If you go down to the woods today - will you find chocolate behind every tree? I mean FFS!!!

[IamBlossom]

I often take my two year old (and his bro in his buggy) to the local woods where there are lots of nature trails and he absolutely loves it. A friend has a three year old and has also just had a new baby so I invited them to come too on Saturday afternoon. We were walking along when she produces chocolates wrapped in silver foil with poo bear stickers on them that she has made prior to the walk and proceeds to hide a couple behind practically every other tree we pass without the boys seeing and then saying "Hey boys, I wonder if Winne the Poo has left any treats for you behind THIS tree.....". her 3 year old was obviously expecting this and was searching and finding, and then of course my 2 year old who rarely eats chocolate cos he goes comletely skitz on it runs over and joins in.

Now don't get me wrong, I love imaginary fairy games etc, and the woods are a great place for adventures like seardhing for treasure etc, but by the time we'd finished my DS had a veritable haul of chocolates and you try telling him he can't eat at some of them when his mate is guzzling.... needless to say bed time was later that night cos he was so wired. Next time I will get hold of them all and give him just a couple to eat but I was taken by surprise, and it would have been a bit obvious I disapproved if I'd taken them all off him... Does anyone else think practically bribing your children to exercise and then cancelling out the benefits with the chocolate is a bad idea, or am I just being a hitler...?

Would you have preferred it if she had hidden the chocolates for her child, but not let your child join in?

I think it sounds like a fun idea that the children clearly enjoyed.

I expect she thought she was doing it as a treat for the children.

It doesn't sound like a form of bribery, and it was just a few chocolates - not a full English breakfast and a gallon of Sunny Delight nestling in every bough!

hehehe

I observed a parent doing this while in a local beauty spot recently

She winked at me as though all parents did this

I thought she was completely barking

Better just to let them enjoy the woods - running around with no traffic and plenty of sticks/leaves/conkers.. what else do you need?

It sounds like a bit of fun...

She was only trying to inject a bit of light hearted frivolity and sense of adventure into the walk. I wouldn't see it as bribing her child to do exercise.

If it had been me I would probably have said laughingly "Hey steady on the chocolates, perhaps we can spread them out a bit more thinly"? Better than fuming in silence.

I think chocolate is OK in small amounts but i do wonder why people feel they have to give their child loads. i often see really small children at our local shop being bought treats like a full-sized mars bar and a bag of crisps - IMO that's madness, they would enjoy it just as much if they were used to being given a small amount. TBH it would annoy me if a friend did this.

I do agree with the OP though about friends and childrearing. When I see friends with their kids I often feel so different from them and yes judgemental - I find myself thinking they are doing things wrong, raising their children to be spoilt/insecure/whatever and I'm sure they think the same about me. Slight differences are magnified in your relationship with your chidlren.

"When I see friends with their kids I often feel so different from them and yes judgemental - I find myself thinking they are doing things wrong, raising their children to be spoilt/insecure/whatever and I'm sure they think the same about me. "

You know snowleopard I honestly and truly don't feel this about other friends. I notice that they might do things differently to me, but I just tend to conclude "different strokes for different folks"

I am however aware of being subtly judged by friends and acquaintances over parenting issues - which saddens me and makes this period one of the loneliest phases of my life (i.e. I tend to avoid close friendships with other mums for this very reason, and I am often evasive when I get social invitations)...

I don't mean to HMC, I didn't set out to judge, but I do find myself doing it. Eg I hate it when friends tell their children off for doing something totally harmless, even creative, like climbing on a railing or splashing in a puddle. Conversely I get annoyed when one of my friends acts like a total slave to her child and can never get out of the door if her DD isn't happy with it.

Like you I find friendships with other mums a bit stressful, though worth it in some cases.

I think about this a lot, maybe I'll become less this way as I chill out a bit (DS is still only little).

slightly off topic but i know what you mean about being stressed/judgemental about how other people are with their children. I have fab ILs but i get stressed just at the thought of my MIL looking after my DS (who is only 9wks old)she has very different ideas to me and is not very flexible or willing to adapt to the way i am bringing up my DS!

i totally agree snowleopard i really dont mean to judge or compare but I do find myself doing it. I would never comment becuase it's none of my business how other people bring up their children just as it's none of their business how i choose to bring up mine and there is nothing more imflammatory than hearing comments about how you raise your children - I do however discuss it with my husband. Maybe my expectations about how i want to raise my kids and how I want them to turn out and behave are too unrealistic, my husband thinks so sometimes, but you have to aim high don't you?

When my kid has no teeth from too much chocolate regardless of my efforts and hates going to nature walks cos I made them too boring you can all remind me of this thread.