Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting row with dh - who's in the wrong?

31 replies

emkana · 22/07/2004 19:05

Dh and I can't agree on how much "quality time" he should spend with dd1 (3) and dd2 (11 months) after work. He comes home about quarter to six, gets changed while chatting to the girls, then we all have dinner together, then he helps with the bedtime routine (bath every other night, otherwise only into pyjamas). Sometimes he'll mess around with them a little bit, playing hide and seek or whatever, but mostly it's quite rushed, especially bathtime - he'll just get them in, wash them, get them out again. In the end everything's done by about 6.35 to 6.45, when dd1 watches a video for about half an hour to 45 minutes (on her own, I might add - we are those terrible parents who uses the TV as a babysitter ), and when I put dd2 to bed - who often isn't tired then yet and I'm at a bit of a loss what to do with her (just want to get on with going on mumsnet ...) After the video dh will read a bedtime story to dd1.
Dh feels that the routine is good as it is and doesn't need changing, and that he's doing a lot, much more than other men who get home later or do other things and therefore aren't as involved. But I feel that he could spend some time just playing with the children, just interacting, if you know what I mean. What's it like in other families, I'd be interested to know? Am I being too harsh on dh, or should he do more?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Hulababy · 23/07/2004 09:04

Philly - my DD is a solicitor. Since becoming a partner he has more flexibility with his work though. H e is normally in work for 8am and home by 6:15pm. But then work is only a 10 minute walk away. He does bring work home too though and will do an hour most evenings after DD is in bed.

Hulababy · 23/07/2004 09:07

DH even!

posyhairdresser · 23/07/2004 09:21

He is already doing more than most men IMO on the weekday bedtime scene - is there a bigger picture where you feel he isn't punching his weight though?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

musica · 23/07/2004 09:34

In our house, dh usually doesn't get home till 7.30 or 8, and it's often after 9. If he's later than about 8 then I do all the bedtime routine, but otherwise, he chats to ds (3) for a little bit, usually while ds finishes his tea, and then takes them to bed - every other day they have a bath, but if not, he changes dd,(nearly 1) then I feed her while he gets ds into pyjamas, he does stories (and the children share a room, so they both get these) while ds has milk, then into bed. I'm really happy with what he does, because he's often tired when he gets in, but he's very good with the kids.

dejags · 23/07/2004 11:29

I am lucky in that DH firmly believes in sticking to office hours - he starts at 8.30 and leaves at 4.30..

He does work beyond those hours but will do so at home. On the very, very odd occasion he has a callout on the weekend or in the evening that he can't resolve at home and has to go in - think it's happened 3 times in the last 2 years.

God bless technology and a husband in IT - not a lot he can't do from home that he can do in the office...

honeybunny · 23/07/2004 22:38

for anyone who has a hubby that gets in at a regularly, regular early hour. My dh's hours are v eratic. He's an anaesthetist. Gone in the morning by 6:45am, before kiddies are up and if I'm lucky he's home by 7-7.15pm. Maybe once or twice a week. The rest of the time its more like 8+pm. He's back at the hospital on Saturday morning as well as working 1 in 10w/es for the NHS and 1 in 5 privately. However.... he's a star with the kiddies. They adore him and he mucks in with them as soon as he walks in. Rarely bathtime, but story time and cuddles at bedtime whenever he can and always does bathtime/bedtime at the w/e to give me a break while I get on with the household chores. We dont use tv from suppertime onwards, the boys help me tidy up and then they get rewarded with 1:1 time until bedtime at 7.30ish (anytime from 7.15-7.45/8pm). I'd give my eye teeth for more hubbytime help, but then we've been together all through med school so I knew what I was getting myself into as far as work hours went so cant complain.
No advise really to give, emkana, but maybe dh could spend more quality time with dd1 if no tv was involved. But each to their own. I think storytime is great way to spend time with the kiddies without getting them overexcited with play just prior to bedtime.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page