Biting I don't think it's ok do you?

[Jzee]

Another baby of around 1yr old bit my baby who's about the same age on his finger really hard today. The mother whome I vaguely know, was sitting close by and when I told her that her child had bitten mine she replied' oh, she's doing that alot lately- she's teething'. She didn't apologise or tell her child off, but merely shrugged her shoulders as if it was an acceptable thing to do! I don't allow my child to bite me or anyone else and can't believe other people think it's ok? Do you think it's acceptable? What should I do if it happens again? Tell the mother or the child it's not ok or just walk away?

please excuse typos!

What we do with dd is simply remove anything we dont want her to have. It means we dont have to deal with no's at all whilst at home.
She therefore can crawl, rampage etc with no worries.
As for pinching - we tell her no gently or ignore it so as not to give her a reaction. They are far too young imo for anything else.

I would have done something similar to twogorgeousboys if it had been DD at that age. DD did have language at that age and knew what "no" meant if it was an instant thing.

I just think that with most children under about eighteen months, there is no point even telling them off because they have no comprehension of what you're talking about. You're telling them off not for their sake, but for the sake of appearances before another adult, and I don't see how that positively contributes either to your parenting skills or your child's understanding of the world - it's just propitatiating the God of Good Manners. As is apologising for it - like apologising for a cat catching a mouse. Kids do these things. Until they are about two, they can't register the fact that it's wrong and Not Allowed.

When DD was around 14m we went through a phase at nursery where all the little darlings were biting so all were experienced being victim and agressor. The child who bit was told "no biting" firmly but gently and removed from the scene for a few minutes. The "phase" (hate that word) lasted about 10 days and then stopped with no further incidents at a later date.

Going to go against the grain, but I do think that children of 12m plus are capable of understanding "no". I also think it's polite to apologise if your little darling hurts someone else's angel, regardless of age. I don't have a problem with making someone else feel better-but then I apologise if someone else treads on my foot.

At that age, I would have apologised profusely to the other mother (but expected her to be gracious and say 'Oh, no, no, no" and I would have removed my son and said 'NO". In fact that's just what I did do, and it did work. I didn't expect him to understand right v wrong or to understand it hurt the other child, but just treated it like puppy training - do X (ie biting) and you get undesirable outcome Y (having to go out of the room or be ignored briefly). I think it works, eventually for most children, but of course they are all different.
I wouldn't shrug it off, but then we've been here before on this debate....

Jzee, I don't tolerate biting at any age. They've got to learn it's wrong to bite so you tell them off. Surely if you don't tell a 1yr old off for biting but then tell them off 6 months later aren't you just going to confuse them?? If that child does it again I think I'd have to say to the mother no it's not OK. When I picked my dd (20 months) up from nursery yesterday I had to sign the accident book as she'd been bitten. Slap bang in the middle of her back a full circle of teeth, I wasn't best pleased!! Unfortuently I do think all children do go through a biting phase. Ds bit a little boy at nursery about 6 months ago now. THis little boy had bitten my dd so ds bit this boy back because he'd bitten his sister. I was so proud of ds for sticking up for his sister but I didn't let on to him I was pround. Got home from nursery, no Cbeebies, No biscuits, no bedtime storey. Just bath and bed and a chat about how naughty biting is and he must never do it again. Luckily (touch wood) he's never done it again he always says 'no bite, bite naughty' very cute!!!!!

Children don't need language to understand that biting is wrong. Although have to say its a damm sight harder to stop if they don't. DS1 (5, but with language of a 12-18 month old) is scratching and pinching like crazy atm. We can work on the behaviour.....

Although with this age group I don't think I'd be particularly bothered tbh. If it was me I'd probably apologise and have a "word" with mine- but more to keep the other mother happy to be honest.

I would always apologise to someone if my child had bitten theirs, surely it's just common courtesy?

I would say no to my nearly 1 year old ds, for similar reasons to twogorgeousboys, dd would be there and it's only fair.