, it’s exhausting and hard.

[Bigfathairyones]

I can genuinely say that I love the school holidays now because a. I’m off work and b. My kids are teenagers. I can honestly say that I have not always felt like this though and when they were young, it felt like being a permanent referee/slave/torture victim (where the torture was constant talking/shouting/whining/crying/questions/moaning about one of their siblings etc, etc) with absolutely no money either. Sorry OP but you’re BU (and goady)

[64BooLane]

OP if you have so many challenges in your own life it only makes you even more unreasonable to show so little empathy for people who struggle with things in a different way to you.

I love my children hugely and feel constantly torn between my work and family responsibilities, but we haven’t the money to meet our modest expenses without my work. It fucking tortures me at times. For you to suggest those of us working rather than spending time with our dc care more about work than about them is goady fuckery par excellence.

[Turquoisesea]

I think you are assuming that the parents sharing FB posts or saying it’s hard are telling their DCs this & in general I don’t think they are. I don’t enjoy the holidays because as said before my DCs argue all the time & are interested in completely different things. I don’t let them know I don’t like it though, just because I don’t enjoy spending time with them together doesn’t make me a bad person. It’s harder now because I work but even when they were small and I was a SAHM I still didn’t really enjoy it because it is beyond dull having to referee constant arguments practically 24 hours a day! Everyone is entitled to have a whinge, it doesn’t mean they love their DCs any less than you do. I just prefer mine when they aren’t together!

[64BooLane]

Although I do also love my work, when time allows for me to focus on it. So it’s not simple.

[freezerfoodyum]

Having read your update, you are still BU.

[Biologifemini]

I don’t have the annual leave so it is tough.
I like spending time with my child but I also need to earn money.
Holidays are fine as long as they are not too long.
I think you are being unreasonable.

[Gazelda]

Spot on 64BooLane

OP, I sympathise for your difficulties. I admire you for helping your DSis to be able to work while you look after her child. And the other children you look after.

But please, try to empathise with other parents who juggle different difficulties to you. And stop knocking those who may whine a little. Just because you don't do the same, doesn't make you a better parent (necessarily), or mean that they love their DC less than you do. Nor do their DC necessarily have. Less fulfilling upbringing than you provide to yours.

Anyway, what difference is there between parents whining on FB about how they dread the school hols, to you whining on MN about how parents who whine on FB piss you off?

[Notonthestairs]

Please do not suggest that working parents care more about their work than their children.
They are doing the best they can for their family. You do not get to sit on judgement on them.

You do your bit, I'll do mine.

[Bekstar]

Nobody said you shouldn't work and that's not what I implied 64boolane. I responded to those saying I should get a job. I've had a job and I still had the same opinion. It wasn't implied that anyone should give up work. As for those saying I can't enjoy refereeing no I don't I hate it expecially when some of the kids know my limitations and know if they get into a fight in a middle of trampoline then I'm unlikely to be able to stop them. But I never said I enjoy refereeing, I said I enjoy spending time with my child and no I don't always get to hand my DN back, sometimes his mum works away and that means I can have him for a week none stop. So yes it is the same. Although my own child has a different bond with me I can't switch off been Auntie to my nephew. I would do the same with him as my own I have him overnight regularly as my sister had mine when I was working the same shifts.

[SoyDora]

What do you want people to say? That you’re a saint?
People are allowed to moan about things. They’re allowed to find things difficult. As long as they’re not saying ‘I bloody hate having you at home’ to their children then they’re not harming anyone.

[mustbemad17]

OP i hope you never moan about anything, ever, in your life

[longestlurkerever]

It sounds like you have very involved GPs, OP, which does lighten the load. I enjoy the school holidays for about a month, then the lack of routine seems to really kick in and dd1 turns feral and I totally run out of money. I'd love more flexibility to have a few days off here and there rather than 6-7 weeks off

[Notonthestairs]

I'm just a bit surprised at the posters that knew exactly what it would be like to be a parent before they had a child - and therefore never need to moan about being a parent sometimes.
I had no idea. Honestly zip. Really hadn't thought much beyond delivery. And we had IVF so we'd had a long time to think it through but no!

[RainbowBriteRules]

Totally agree Notonthestairs. I had NO IDEA either. Had never babysat, no very young siblings or cousins, had only held a baby a few times. I had no clue.

[Turquoisesea]

You love the holidays, good for you. Some find them difficult. It’s not a competition. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. It’s doesnt make you a better parent because you love every minute of it.

[mustbemad17]

Ironically i worked with kids since i was 15...was always the go to in the holidays for parents. Still don't like long holidays with my own, for the reasons i mentioned earlier. I also hate other people's kids i don't work with kids anymore either so day trips out in the holidays are my idea of hell on earth even when we can afford them