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Original poster

Do you let your DC climb up slides in the park?

375 replies

rosie79 · 09/10/2006 17:28

My ds who's 3 has always been really into climbing (like most kids this age!) and for as long as he has been able to has climbed up slides in parks as well as sliding down them. He always waits his turn if it's busy and doesn't climb up if someone is about to slide down. I have always let him do this as I know that he knows his own limits and has yet to have any accidents, he is careful. Our parks are rarely very busy either. However, I have often heard other mums say to their kids as they try to climb up the slide "no dear, go up the normal way" or the "proper way" or similar words to this effect, or worse "you'll get the slide dirty" !! So their shoes doen't make it dirty if they slide down?! .
It doesn't bother me what other parents let and don't let their kids do, that's their choice, but to imply that my child is doing something wrong or abnormal and give me funny looks or say stuff extra loud so I hear them, that's annoying!! surely in playgrounds children should be able to use the equipment however they choose to, exploring and being adventurous? Isn't this what childhood is all about? With a bit of adult supervision it isn't dangerous. Am I on my own in feeling like this?

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Blu · 09/10/2006 20:58

Yes, Sorrell, but that's why we tell them to stop it - ours or not - if their parents are reading Heat in the corner or on thier mobile, or taking another child to the toilet. I'm quite happy for other parents to get my DS to conform to a bit of consideration during the moments when I have slipped into the bushes for a quick toke on a joint.
In fact only the other week, BossyKate had to tell my DS to stop pushing her smaller dd - when he was queuing behind her on the steps to the slide. Oooops!

I agree with mb re the Village. You just need villagers to fulfill their civic duty!

Blandmum · 09/10/2006 20:59

Lily livered but with a good line in plates

I am still PMSL about that btw!

Lact8 · 09/10/2006 20:59

But it's when the going up the steps children are queuing nicely and the going up the slide ones barge in that they become the rude ones surely?

(I'm talking about pre school ones here btw, if my ds is old enough to play in the park on his own then he's old enough to deal with this himself imo. AND he know's not to climb up when little ones are around)

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Blu · 09/10/2006 21:00

Plates? Where are MI's plates?

bossykate · 09/10/2006 21:00

you put your finger on it, blu. going the "right" way up the slide is no guarantee of good behaviour - ergo, better not to stifle the kids but to insist on sharing, turn taking, however they are playing with the apparatus.

lol at mb, i have similar memories!

bossykate · 09/10/2006 21:01

blu's ds is normally a very, very good boy, btw!

motherinferior · 09/10/2006 21:02

on here

Blandmum · 09/10/2006 21:03

You were so funny.

I hope you realise that you have been entertaining me for over 24 hours with that line

Jimjams2 · 09/10/2006 21:07

DS1 climbs up the steps and if anyone happens to be waiting climbs OVER the children in front (yep even if there's a queue of 5). Last time we went to soft play he decided one track (on a 6 track slide) was his. So if someone happened to be sitting on "his" track he'd jump over them as well.

I do supervise him by the way. When he's busy climbing over children I'm at the bottom waving and shouting and apologising. Sometimes I go up the slide as well to try and sort out the tangle of limbs, but I find that tends to make the situation worse. Luckily the only time he's actually hurt someone (he stood on their back) it was ds2.

We don't really go to busy parks. TBH we don't really tend to go to parks unless they are completely empty. My children will think rainy windy stormy days are park days.

Spidermama · 09/10/2006 21:16

I think kids should be given more or less free reign to use the equipment it playgrounds as they see fit. I can't bear to see parents telling their children exactly how to play fgs. But out. Children know best.

It also pisses me off when parents are prissy about kids getting their clothes dirty. They're playing! It's not a fashion show.

I would endeavour to make sure certain social rules are adhered to (you must give other children turns and wait for your turn etc) and I've also had to tell my children not to put blackberries on the slide which is clearly intolerable, but otherwise I think parents should lighten up, sit back and read the paper. Try to use the swing park as an opportunity to practise benign neglect.

Spidermama · 09/10/2006 21:19

Another pet hate of mine, while I'm at it, is parents who bring pushchairs bowing down with the sheer weight of toys and possessions. They then expect me to keep my 20 month old away from the shiny diggers and cars they're carrying just in case their child should want to play with them.

If I bring toys to the swing park I leave them around for anyone to play with then collect them at the end. If they're special toys (not for sharing) I keep them out of sight and reach of others when not in use.

Swing park etiquette eh? Another parenting minefield.

Jimjams2 · 09/10/2006 21:32

oh yes that drives me mad as well spidermama

pointyfangedWeredog · 09/10/2006 21:33

Is everyone sort of agreeing now?

