Anyone have three children close in age?

[Mog]

I'm really finding it hard going at the moment. Oldest was 3.3 when the youngest was born. She's now 5 and ds1 is 3.5 and ds2 nearly 2. We've just come back from holiday, which was all inclusive and we took grandparents too, and I think I had a taste of relaxing and now I'm thrown back into the chaos.
Dh works long hours so I'm largely in charge of childcare. Dd is at school and ds1 goes to nursery three mornings, but I still find when they are all together I don't get a minute to myself. The house is always a total tip and I think I'm getting a bit stir crazy as I gave up work when number three came along.
Can anyone identify, tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel or give some coping tips. Life just seems to be such a roller coaster at the minute. Also have no family close by to help.

Ok now wishing I hadnt read this thread...pmsl.
My oldest will be 3.3yrs when DB is born and DD will be nearly 13mths.

i have 3 in 4 years. now 6, 4 and 2. I cope by going off to my paid job for some rest and recuperation.
really if you've got any inclination to go back to work anyway, I'd recommend it. it does get you out of the frontline.

I have 5, 3 and 2. It is mad esp the first 6 months of the youngest. Dh also works v long hours. I don't help myself by being very unorganised and far too lazy really (other pple say laid back, but little do they know). House is a tip but something has to give. Eldest now at school, middle one does 2 and half hours per day - its an endless round of pick ups and drop offs, but it does get easier I think. Very boring though I have to say. There was a good thread re the boredom recently. Its the bonkaloon coversations and stiffling boredome that drive me to drink anyhoo.

Thanks for all the replies. I'm thinking of a cleaner but just worry about the strain of tidying for them coming! House always untidy and looks like we've been burgled.
I can never find anything and there is definitely a black hole (e.g one remote control has never been found again). I think when they are close in age you have to be three places at once and day out and in it gets very waring.
Hats off to those of you thinking of 4 - I'd have to be medicated first

And how do you get your three into bed by 6.30. Mine are like a bag of monkies - I loathe bedtime and takes me ages to get them down. Any tips anyone?

Yes, have to admit now the third is walking it melts my heart to have three little faces turned up towards me as I dish out treats.

Yes, have to admit now the third is walking it melts my heart to have three little faces turned up towards me as I dish out treats.

just to add - my three are all teenage and only a year or two between them. have been sp for ten years and has been a breeze

camberwellbeauty - 'heaven and hel in equal measure' - YES!! that is what it is like!

Can I just say I am delighted to hear that so many of you have very messy houses as it makes me feel like less of a slob!

yes camberwellbeauty puts it well

messy house and laundry load do get too much.

but it seems worth it when all 3 play so well together and i can just sit and read the paper or something.

our house is messy, with or without a cleaner. I read those threads on "things that make you go eww in other peoples' houses" and vow never to let a mumsnetter near my house.

I read that thread, fennel, and wnated to drive round in a plane dropping seminal feminist texts on thsoe people's matching handtowels...

krabbiepatty

indeed. it's as if the Feminine Mystique had never been written.

I have 4 but the older 3 were born within 4 years - now 12, 10 and 8 (then 7 year gap til ds3). There is light, and having 2 in school full-time is probably where it starts! Don't worry about the tip in the house, it will only re-start itself. My advice for coping is to put the youngest into a creche/with grandparents when ds is in nursery and just relax/read/go to the gym/swim/sleep! Seriously this is what I did, I got really fit and it gave me the energy to cope when I had them all together. Another tip is to invite other kids to play (as many as you can cope with at once!) because then the favour will be returned and you will find yourself with only 2 or 1 or maybe none for a couple of hours! Make the most of time on your own, it will save your sanity. Maybe get your dh to take them all out on a weekend to give you a break?

I also have three kids - dd 6 next month, ds aged 4 and ds2 aged 2. Before having any kids I used to want four, but am now stopping at three as we can still all fit into a normal car!

I had 3 kids under 3.5 yrs. I always hated that feeling of being completely out of control when every single room in the house was a tip - so depressing.

Always keep the hallway free of toys, shoes etc. so that at least it looks tidy if someone knocks on the door, or the meter reader comes etc.

