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Parenting

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Original poster

why do parents feel they cant go to appts with children with them? its just life, surely???????

74 replies

nailpolish · 14/09/2006 09:19

when i go to the dentist, for a smear, getting my bikini line waxed, whatever, i just take dd's with me

there ARE a couple of folk i could ask to watch them while go alone, but i dont bother

maybe if i had a 3hr appt at the hairdressers, but thats because they would get bored. in that case i would have appt on a saturday so dh could watch them

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jabberwocky · 15/09/2006 18:56

I have had patients bring children in with them for eye exams, and in general it is not a problem. With under 3's, though, behavior can vary widely and at times I have found it to be stressful to the point that I had a very difficult time concentrating on the patient as I would have liked to.

From a personal standpoint, I did bring ds to my ultrasound appt b/c the OB suggested it. I probably wouldn't have otherwise and actually was rather wishing I hadn't as he ran around and was generally hard to handle. So, no more appt's with ds!

WestCountryLass · 15/09/2006 21:13

I've got no choice but to take mine with me, when you've no one to leave them with and your husband works 50+ hours a week what do you do?

When I was pregnant with DD, I went for consultanat appt as wanted home birth but DS was prem so the midwives wanted the hospitals approval.

So while I am there they decided to do swabs to see if I was carrying any infections So I am one side of a curtain and DS was the other and he got really upset so they got him a chair and he held my hand.

When things like that are sprung on you, you've just got to get on with it imo.

nearlythree · 15/09/2006 21:18

We took our dds to teh solicitors when we were signing papers for our new house. In the meeting room were loads of old computers that were being wiped and then passed on. each one was labelled as to who it had been used by and whether it had been wiped or not. Our girls had a great time swapping the labels over!

(Btw, www, I do not wax either. Rip out my pubic hair because it is fashionable? I don't think so.)

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mumfor1standfinaltime · 15/09/2006 21:24

I can't take ds to the dentist as I have to climb 2 flights of stairs (in an old house), prams aren't allowed upstairs and I'm not leaving it at the bottom! Also who would control a 20 month old while I am having a scale and polish!
My hair cuts etc are my time, time for me!

ghosty · 15/09/2006 21:28

It depends on the appointment - would take DD to a smear but not DS (she is 2, he is 6 ... he has been with me for a smear when he was under 2). I really don't think I could relax.
I take them to the dentist if it was a check up but not if I have to have work done because I am a huge baby at the dentist and I don't want them to learn that scared is OK.
I take them to the doctor if I need to.
Never to the hairdresser - that is MY time ... and I am very very precious about it ... it takes 2 hours anyway and it would be unfair to them and to the staff and other customers to make them stay there 'good' for so long.

cat64 · 15/09/2006 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Cappuccino · 15/09/2006 21:54

I had a coil fitted while a nurse held a screaming baby over my head going 'there you go, mummy's only there'

while the doctor at the other end was going 'that's it, just relax'

3littlefrogs · 15/09/2006 22:05

Small children in outpatient clinics can be a nightmare for staff and the poor old mum who is there for her scan or whatever.I vividly remember one toddler who managed to help herself to a couple of quite dangerous items off the procedure trolley. It isn't the responsibility of busy staff to look after small children and I think it is very stressful for the parent who is on the examination couch. Of course, if there really is no-one to help out, it can't be helped, but it isn't ideal. I had 2 boys 2 years apart. They were lovely but lively, and I hated taking them shopping, never mind to an appointment where I wouldn't have both hands free and total concentration at all times!!! My 3rd child is a girl, and she is a much more peaceable individual and can usually be relied upon to sit quietly for a little while if required.

FrayedKnot · 15/09/2006 22:09

DS comes to the dentist & dr as a routine - I've no-one to leave him with so yes, it is a fact of life.

I had to have an internal examination last time I went to the Dr, but the Dr was quick & DS was too busy playing with the toy basket to notice what was going on!

He doesn;t come to the hairdresser because at least until recently he would get bored and wreak havoc so I do that on Saturdays, but I would take him if I had to.

FrayedKnot · 15/09/2006 22:14

Threads like this remind me so much of one holiday we went on to Greece, and the woman in the local tour operator office took ehr DD to work every day with her (she was maybe 18 months old) and the DD sat in a travel cot while she worked

She had loads of attention from people and it was probably only for a couple of hours until ehr granny came to get ehr or soomething but I was amazed att eh difference in attitude.

emsiewill · 15/09/2006 22:34

Took dd2 with me while I gave blood once - she was about 4 at the time, sat there good as gold. I guarantee that if I'd had dd1 there as well, there would have been a riot - if dd1 had been alone, all would have been well. In other words, they're fine on their own, as a pair, it's a different story.

