Gina Ford

[kbaby]

Hello,
Im 37 weeks pregnany with my first baby. I bought the Gina Ford book today on contented babies. Has anyone tried her routines and did they seem to work.
Her theories look quite good but I dont know if you can stick to such a strict routine, especially as this will be my first baby.
Any advice appreciated.
Thanks

good point Jane313.. I have read threads about new mums who have had low milk supply problems from either routines or from hospitals offering bottles... something to watch out for kbaby!!
your baby does not need much at first and as long as you are eating well and keeping up the fluids then you will have ample milk (if bf that is!)

the baby had started to lose weight which was really scary for her. I wonder how people fit an older child into those routines if they go to playgroups or school or any other sorts of activities?

I met only GF mothers when my baby was small and was amazed at how many hours they had to listen to their children cry for and how even the BF ones took sterilisers when going abroad cos of that expressed milk at 10pm, shes into.

rofl at the trolley comment twiglett. My cousin was like that.

I think some people are into routines with babies- and some aren't. Whenever my MIL looks after a baby she always asks for the "routine". In both cases I have to admit to having looked blankly at her. My routine stretches to breakfast lunch and tea at roughly the same time (obviously before weaning theis routine didn't exist), bath at roughly the same time and bed at roughly the same time........

For me- especially with my first- I found it really important to be out and about with other mums and young babies. Being tied to a routine would have made me climb the walls and made me feel very trapped.

If you do decide to try the book- don't take it to literally- use it as a guide. Provblems with GF (or anyone else) seem to come when parents treat the book as the only way to do something. You need to find your way- so treat GF and everyone else as suggestions to try and you'll be fine....

have also read threads about the routine being a problem initially with playgoups.. not sure how it has panned out for those mothers.

that is interesting what you say.. how many hours they had to listen to their babies cry!! most comments I have ever encountered about GF routines.. is that babies are contented like the title of her books say!

Message withdrawn

Hello Bloss
Its ok.. we are all being quite civil to one another (since u don´t have time to read the thread )

I can understand your AGAIN feeling, the Gina topic does arise with some degree of frequency doesn´t it.

Maybe she should have her own board

...
fwiw I think routines are okay as long as people use them with an open mind to be flexible (depending on the child of course). For some babies it may be necessary - but routines recommended by baby authors these days, aren´t seen as necessary like they used to be.
Like afew of us have commented the word routine instilled me with motherhood inferiority complexes until I realised it wasn´t actually compulsory.

papillon, with you on the feeling inferior because of the 'routine' thing. I got GF, but ds wasn't having it (he also needed feeding more frequently 'cos he was smaller...). I thought I'd like GF because I am (usually) highly organised, but I really bulked at the 'you can't go out to lunch with friends becuase you have to get baby down for nap' line.
ds and I finally got our own routine (and it probably wasn't far off old GF,) but we did it our way...

Do it Do it Do it - but don't feel you have to follow it completely slavishly - if it helps you fine, if not try something different.

I haven't read the whole thread either. You don't need GF to develop routines and use sensible guidelines like letting them sleep in their own cot at home rather than out and about. If you give a baby a chance they will naturally develop a morning nap, maybe plus an afternoon nap, and that will switch to an afternoon nap when they are around 2yrs.
I think the idea of behaviour modification (which is what GF is imho) on newborns is horrible but think its very effective as they develop, plus parents' behaviour benefits from being organised just as much as baby's.
I hate the whole GF hype and wouldn't pay good money to some old crow for a set of rigid rules and regs. A combination of natural and managed is my choice and I can atest works, even with a severely autistic baby (as I now know he was) whose crying was just beyond believable!

Sorry, me again! What I really mean is that imho and ime routine is not something YOU do, it is something THEY (the babies) do but YOU have to give them the opportunity. I also agree that you have to do what you're happy with but, in the long term, I think a regular sleep pattern for all is well worth it. With my first I had a friend from my postnatal class who lived very locally so we would meet up at the park, cafe etc very spontaneously but both followed morning/afternoon naps.

