Experience of Health Visitors?

[TeaandToast87]

What’s everyone’s experience with Health Visitors? Do you find they are useful? Do they visit a lot? I have a home visit on Thursday but not really sure why.

Mine was perfectly nice, normal and helpful but couldn't tell me anything I didn't already know from mumsnet. After the first few post birth visits I just went to the monthly weigh in clinic as and when just to make sure DD was following her curve.

Mine was lovely, not at all judgemental and was rather old skool by her own admission. I saw her 3 times I think, the third time she said she wanted to come back as I'd been diagnosed with PND and she wanted to make sure I was OK. On her first visit she noticed I was looking pale and asked if I felt OK, I had a few minor complaints so she phoned my doctors and booked an appointment for me. We had a really helpful discussion about PND and she persuaded me to see the doctor about that too but left it up to me to book that which was nice as she was helpful but not pushy or invasive. She paid me a lot of compliments and really made me feel like I was doing a good job. Lovely woman and great experience.

I only had one visit with mine because they are short staffed in this area, I didn't find it massively helpful, but I was still in a bit of a haze I think!

However I have gone to see them for weigh ins and advice at the local centre and they were very nice and helpful there

One visit soon after we got out of hospital then a check at 9 or 10 months, and I think we'll have another check at about 2.5 years. Otherwise I see them every so often when I go to the weighing clinic but don't generally discuss anything.

With my youngest I only saw her once at the 10 day check and then again at a routine development check possibly at 6months? She rang me the next day to check I was ok as I was a bit frazzled which was kind. DD was about 2.5 and DS2 was 6mths. DD spent the entire appointment running laps of the hall and shrieking which was awful. It wasn't normal behaviour for her at all and I was totally caught off kilter.

They always seemed lovely and helpful but there wasn't anything I really needed from them.

We had a mixed bunch

The first was brilliant. Really helpful, very knowledgeable about breastfeeding, a lovely lady.

Second I loathed. I only saw her a couple of times, but on one occasion I was totally frazzled, DS had an extremely uncomfortable medical condition (which ultimately warranted an urgent consultant referral, not that she was any help with that) and wasn't sleeping. I was exhausted and tearful. Her only advice was to dress DS in easier to manage clothes (he was in a babygro FFS). She never made any attempt to follow up and see if we were ok despite the fact DS was clearly a very unhappy baby and I was not coping.

Third was nice but seemed really overstretched and we obviously weren't on her priority list (tbf we had DS's medical stuff more under control then and were being seen regularly by a paediatrician so I see why).

The ones in our old area were awful - one home visit at ten days then clinics. I swear it felt like they had targets for how many things they could tell you you were doing wrong. Really undermining, didn't listen to a word I said - and I rarely saw the same one twice. Laughed at me when I said my partner was taking parental leave to care for our DS. Greeted me with "You're not pregnant again already, are you?" at the one year review.

I assumed all HVs were like this. Then we moved.

I couldn't have been more wrong. The new one is lovely. Totally cool about DS getting upset about being weighed. Very quick to offer support when I explained I was on antidepressants, and to make sure I knew what support was available. Actually listened to what I said. I would happily ring her with any concerns - with the old team, Google would have been more reliable, frankly.

So it varies! I wish they were all like our current one - it's a very valuable service when done by the right people.

Didn't have much to do with health visitors for DD1.
We moved area before having DD2. Health visitor when she was born was amazing. She pushed the GP to refer DD2 to paeds for static weight, paeds then diagnosed a complex heart defect. HV supported us through it all till we moved again recently. Not even seen HV in our new area despite me asking for a visit.

Mine was lovely, pitched it just right in terms of help and support without being pushy. She could easily have written me off as well educated and with decent financial resources and therefore able to cope fine - instead she realised I was balanced on the edge of depression and really needed the visits for reassurance as much as anything.

First one we had with DD (first and only DC) was so bad I would have complained if I'd felt energetic enough. She weighed her, panicked that she'd dropped too much weight (no feeding issues) made us go straight back to hospital that afternoon and rang the pediatrics ward in an agitated way right in front of us. She also made us get checked for tongue tie when DD wasn't struggling to feed, jaundice, which was negligible when tested and advised me to ask to stay in at the hospital. I was bawling my eyes out at the thought of going back in (three days in hospital after an ELCS) and we were so shocked as thought nothing was wrong.

Turned out nothing was wrong. DD's weight was so much higher at next weigh in it invalidated the weight she'd given so her scales were wrong or she read it wrong and we were given some reassurance and sent packing from the hospital. I was so angry. Total sensationalist crap.

Had lovely HVs after that but I never took anything they said much to heart and refused a follow up visit when DD was slightly behind on jumping and dexterity. I knew she would sort it in her own time and she's totally average at 4 now.

