How do you get your kids to tidy up at the end of the day?

[AngelDog]

It's a constant flash point here. They're 5.5 and 2.9 y.o.

Incentives (5 mins tidy then a big cuddle / piece of food / whatever) work for a day or two, then DS1 refuses to do any tidying at all unless I provide an incentive.

"If it's still on the floor it goes in the bin" doesn't work as DS1 puts away the things he most likes then ignores the rest. If I remove the things he most likes, he either goes mental or decides he didn't want them anyway. DS2 gets so upset about toys being confiscated he is pretty much unable to do any further tidying - or he starts grabbing DS1's toys and pre-emptively putting them all in the bin, and I have to rescue them.

I can do it with them and make it into a game but it takes AGES and I've never got to the point where they'll get on with it more without my constant participation. DS2 still just wants to play with everything even with me there.

We have a pretty straightforward storage system (Duplo box, train box, everything else box, bookcase) so I don't think that's the problem.

Any tips?

Mine is only 16 months so too young to understand at the moment but we make a big deal of tidying up before nap time, at the end of the day and the bath toys at the run of each bath. I'm hoping it will go in by osmosis if we stay consistent with it.

I found mine couldn't 'just' tidy up. Even now with dc3 & 4 (ages 8 and 6) it has to be broken down into put your clothes away, now pick up Lego (or Barbie or train track etc), now put books on shelf etc.

I think if they are faced with an explosion in a toy shop it can be overwhelming for them to know where to start.

Ooh, discussion of the day!

Thanks for all the suggestion.

DS2 has clearly learnt from my always-being-too-busy-to-attend-to-demanding-children-at-the-first-instant so every instruction like tidying up meets with, "After I do xxx, then I come."

ds has always been a brilliant tidier but dd will find a reason - leg hurts, i've asked in a mean way and she feels sad etc etc

ds does a very dramatic sigh and gets on with it but i always make a certain item her responsibility. DS then gets lots of praise and attention while she screams and shouts as she flings the toys into the nearest box. We then have a cuddle while she tells me how unfair her life is and i thank her for tidying.

i'm hoping she will improve with age - apparently she tidies up unprompted at school....