How very mumsy.

Blandmum · 09/10/2006 21:35

The one thing I am a bit hyper about is kids running behind swings. I got smacked in the eye with a swing as a child and it gave me one hell of a bump.

pointyfangedWeredog · 09/10/2006 21:39

Well, maybe if you'd been pole-axed to the ground by a child hurtling down the slide towards you who enjoys the game of bumping into others, you'd have a thing about slides.

I'm kidding. Really. I have no issues here.

amyjade · 09/10/2006 21:39

'I think kids should be given more or less free reign to use the equipment in playgrounds as they see fit. I can't bear to see parents telling their children exactly how to play fgs. But out. Children know best.'

Totally agree spidermama

Dd2 is 16 months and spends her whole afternoon climbing up the slide, a park isn't for rules it's for fun !!

sweeneytoddsmissus · 09/10/2006 21:58

benign neglect is wonderful I look forward to doin it! but my child is too young and not quite big enough to play confidently on everything (needs a foot up here and there) and also too young to share things he trots around the p'ground annoucing everything is 'mine' in threatening tones to other children. I was looking forward to being a bloody hippy parent but my toddlers self-centered conservative tendancies can only be tempered by being instructed firmly but fairly on manners and the joys of sharing - without this refereeing (and yes this includes discouraging climbing up the slide - or rather enthusiastic encouragement to climb steps instead) my son will not learn how to play with others and playing with other children helps foster imaginative play imo - children like to have some boundaries - this doesn't prevent them from being creative but helps them learn responsibilty and consideration.

But I promised myself I wouln't post on here so I will get back in my box now.

sorrell · 09/10/2006 22:20

It is obviously hogging it if you are going down and up the same slide. Clearly someone else cannot use it while you are doing so. The whole point of up the steps and down the slide is that is the simple, civilised way of making sure everyone has a turn. You've obviously never seen horrible little kids going up and down while nice, rather timid kids wait at the top for their 'turn' which would never come at all if their parents didn't intervene. The parents of the other kids don't mind. Of course they don't. Their kids are perfectly happy. So of course their parents think I should 'butt out'. I mean, who cares if some kids never get a turn, your children always know best how to play, eh?

tigermoth · 09/10/2006 22:31

Hovering IMO is what you do when your chidren are very little and wobbly. As soon as they have more co ordination and strength IMO, it's time to free them up to have a few falls, knocks and bruises in a safe, play environment, like a playground.

I totally accept that some children will have the strength and co ordination at an earlier age than others - you as a parent make a judgement to back off.

Literally, IMO children need to find their feet and a playground is an ideal place for that. If you see a child going up a slide, taking their turn, but taking slightly longer that the children on the steps, what does it really matter? Do the children on the steps have an urgent appointment to keep? are THEY tut tutting about the non conformist? Ok if there is a line of upset children, you intervene, but if the children are happy to let the slide climber have a longer go, why do anything?

sorrell · 09/10/2006 22:34

I suspect parents who let their kid hog the slide tend to have a rather rosy vision of how long the other children should wait for their beloved than the other children have. They are just more polite.

LAtyke · 09/10/2006 22:34

I'm really enjoying this thread - thought I'd add that ds loves climbing up slides so much he's been in hospital with concussion after a spectacular tumble. apparently his brain 'must have bounced nicely' on the spongy playground floor. 'fraid experience has put me on the side of the tutting mums

tigermoth · 09/10/2006 22:35

sorell, I think you are talking about two separate things - not taking turns and going the 'wrong' way up a slide. The two don't automatically go together. A child can still wait thier turn to go the wrong way up a slide.

motherinferior · 09/10/2006 22:36

Mine don't hog. They have many faults but they don't hog.

sorrell · 09/10/2006 22:37

I don't really see how, tbh. After all it takes a couple of seconds to go down a slide and quite a lot longer to climb it and go down. Are children of an age to enjoy climbing up the wretched slide really able to work this out? In my experience, I'd say no. And as so many parents of slide-climbers pride themselves on their 'benign neglect' I don't think they are keeping any sort of account either. Why not just make them go up the steps when other children are about? You know it makes sense.

sorrell · 09/10/2006 22:39

And while they are climbing up, nobody can go down. Frankly, unless I am having to remonstrate with someone else's kids who have no manners while mine wait patiently at the top for an age, I never, ever think about this subject at all. But I am suprised that so many people think it is Ok for their kids to monopolise a piece of equipment put in the park for all to share in a fairly easily recognised and understood way.

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