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Original poster

Was it really that awful that I left dh's name out of RSVP

46 replies

Mala · 09/11/2006 09:51

DD is having her birthday party in a few weeks. I've been organising it and doing the invitations on the computer. In the rsvp bit I only put my name. Dh went into a hissy fit this morning when he saw the final invitations saying that he was upset that I hadn't thought to put his name in the rsvp bit. He was still sulking when I apologised, which got me really angry. Thing is that he did see a copy before I printed it, but he says he didn't notice that his name wasn't on. He then says that anyway just the fact that I didn't think to put his name on was hurtful. I have always found him really oversensitive and think this whole thing is ridiculous. The reason I put my name is that I know most of the partents, he doesn't. I honestly didn't think it was such a big deal, but he is going on about when dd looks back his name isn't on,etc,etc. Explaining is doing no good. Is this really such an awful thing on my part or is he being a totally oversensitive moron?

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Bibliophile · 09/11/2006 10:25

I think you need to talk to him about this - seriously I do. It's really not normal.
He has ridiculous expectations. I would find this sort of thing very hard to live with. You need to tell him these issues are his issues and he has to deal with them rather than picking fights with you over totally normal things.

Original poster

Mala · 09/11/2006 10:32

Probably does have too much time on his hands as he isn't starting his new job till Jan.

I have tried talking about things. He says that these things matter to him and I should know, as we have been together 15 years. Either that or he'll say "What's the point, you always make it out to be my fault, I shouldn't have brought it up". It will then fester in his mind, prob. till the next time he thinks I have done something. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I am walking on eggshells with him on a day to day basis-it's just these thing blow up out of the blue over certain incidents.

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TheHighwayCod · 09/11/2006 10:34

let him do the party then
arf

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Original poster

Mala · 09/11/2006 10:36

I spend hrs on these bloomin invitations only to get this hassle.

Nothing for him to do now(except make the cake and don't think he'll want to do that), as it is at a softplay centre.

OP posts:

TheHighwayCod · 09/11/2006 10:37

lol
i woudlnt indulge his moodiness
carry on breeezily!

Original poster

Mala · 09/11/2006 10:41

Yes I think I will ignore him and carry on as normal. I do half the time as I know I'm usually right. Just need to check in here time to time to confirm it's not me who is losing touch of reality...

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tribpot · 09/11/2006 11:45

Why are you arranging the party if he's off work? I seriously would tell him to organise the cake. Sheesh!

KTeepee · 09/11/2006 11:57

I suppose if he is at home at the moment and so might possibly be answering the phone when people phone up to reply or might be collecting your dd from school, it would be useful for the other parents to know his name...

BUT my dh would probably rather do all the housework for a year rather than have anything to do with organising a childrens party. Actually being there and taking a few photos is about all he can manage - and I think most men would feel like that..

Original poster

Mala · 09/11/2006 13:09

I do enjoy organising things for the party. I just wish dh would appreciate it rather than whinge about being left out.
I would understand if he was the social sort who enjoyed talking to dd friends parents, but he's not. Really don't know how his mind works sometimes, he is fine usually but is really very strange(in my mind) about some things. I guess as people have mentioned most men do not act this way and that gets me more annoyed(with him).

OP posts:

UnquietDad · 09/11/2006 13:10

It doesn't help when you get, just to pluck a random example out of the air, a PFA letter about second-hand school uniform saying "loads of great bargains for MUMS to come and snap up" or words to that effect. And letters inviting new "mums" from Reception to come to a meeting. And adverts about "mum doing the shopping". And hopeless men on ads who can't read a washing-powder box without tipping ti over the foor. Oh ho ho, chortle chortle, laugh? I almost did. If you want us to be part of it, don't reinforce the idea that we are not.

beckybrastraps · 09/11/2006 13:12

I put both our names on the invitation. Because we both might answer the phone. Never occurred to me not to. Am I wierd?

beckybrastraps · 09/11/2006 13:13

Of course I mean EITHER of us might answer the phone. Not both of us. That WOULD be wierd.

Original poster

Mala · 09/11/2006 13:17

Don't think it is strange if you do put both parents name.
Last year for dd's invitation it was just my name-he didn't say anything. This year he looked through the proof but didn't notice that his name wasn't on there. It wasn't a delibrate act of omission. Just don't think he should get so upset over that though, as in my mind it's not something of importance.

OP posts:

beckybrastraps · 09/11/2006 13:21

Well, sulking about it is daft. Especially as he wasn't on it last year.

foxtrot · 09/11/2006 13:24

If i put DH name on an invite and he answered th e phone, he'd say 'hang on i'll just get my DW, she's organising the party'. It wouldn't even occur to me to put his name on invite TBH.

aDadOnMumsnet · 09/11/2006 13:26

he's making a big deal over nothing at all.

We're doing invites for dd1's birthday right now and I couldn't care whose name was on there to rsvp. It's easier to manage if it's only one of you in fact.

It's not like he's being excluded from the party or something is it!

LIZS · 09/11/2006 13:28

How old is dd ? tbh I'd think of it as a non-issue unless it was an 18th or 21st bday.

BettySpaghetti · 09/11/2006 13:35

Hes having a hissy fit over nothing!

DD went to a shared/joint birthday party recently that was for 4 children -all the phone nos. on the RSVP bit were just the Mums names. I didn't think anything of it.

tissy · 09/11/2006 13:36

Last two party invitations dd has had, there was no parents name on the RSVP section, just a phone number.

notasheep · 09/11/2006 13:38

totally oversensitive moron

Clary · 10/11/2006 21:03

unquiet dad I hear you.

Agree re Iceland ad, in fact I can't/won't shop there (despite a colleague telling me it's th emost ethical supermarket) because "mums go there"!!!!! grrrrr

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