If you can, try and keep one room reasonably tidy as well so that when you do have visitors popping round, it doesn't look so bad. For me, it's the kitchen which leads straight from our hallway. I shut all the other doors!

The idea of the kids going to bed at 7 o'clock was a distant dream! More like nine or ten and they didn't sleep through either. However, I found it much better to tidy up and go round with the vacuum cleaner in the evening, after they had eaten. My husband and I would then sit down to have our (late) supper in front of the tele in a tidy room which felt like a break. This is a routine we still have today.

I wish I could have believed everyone when they told me it would get easier but IT DOES! So relax and enjoy your children now - they grow up so fast.

I have DS nearly 5 and 17 month old twins(boys too). Twins both now up on feet in the last few weeks, which has added to chaos. We moved house from Birmingham to Cornwall this March and nearest family is 2 hours away.

Amazes me how I can plan what I want to do, and yet (like today) it's 10.00 and I'm still in my PJs, having still not made it into the shower. But the washing up has been done! 4 weeks before twins were born I was working managing people, organising stuff! To go from full-time work to full-time parenting was a shock (4 years of uni for this!). Sometimes it is frustrating that the kids dictate what we do and the house needs a good clean. DH is self-employed and works from home, which is a massive bonus although for the last couple of months he's been working for a company who seem to work 12+ hour days. He hasn't helped bath the boys for....can't remember last time.

Anyway, I've tried to add structure. Toys are boxed up so kids have a limited amount out at any one time (I change them over every so often) this limits some mess and DS1 is able to help pack toys away (boxes were labled with pictures of what went inside although twins seem to have peeled off most of these). Twins still have a good nap in the daytime which helps. With pre-school for DS1 twice a week, toddler group for twins once a week and storytime at our local library I have two days with nothing "planned" to do whatever we like. I've got discount cards or membership for some of our favourite "attractions" to try to make going out cheaper and I take picnics with us. I do big online supermarket shop at least every fortnight which removes one stress. It's taken a while to get to this stage - but the thing I miss about work most is the social interaction with other adults so i make sure I get to what I can just to talk to other mums! Especially as my little social network was ruined when we moved and i have to build that up again. Advantage (?) of twins - complete strangers will always approach you to ask about them!

At the end of the day, we used to pay a fortune in nursery fees for DS1 while we both worked full-time. Now at least I get the pleasure of influencing the boys early years. And, they're all healthy and happy.

DS1 starts school in September. Don't know where his first five years have gone. So, however hard it gets, and however cut off from reality I sometimes feel, it doesn't last long so I'm trying to enjoy it all.

My MIL could write the book - 4 in 5 years with the first two (DH and his arsehole brother) being 10 months apart . Add to that a bastard of a husband who only came home to get her pregnant and make her cook his dinners and you may realise that it could be worse. She says it was chaos for a while, but at least the boys (yes, they were all boys too...aaaargh!!) were good company for each other and are still close. It really doesn't last long, it just feels like it at the time. Chin up, it is hard work but they will be grown up before you know it, and then you'll feel all nostalgic.

My sister can sort of top that as she has 7 children twin boys age 4, twin boy and girl age 6, boy 8 boy 12 and eldest boy 13!!! The last set of twins were prem as sis had pre-eclampsia so they have had some health problems, but all are wonderful children. Every time I feel I can't cope with mine ds 23month and dd 12 wks I think of sis and feel humbled... you all sound like you are doing a great job of raising kids and keeping perspective and a sense of humour... my admiration to you all

MOg, if you get a cleaner from the local paper they don't make always make it a rule that you have to tidy up first. that put me off, but my cleaner just works around the toys, and at least I feel that the house is clean once a week if nothing else.

I've been inspired by this thread to get better at bed times and it has worked beautifully. Tea, bath, youngest to bed with bottle and then stories for the older two. I then sit at the top of the landing to make sure they don't bedroom hop. This has made a huge difference to me as I've reclaimed my evenings. Can't believe it's worked so quickly - hope it lasts.

What a lovely post Camber.

It does get better Mog - sleep and time to yourself is most definately the answer. My 4 boys are 6,5,3 and just 1. Life is non-stop, hectic, noisy, frustrating but also fun and a bit of a laugh at times. Hope you enjoy your new found evenings - do you ever just sit there in total silence and go phew!