Dh and I were having a great conversation about this and using some of the tools from my therapist to help me deal with my past as a child. This is not an easy subject for me , so please excuse the way it is articulated.
As a child I feel I was not given the tools to correctly stand up for myself in times of bullying and harrasment.I feel this as I think my mother in particluar had been throught the same as a child , but was also never shown how to build self esteem. It was almost inevitable that I would as the 1st child pick up on the same behaviour as my mum got older I think she gained more confidence and so did each sister as they were born. Going forward with our children how do we teach them the fighting instinct,(metaphorically I mean and not physically fighting), in standing up for themselves?? How do we strike a balance between good healthy confidence and self esteem and the swing towards arrogannce and pompousness?? I suppose what Im saying is -- how do we make sure they have a different attitude towards potential bullies and not become another victim. Or likewise become a bully themselves. I know its a bit much may be to pontificate on when my dd is only 8mths old, but Its is something Im working on with therapy at the moment and its one of my worries. My dd is very much adored and loved and cherished and shown this , but my mum said that this is how I was brought up too, so what went wrong?? Im not saying every person bullied deserved it , I for one didnt, but how can the person on the receiving end deal with how they feel after in a more healthy way??
My dh felt there was a correllation between the kind of child happy to go to bed and settle well and feels secure in themsleves as to not want mummy and daddy with them at every waking moment. Im not sure about this , but is there something in it??