Do you constantly doubt your parenting skills??

[mykidsmum]

I have recently spent a large amount of time reassuring various friends of mine of their abilities as a parent. I cannot believe what a hard time some of them give themselves over decisions that they have made or whether they do enough etc for their kids. Whilst I accept that we all have times where we feel like crap parents is it really the norm nowdays to constantly feel crap about parenting issues. Is this a product of our society, did previous generations beat themselves up in this way ?
FWIW I don't generally do this myself, not because i am smug, but because i love my kids, and above and beyond everything else thats all that matters. By constantly over analysing my parenting skills, I don't feel I will be doing anyone any favours.
So does anyone else know what I'm harping on about?

Like Piffle and Snafu . Though I am genuinely in awe of a particular type of endlessly goodwilled, creative coping mother, the type who is always coming up with enriching projects for the children and manages to do without TV and shouting.

Like other posters, people often say to me how delightful my boys are, but I am too tough on them about the wrong things sometimes.

I don't doubt my parenting skills, no. I do make myself feel bad when I am horrid mummy from hell though! However I do rationalise these bad days with the knowledge that for the most part I do my very best for my kids. As parents we are only human, we are allowed to have bad days and not be perfect!

I too have a number of friends who do really doubt their parenting skills and I too think that we, prents of today, are pretty unforgiving and generally critical of our own abilities and those of other parents. There seems to be this view that everyone should conform to this rose tinted parenting model when in fact we all have very different circumstances and what works for one does not work for one and all.

My dds love going on rides at the fair and my dh always goes with them because I am a wimp. Anyway last summer my dh planned to take them to a fair and then at the last moment his mum was ill and he couldn't take them. I took them but they could only go on the rides they could go on alone. I felt really guilty that they were missing out but I couldn't get over my fear.

Afterwards I thought about it, I do lots of craft projects and cooking with my girls which I know alot of parents don't do because they don't like a mess. I thought that the children have to accept me as I am. Its good for them to know that I am human, I have weaknessess and strengths, just like they do.

I think that should know that they are loved, no matter what they do but that we must teach them what is fair and acceptable. Maybe its all these childcare books on the market although they can be useful, they can give you impossibly high expectations.

Message withdrawn

Just reaslised how completely inarticulate my previous post is. What I meant is that I see so many mums not thinking about their parenting at all when they really should. I see a mum on a bus I take regularly speak to her child so rudely and aggressively. The other day, a little boy on the bus who heard her said to his mum "mummy, that lady's not very nice to that boy." A friend tells me she recently saw a mother drag her two kids, one by one, by the arm very roughly into the back of her car, shouting and swearing at them.

"I too have a number of friends who do really doubt their parenting skills and I too think that we, prents of today, are pretty unforgiving and generally critical of our own abilities and those of other parents. There seems to be this view that everyone should conform to this rose tinted parenting model"

Maybe because we no longer live in small tightly knit communities and extended families, we no longer get to watch others bring up children up close and even participate in it before we are parents ourselves. So we have no experience at all with the every day realities, but a lot of theory from books.

My mum said to me 'with being a mum comes guilt' The number of hours in daycare/watching tv/not watching tv/eating sweets/not eating sweets/not getting amassive birthday present/shouting too much/enjying going to work for someone to call me by my name and not 'mum in a whinge-y voice
I guess we just need to love our kids and do what is right at the time.