Do you let your DC climb up slides in the park?

[rosie79]

My ds who's 3 has always been really into climbing (like most kids this age!) and for as long as he has been able to has climbed up slides in parks as well as sliding down them. He always waits his turn if it's busy and doesn't climb up if someone is about to slide down. I have always let him do this as I know that he knows his own limits and has yet to have any accidents, he is careful. Our parks are rarely very busy either. However, I have often heard other mums say to their kids as they try to climb up the slide "no dear, go up the normal way" or the "proper way" or similar words to this effect, or worse "you'll get the slide dirty" !! So their shoes doen't make it dirty if they slide down?! .
It doesn't bother me what other parents let and don't let their kids do, that's their choice, but to imply that my child is doing something wrong or abnormal and give me funny looks or say stuff extra loud so I hear them, that's annoying!! surely in playgrounds children should be able to use the equipment however they choose to, exploring and being adventurous? Isn't this what childhood is all about? With a bit of adult supervision it isn't dangerous. Am I on my own in feeling like this?

slides... the burning issue of the day

I'm really suprised at how many people would let their small children climb up the slide if someone's waiting at the top.

The OP was about adults who tut at children using the equipment the 'wrong' way - which is insane of them.

But if you want to teach your child how to interact with others in a considerate way, why do that everywhere except the park?

"I think playgrounds these days can be so tediously safe that older children need to misuse the equipment a bit to have any fun"

Agree totally. And I like the fact that our playgrounds here have a younger section and an older section - avoids a lot of the tutting in my opinion ;) They're also rarely crowded.

Have far more issues with the little scrotes who damage play equipment with graffiti and rubbish. Now they really DO spoil it for others.

GeorginaA - exactly my point. Cant believe how stressed people are about the whole up the wrong way up a slide. I am not saying it is ok to encourage kids to push in and not take turns, howver I have let ds run the wrong way up a little slide. HE only does that when not in use by other kids. He is 6 and tbh when he was younger i did discourage him and showed him the right way, purely because he was too little to e trying it and was far more likely to get hurt or squished.

but ds is exceptionally thoughful as per teachers etc, and helps out the younger kids at school. At park at weekend he was helping a 2.8 year old little boy on equipment. I think it is far better to be sensible and allow the kids an element of freedom to develop own morals and resposibilties with genrle guidance. I am sure the mums opposed to slide climbing on here dont rigidly police their children and control them, however it can come across that way on these threads. No offense intended, just saying what i see

at geekgirl big grin on her dd breaking her foot.

When my dd was small she used to sit terrified at the top of the slide while bolder children climbed up slide, slid down etc. over and over again, so she cd never have a turn.

It is important to realise that very small children find it intimidating. I always taught her to go up steps, wait her turn, make sure slide is clear etc. (god, I sound dreadful

Now she is 3.5 I think she can cope with some of the bigger kids herself, and doesn't get so wound up by it. I agree that playgrounds are for exploring and you don't have to use the equipment the 'right' way.

Now I teach her that she can climb slide, but not if it's busy. That she shd look out for smaller children and be fair to them. That she should take turns, and let someone else have a go, because that way she's more likely to get a go on something she wants to do. And if she's worried about someone more boisterous behind her, it might be easier to let them whizz up the climbing frame first, and then get on.

So, a bit like other stuff in life, I think if you teach them the 'rules' first e.g. climb the steps and down the slide, then it's OK to bend the rules as they get older, because they then know how to behave if it's necessary

Otherwise they just don't see anything wrong in monopolising the equipment and don't understand why there are children crying at the top of the slide!

Will recount my worst ever playground experience. Ds1 was hmmm 5ish I think. He had a routine at the park. He would run in, slide down the slide, run to the tyre swing go in that for 2 seconds, then would go on the see-saw, then we could all relax, routine over, and enjoy the park.