So tread carefully... fine to accept extra support but I would take them with a pinch of salt

With DS we had a male health visitor and he was so good. He got me help with post natal depression and was sensible and down to earth.

Currently I'm bowled over by the help and dedication of my two local health visitors in getting support and assessing my 4 yr old ds for ASD. They are friendly, professional and knowledgeable.

Previously in a completely different part of the country the random assignment of health visitors at baby clinics were not much help.

I saw a few barmy ones to be honest with DS1. First visit the HV just insisted on giving leaflets and talking about one thing after another while DS cried and cried. I was still out of it from painkillers from the EMCS but she wasn’t interested in my well being at all. Second DS initial visit was lovely but that HV went straight on maternity leave. When I did need help as DS2 was losing weight HV at clinic wasn’t interested, said he didn’t look like an underfed baby, despite putting on no weight from about 5 months to 9 months or so. He kept dropping centiles and in the end it turned out to be a medical condition. However a friend is a HV and she is lovely. I know they pretty much just do targeted safeguarding stuff in her area now, hardly even any open clinics. HV only do two clinics a month in local town so I bet take up is low now too. So as with all NHS services it really is down to luck and a postcode lottery.

If only people knew what HVs face on a daily basis. Aggression, violence, abuse, visiting the most chaotic families. They rescue children from the most awful lives, and some from losing their lives altogether. I am not a Health Visitor but work in a service where I get to hear what they have to do. Only today I heard details of a family where the persistence of a Health Visitor resulted in multiple children being rescued from a desperate situation.

Most posters on Mumsnet really have no idea of the reality of some children's lives (and that's probably a good thing as you wouldnt sleep at night).

I second this Follyfoot 100%

Mine is kind and caring. Seems to have lots of useful advice and is genuinely interested in my child when visiting I feel.
There is that odd bit of judgement I think.. questioning how many bedrooms you have etc but overall I wouldn’t change her

Mine is genuinely lovely and has been a big help. She could tell I was emotionally struggling a few weeks in and she was the first person I actually felt comfortable talking to about the possibility of PTS and PND. She got me a doctors appointment arranged for the very same day (I sort of let it all out in a big release of blubbing). She’s been non judgmental, reassuring and supportive and I’m really thankful she’s been there tbh.

We moved house between our 1st and second child. First one we had was lovely but all she did was talk about herself. First time we met her she'd been sat there for an hour telling us about her career/life to date (she was over 60 so there was plenty to tell!!) then realised she hadn't actually asked my husband his name to note down, she did this walking out the door. Lovely woman and nice to chat to but completely pointless in terms of helping with anything.

Second one I've only actually met once before we had our second child. We missed each other on holiday for the next visits but I had no intention of re-booking. I find the ticking boxes thing a waste of time. I'm not a young mum and my mum is a nurse who has many years experience nursing babies and children. I like to think I'm freeing up resources for people who actually need their help.

Have to admit that I expected my HV to be a nosey busy body telling me I was doing everything wrong.

Mine was very nice, down to earth and clearly was not as prescriptive as some.

I found the visit 10 days after birth and six week visit useful, as a FTM it was nice to have any initial concerns answered.

However, I have now opted out of the service as I received a letter from a different health visitor who has given me a two hour window to visit.

I'm not keen on having a different one- I liked the old one, plus it seems that the main purpose is to discuss weaning and ask about mood.

There's nothing that I can't find out about weaning on net and from friends, baby has met the list of 12 week developmental targets in red book and if I had any concerns about development or health I would take my baby to GP anyhow.
I don't like the way they decide what time to come and decide when they need to see you. I would much rather have I service that I could access when I needed it, not the other way around!

My first one was brilliant. Couldn't have been nicer. Then we moved. Second one was a complete bitch. Third one was a bit nicer but not by much

Awful experience

Mines lovely. When my DS struggled in school she went and observed him, pissed for me etc.

One of the many I had when dd was born - call it a team not a "we have no idea from day to day who it will be" - falsified my health notes to claim a visit she never made.

Mine was really supportive and I used to welcome her visits, having had underweight twins...
She continued her visits until they were over one, as I recall.

Mind you she didn't overstep her remit like so many do, we were in South London if that has anything to do with it.

I have heard horror stories about HVs in other places.

Mine seemed like a nice enough lady but her visits were pointless. I had one visit before birth and three fortnightly visits after birth. She basically weighed DD and asked prying questions about my state of mind. She also asked to look round the house, which I found intrusive. She is obsessed with me attending the weekly breastfeeding group she runs and won't take no for an answer!

I don't want or need her but I've gone along with it because I'm worried she'll report me to social services if she thinks I'm trying to hide something.