And www - I have never done any sort of topiary or refinement to my pubic hair. So you're not the only one here who has not done the bikini wax thing.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 15/09/2006 22:38

We went for a dr's appointment today for DS(7) and had DD(18 months) as well. The appt was 1.5 hours late and then lasted 1.5 hours. DD got bored so I took her out and Dh stayed with DS.

Hairdressers - I took them both when smaller, and would take DS now but not DD.

jabberwocky · 16/09/2006 10:26

I find it fascinating that the gist of this thread seems to be that it's OK to take them to the doctor but not to the hairdresser. As an optometrist who has been really stressed out at times by out of control children in my exam room, I would rather be the hairdresser!

moondog · 16/09/2006 10:29

www,what are you doing for three hours in the hairdressers???

CristinaTheAstonishing · 16/09/2006 10:38

I think when you go for a hospital appt you don't know how long it will last, how long you'll wait and it's more difficult to make arrangements for half a day. The hairdressers is usually just 1 hour, easier to sort out.

WideWebWitch · 16/09/2006 12:32

Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't do waxing, ewwww. Moondog, highlights and cut and blow dry (I nearly typed 'job' there!) take nearly 3 hours.

WideWebWitch · 16/09/2006 12:32

Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't do waxing, ewwww. Moondog, highlights and cut and blow dry (I nearly typed 'job' there!) take nearly 3 hours.

riab · 16/09/2006 13:04

I agree with the point that its not fair on the staff often if you take small fry along with you. If I physically can't restrain or comfort my DS because I have a head pasted full of chemicals (hairdressers) I am half dressed or having teeth filled, then why on earth would I assume that its okay to inflict my active boisterous temper tantrum prone DS on the poor staff?
At my local tanning place they have a rule that no children are allowed unless there are 2 adults - ie one to watch the child in question.
At my Dr's there is a toy basket in the waiting room but nothing except sharp objects, valuble medical equipment and medicine in the surgery room.

Make friends with other mums/dads and swap duties. I have 4 friends who in emergancies will look after DS for an hour or two for GP or hair apt. (my DH works 50+ hrs too). Alternativyl find a local childminder with a p/t vacancy. It costs me £15 a week for 5 hrs childcare but that gives me 5 hrs for appointments / resting/ cleaning etc. I think its worth while so I don't have to worry about missed apts or the stress of takng DS with me.

flannelettepyjamas · 17/09/2006 08:14

Speaking as a health worker I don't mind people bringing their kids in to surgery if it's for something quick and fairly simple. If it's for a long chat or a procedure (including a smear) - frankly I'd rather they didn't.
My surgery is as child friendly as it can be but there's still the bin full of used speculums and other delights which I don't always remember to put out of reach. I've had more than 1 episode of a kiddy reaching into that bin!
And if it's a chat about something emotional kids can be very distracting for the parent meaning that they just don't get the consultation they need.
Our receptionists help out if they can, but they are doing a busy job and trying to deal with other patients and answer the phone. It's often not fair to ask them to take care of someone's kids and do their job too.
I'm much more understanding and tolerant about the difficulty of getting a babysitter now since having DD though. I had to take DD to have my bloods taken the other day and she virtually trashed the place. Very embarrassing.

cat64 · 17/09/2006 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jabberwocky · 17/09/2006 20:29

I probably shouldn't own up to this, but no matter how nice the staff seem to be at the time, they totally rag the parents once they leave the clinic when the kids have been out of control. I've been in practice 17 years and now do locum tenem (fill-in) work in different offices, so I can tell you it is a universal reaction. You are then known forever as "that woman with the wild kids, shudder, shudder".

CristinaTheAstonishing · 17/09/2006 23:30

Cat64 - I haven't got anyone to hand over DD for DS's appointments. Tomorrow he's having the 4th since school began. Even a good friend would have got bored by now of looking after my kids.

Children out of control, yes, they don't have to be for an appt to find them unbearable.

fussymummy · 17/09/2006 23:50

My kids go to nearly everywhere with me.
Most appt i try to make while they're at school.
When they were all at home together though, i'd just take them with me.
We have a mobile hairdresser who comes to our house.
My youngest is 3 and me and my partner are still waiting to go out on our own!!!!!!
If we go for a meal, we take them with us.
I can't complain about them, as they're usually very well behaved when we go out, its at home that they play up!!!!!!!!!

Clary · 18/09/2006 00:19

Don't take dc with me for waxing or any other beauty apts tbh. Or haircuts. Too long. Arrange them in my lunchhour (I am lucky enough to WOTH) or in the evening. Ditto doc's apts, tho have taken ds2 (3) to a gynae apt a couple of times (luckily just chatting, no internal!). Really wouldn't want them at a smear test tbh. I'm surprised that so many of you have no alternative than taking them to some of these. My children would never sit still for an hour while I had my hair done.

We all go to the dentist together so that's a bit different.

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