One day we arrived just as a little goirl got in the tyre swing. "oh hell" I thought. Ds1 ran in, went down the slide, ran over to the tyre swing. Mum pushed the girl. DS1 tried to get in , I grabbed him and pulled him away, he ran back, and started screaming. The girl went to get off - the mum said "you stay in there" and she kept her dd in there swinging backwards and forwards for 10 bloody minutes whilst ds1 went absoutelty ballistic. Mother all the time sucking lemons, looking at ds1 as if he was a pice of scum. Me waving PECS cards around, using obvoius SN phrases, and on she went swing, swing swing. IN this time he obviously didn;t say a single word (being unable to talk), just screamed, I mean reallly even for the most sheltered it shouldn't have been that hard to work out (and no I couldn't talk to her and discuss it because I was trying to keep ds1 far enough away from the swing so he wouldn't pull her daughter off in order to get on himself). Eventually the mother allowed her dd off the swing. Ds1 climbed oin swung forwards, backwards, forwards backwards, climbed off to run over and do the see saw bit then spent a happpy half hour at the park.

She did have the decency to look a bit shocked when he spent 2 seconds on the swing.

And taking him home without completing the routine wasn't really an option because a) i would have pphysically struggled to get him in the car and b) he would have screamed for hours.

We didn't go to a park for a long time after that. My favourite park is still one without any other children in it. Or if therer are kids, a park without their parents will do.

In fact I think that park should be renamed lemon suckers park, last time we went there when there were others there (its often empty which is why I go there) one woman spent the entire time cuddling her newborn baby whilst stariing at ds1 as if he was form another planet. He wasn't getting in anyone's way, just making strange noises.

Fondant4000 "When my dd was small she used to sit terrified at the top of the slide while bolder children climbed up slide, slid down etc. over and over again, so she cd never have a turn"

That isn't nice at all and must have been horrible for your dd!

That's an example of bad mannered or inconsiderate children, but not all children who climb up slides are like this, you can have considerate well mannered children waiting their turn and aware of others who sometimes climb up the slide.

Incidentally when ds was about 1 he had a similar incident happen to him, where he was sitting at the top of the slide and five boys pushed past him in a row to slide down - and they had climbed up the slide the 'right' way! I had to tell them to wait as he was just little (he hadn't been hogging it or sitting there for very long either!). Their mums didn't even notice.

I do think children who just sit at the top of slides are an absolute danger though (ds1 used to do exactly this when he was 2 or 3, or he used to get half way up the steps then turn round and come down oblivious to everyone trying to get up, so I'm talking from the point of view of having a sitter).

Jimjams, thank you for that post, I will be more alert to that sort of situation now x

Gawd, Jimjams - doesn't sound like the little girl could have had much fun either being stuck in a swing for 10 minutes! That would have made me so cross for both children.

(My two are flitters - I actually can't imagine a child being able to stay in a swing for 10 minutes - mine manage about 10 swings before demanding to get down!)

rosie I think in that case you have to intervene. Tell the other kids to wait and then encourage your own kid to get on with it. I have a physically unconfident DS, and a rather more physcially confident but socially timid DD. So they are both a bit wary.

I'm very scared every time I see a child climbing up the slide. But it's my personal thing - I broke my arm doing that when I was 4. So I think I wouldn't allow my children to do that, just because I can't bear to look at it - brings back painful memories...

Ah this drives me mad. My DD is 3 and was happily playing at jumping down steps whilst we were sheltering from rain with some other parents. Another child began to do similar and was perfectly capable of it but when her mother spotted her she rushed over and stopped her from doing it - fair enough but then she looked at me in a knowing way as if to say why did I let that happen and I shouldn't be allowing my DD to do that. It drives me maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Let them live a little

Each to there own as long as they are being careful and courtesous of others, however I don't allow my children to climb up slides simply because I did it as a child lost my balance on fell over the side landing on my back and ended up in a neck brace being taken to hospital for a suspected broken back, (thankfully just badly bruised), so you can see why I'm wary.

