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Do you have a goody-goody firstborn and a naughty secondborn?

42 replies

emkana · 19/09/2006 19:57

Is there a pattern in families that the oldest is good and the younger one picks the opposite extreme to gain attention?

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nutcracker · 19/09/2006 19:58

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sorkycake · 19/09/2006 19:58

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myermay · 19/09/2006 19:58

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Saturn74 · 19/09/2006 19:59

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USAUKMum · 19/09/2006 19:59

My two both started out to be high maintenence babies, now at 2 & 5.5 are pretty good {smile]

cazzybabs · 19/09/2006 19:59

Well - me funny enough .

Today - fairly typical. DD1 writing, practising writing numbers. DD2 found pen scribbled all over dd1's paper, then when I went to get the pen off her draw on her top and then hit poor old dd1. Cue 2 screaming children!

God - I want another 1 when I read this by god am I put off!

QueenEagle · 19/09/2006 20:00

Certainly true of my older 2 when they were toddlers. dd was an angel. Textbook baby. Brilliant. ds1 was a complete mare, tantrums galore.

ds2 was a good baby but is a monkey now (10).

Of my 2 youngest, ds3 (almost 4) is a complete nightmare atm, and ds4 is lively, shall we say, but very cute with it.

I'm guessing you are experiencing this with your emkana?

SoupDragon · 19/09/2006 20:00

I have a good 1st born and a challenging 2nd born. I dread to think where 3rd born BabyDragon will fit in...

nutcracker · 19/09/2006 20:01

Must say though, I am a second born and I am an angel, always have been

Donbean · 19/09/2006 20:01

my 1st PURE EVIL, am seriously seriously not wanting to have another, just cant put myself through the trauma again.

nutcracker · 19/09/2006 20:02

Soupy my 3rd born is a mixture of both. He can be as naughty as Dd2 but knows how to be extra nice and angelic like Dd1 to make up fot it LOL.

YeahBut · 19/09/2006 20:05

Sometimes I'd say yes, however, tbh I think I expect too much from dd2. She's 2 years younger than her sister, but I forget this and expect her to behave with the same maturity as dd1.
Also (please ignore if this is out of line) I know that things have been very stressful in the Emkana house recently with Sebastian's pregnancy/delivery and ongoing issues. Dd2 may be finding it difficult to express her concerns and feelings in a constructive way with so much attention going to the baby.

misdee · 19/09/2006 20:05

dd1 is/was an angelic child. dd2 is hard work, not naughty, just hard work.

now dd3 ooooooooo she looks so angelic, but she is full of mischeif, i had the main caring team round here and she asked if the older 2 rough and tumbled with dd3, at thaat point dd3 can running in and bundled onto dd2 knocking her over and screeching in her ears. i laughed and said no, dd3 starts it all. the carers couldnt belive it

Miaou · 19/09/2006 20:05

Dd1 is fairly quiet and well-behaved, dd2 is definitely giddier and gets told off more, though generally for "silly" behaviour rather than naughtiness. She (dd2) is absolutely an attention-seeker - it really shows when you get her on her own, she is so much more relaxed and reflective .

Funnily enough, she has been a lot better since ds got mobile (ish) as she loves playing with him

sallystrawberry · 19/09/2006 20:06

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emkana · 19/09/2006 20:07

Yeahbut, I know what you're saying, but tbh dd2 was different to dd1 from the day she was born. While I appreciate that all this is not easy for any of us, I do feel that it's also a large part her personality.

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MuddyMum · 19/09/2006 20:10

I've only got 1 so can't compare notes yet. But my Mum had 5........

  1. Energetic, very naughty but 'can't do anything wrong' in M's eyes (and still is)
  2. Difficult (and still is)
  3. Quiet and easy-going (still)
  4. Energetic and easy going (less energy now, Me!!)
  5. Happy, contented, seriously chilled dude (and still is).
singersgirl · 19/09/2006 20:11

No, the other way round.

YeahBut · 19/09/2006 20:12

Well then, perhaps it is down to personality. DD1 is much more introverted than dd2. Dd2 is also desperate to be noticed and to be the centre of attention so a lot of her behaviour (good and bad) stems from this. We just keep hoping that either dd2 will calm down or that we'll find a better way of dealing with her! She is great fun, though and our family wouldn't be the same without her.

PrettyCandles · 19/09/2006 20:13

I have an easy first and a 'normal' second, and I don't think it was about getting attention, they were both like this from the very begining!

They learn challenging behaviour from each other, but I do so wish dd would learn some of the easy-going behaviour from ds .

nearlythree · 19/09/2006 22:38

Realise I'm going to sound like a total arse now, but I hate labelling children as 'good', 'easy', 'difficult' or 'naughty'. My dd1 is four and dd2 is 2 and I know people within my family have decided which is the 'good' one and which is 'trouble' and treat them accordingly, as if how a child behaves as a toddler sets their behaviour for life.

snorkle · 19/09/2006 22:55

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emkana · 20/09/2006 09:28

nearlythree, I just think it's interesting how it seems to be that children choose to be what their sibling is not, IYSWIM.

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pamina3 · 20/09/2006 09:33

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