Thanks everyone. It was interesting to read everyones comments. I can see that it may or may not work and that I suppose I could try it and if it isnt for me or the baby well its not the end of the world and we'll find something that works for both of us. However if it works well all the better and at least having some sort of guideline may help me feel more confident with the breast feeding.
Thanks again.
Kbaby

With my first I was not into routine at all and followed the suggestion of bf on demand. It IMO was a huge mistake. I ended up exhausted with a baby who didn't sleep well until after 2yrs old and I honestly blame a lot of his sleep problems on feeding on demand. I finally bought the CLBB when he was around 4-5 mths and tried to introduce the routine. I think it did help.

With no 2 I was determined to have a routine - it works great if you can do it. I sometimes wondered what was harder the sleepless nights or the rigid routine. All I can say is use the book but don't be a slave to it. I was so paranoid about ds2 sleeping that I nearly drove myself crazy trying to keep to the routine times. Ds2 has never really had any sleep problems but will not sleep in his car seat or pram even if its hours past nap time so it makes going out all day tricky. Even so I would still say GF is excellent!

My two DS refused to "do" Gina until they got on to bottles at 6ms. I also found that I needed to bf more regularly than she suggested between 0-8 weeks to keep up my supply (v hungry boys). You can mess around with the routines a bit, ie I swap 2 hour midday sleep for a 2 hour morning sleep if we want to go out for lunch at the weekend. Overall though, I found GF helpful guidance. Just go with the flow when the baby rebels and don't feel bad!

kbaby: personally I think that the most important factor in looking after your baby is to do it YOUR way, the way that feels most natural for your personality and own instincts. That is why GF arouses such strong feelings. If you are a person who feels most secure with a routine and the sense of 'control' that comes of set times, then you will probably find GF a lifesaver. If you are solely b/feeding, and are happy to 'demand feed' and go with the flow of your babies own developing ryhthms, you may be happier with some other guidance manual. I used Penelope Leach, and loved her general philosophy.

as a mum of twins I found gina a godsend - to know there would be three hours every day when BOTH baies would be asleep was essential to my survival !!! would be interested to hear views of other mums of multiples

[disclaimer: this is a random thought sparked off with this thread and not necessarily leading anywhere]

One thing I find interesting is that people generally accept that second babies have to fit into the current household routine and generally have to fit in with the routine and activities of the first child. This is seen as normal and natural. However, putting a first child into some sort of routine (whether it suits more the mother or the child or both combined) is seen as somehow "forced" and "unnatural".

I'm not saying either opinion is right or wrong, just something I find curious.

I haven't read this thread in detail and I know you either love GF or hate her, but today I just wanted to add my thoughts:

I bought all GF books when pregnant - read them and discarded them (thought it all souned a bit mad) ....

Then when dd was about 2 weeks old and I was at the end of my tether - didn't have a clue about babies, didn't know what I was doing and what the baby needed - I just thought - I'll have a go with GF (against midwife's advice) and then at least I will feel like I'm doing something constructive rather than sitting here like a jibbering wreck. Within 2 weeks I was sorted and couldn't thank GF enough. Baby sleeping well, eating well and generally happy, husband and me had evenings together and more importantly, I was happy (however I was a stickler for organisation and routine before baby so that was why I was probabaly happy).

I did follow GF strictly, but what I found as she got older was you could be more flexible - change nap lengths and times to suit your day, etc. I also really liked baby Whisperer Tracey Hogg and in the end I think I was just taking elements of both gurus that suited me and my lifestyle.

DD is now 18 months - still has a routine, sleeps from 7 until 7.30, eats well and smiles most of the time.

I think if you have no experience of babies (like me) then GF or any similar books can be a god send when you're learning the ropes and have zero confidence in your parenting abilities - sad I know, but I felt I could handle anything to do with DD as long as I had GF in my hand!

Hope this helps

GeorginaA - what a great random thought - I too have thought that before...