I know georginaA - that's what annoyed me- the girl kept trying to get down and the mother wouldn't let her. When it happens in reverse I tend to leave it 30 seconds, minute at max then say (wo whichever child it is- including ds1) - ok lets let the other little boy/girl have a go now.

JimJams - I sometimes used to take DS to our local park very early in the mornoing - 7am, and there was often a woman in there with her 7 year-old autistic son, because that was the only time she felt able to take him.

Oooooh, yes. Sunday afternoons in our park which is the only one for a very large area of high density housing. Packed equipment, lots of queues, and the parents of some child who can barely toddle are inevitable coaxing it up the ramp to the slide equipment, at snails pace, it keeps pottering backwards and doesn't particularly want to go up anyway, they can't help it effectively because you have to reach through the bars of the ramp and the bridge that lead to the slide, well-behaved bigger kids, brimming with energy, are hovvering behind them desparate with impatience, other kids attempt to squeeze past and get very dirty looks...others sit for ages at the top before trying to get back down through the queue on the ramp, causing more delay...and the same scenario is being played out on the 'big' climbing frame (Colour coded for over 6's) as a parent painstakingly helps a tiny toddler up bars or along a walkway, and all the 8 and 9 year-olds are again stymied on their own patch...

pmsl Blu- that description is so accurate.

I've done the early mornings as well- new years day at 8.30am is a perfect time to take an autistic child to the park! I now tend to choose rainy days (not good in the mornings, and I need a helper). Sundays at 9am are often OK as well. By 10 its too busy.

The most relaxed I've ever felt at a play session was a half hour special needs only soft play session (it was someone's birthday and for the first half hour it was just us). It was slightly chaotic, loads of screaming, but the older children (NT siblings) there were helping the ones with SN, the parents were laughing at the chaos, even the people working behind the counter who were swamped by children running behind it were forgiving and kind.

First time I've ever looked at mumsnet - BLIMEY! Some of you lot get worked up about some funny things. We all get a bit defensive when our kids or our style of parenting get criticised, don't we?
My boys are 11 & 12 - when they were little I used to explain why it wasn't a good idea to go up the slide when there were other people waiting to use it. Now they're older they've got enough brains to work it out for themselves and show due consideration, especially to little ones.
As for the mud... surely if a child climbs up the slide they are more than likely to slide down it again and wipe it clean for the next person?

Well the tutters will be glad to know that at Tumbletots today, all the kiddies were being taught to go up the slide and they were all took their turns beautifully

I thought of mumsnet...

fortyplus - don't worry - a lot of people were using this thread as a sort of debating past-time, and some of it was tongue-in-cheek!
Although Slide etiquette COULD join the other topics which seem to attract obsessive and relentless comment: Soft Drinks, hols in term-time, faith schools, food - organic/processed/fruit shoots/healthy eating/lulnchboxes/you name it...

WElcome to MN - and good point about the mud!

they were all took?!!

Either: they were all taking
Or: they all took

Take your pick

have not had time to read whole thread - but beleive life is too short too worry about the way you or your child go up or down slides

I haven't read all the thread so apologies if this repeats anything.

We went to Moors Valley in the summer, they have a double/triple slide there. All the children are queuing up nicely to use the slide (by the steps - the proper way imo!) but of course there are the few who have a law unto themselves and start climbing up, thus the children waiting at the top cannot come down and the queue gets longer and longer. Surprise, surprise no parents of these children anywhere around. That is what truly annoys me, the lack of parental supervision. Has anyone been forced to tell their child they can't use the slide because some other child has walked up it with a shoeful of dog crap. Let me tell you I have and it wasn't a pleasant experience.

OK: MN poll: Is there any MN-er who did not, as a child, at any time, climb up the slide?
Including once you were allowed to go to the park on your own?

climbing up the slide when no-one else on it is FINE

climbing up the slide when even ONE other child on it or wanting to get on is RUDE

I can't imagine that I would ever have wanted to climb up a slide in my childhood as in the 70's slides were massive, about triple the size they are nowadays - I would have been scared stiff and I can't recall ever seeing anyone do it either.