I absolutely agree with BabyPom. I actually read Gina avidly before I had my baby and found her general guidance on black-out blinds, cots etc. very useful. When my LO was born I tried to follow Gina but struggled to get my head round the weekly changing routines, plus becoming a mum, all the new equipment, my own emotions and so on. I persevered but didn't beat myself up if my LO wasn't exactly on schedule at every minute of the day and I decided that when I wanted I could take him out during the day and let him sleep in his pram or car seat at the proper time. Now he's 23 weeks and he's sleeping from 7 to 7...not every night...but most of the time, and I seem to know what he's asking for when he has a grumble.

I can't say for sure that all of that is down to Gina but it certainly wasn't down to my level headedness or maternal instincts because in the early days I was all over the place. What I would say is that he wasn't an easy sleeper to begin with and knowing that I'm on track with Gina has really given me great comfort. He's also a really happy and contented little chap who rarely cries.
Overall Ginas whole plan is simply a way of getting the right amount of food and sleep in a 12 hour day in order to help your baby, in time, to have 12 hours of sleep. If you're a mum to be and you have no idea about babies like me I'd definetly recommend it because there will be times when you despair and wonder if you're ever going to gain any normality in your life again...a little routine can give you a whole lot of comfort.

i read Gina before DD was born (now 24 months), like Babypom and Decmum, it helped me to see how I could ensure that my baby had sufficient food and sleep in during the day. DD followed it better than I did, within a couple of weeks she was exactly in tune with GF, and at that point I ignored it unless things got a bit out of sync. I ignored all the text in bold type - the baby police never appeared if I fed dd after 3.15pm, or let her have a short nap after 5pm. I took the bits that suited us and chose to ignore the rest. With DS (now 21 weeks) I couldn't use GF at all, he just needed to sleep so much, and would feed for only a few minutes at a time. I read the Baby Whisperer and it suited ds and I much better. He is now following the GF timings, but also reading his signals etc a la BW.

Forgot to add a word of warning....

at times Ginas sweeping statements are a bit disconcerting for example...'no baby of mine has ever had colic ever ever'. These should be ignored totally.

Equally her case studies do portray the offending parents as complete ninkumpoops. She writes with a total blame culture...your baby is a mess because back on week 4 you failed....and so on.

Her tone is the only negative thing about this otherwise inspired book and can lead to the all too familiar Gina tears. I genuinely think this is where her never having been a parent herself comes in to it as she can have little idea of how dreadfully her words can come across and how much better a more 'never mind...pick yourself up and try again' attitude would win her even more fans.

Just thought I needed to add that in because I wouldn't want you to think that those who endorse her book agree with all her sentiments!

Georgina... since I didn't really have much routine with DS at age almost 2, when DD was born, she didn't have to fit into a routine at all.

What I think is that by the time 2nd baby comes you usually have a 'knack' for how to get things done, in some kind of way that doesn't exhaust & stress you out the way things did when you have your first. Whether you achieve that using routines or another rhythem in your life... that varies by individual.

For what it's worth

I wasn't going to listen to ANYONE and fed on demand etc. Result was I had constant crying baby (for various reasons) and I was knackered and desparate. I hated the routine laid out in GF book but decided to give a go when DD was 1 and we still didn't have a daytime routine - she cat-napped and I SO needed a proper break. I didn't go the whole hog (would make you machine and I'm sure take some of the enjoyment out of it) but took basic timings for meals and naps and it worked. She slept and was far happier when awake - and I didn't flip at DH as soon as he was through the door (someone had to take all the s... of my day...) Also NEVER did out of nappy for 45 min or whatever as I couldn't face the thought of poo here there and everywhere.

Am pg with no 2 and will try to apply more GF earlier - but will have to wait and see what this one is like.

If you like the ideas try them - if not don't bother - do what works for you two. PLEASE don't beat yourself up about anything. All mothers and babies are different.

I never used the GF book and my ds was perfect as a baby i made up my own routine and he amazingly slept through for just 5 weeks old. He was a very easy baby and gave me no hasstle at all! Its now the trouble is starting ! at 19 months! Just waiting for those terrible two's! ;o

My wink never worked grrrrrrrrr ;0