Do you grin and bare toddler groups? Is it REALLY worth it for our dc??

[hummingbird123]

In the p&t groups DD (18mo) insists on playing with the exit door, she wont sit, is not intested in nursery rhymes and will scream if she is made to sit down with me, she screams when toys are put away, she constantly wants to go to the newborn babies in their car seats and screams when i tell her no and try and distract her (distaction doesnt work thou) I feel like tearing my hair out but ensure i stay calm all the time as i know she would probably pick up on this. She screamed to go into the painting room, when I get her overalls etc on she refused to play with anyting and had a major tantrum as all she wanted to play with was the actual door going into the room.....not the paint in side..... Or she will have a paddy at the baby gates near other exits.
I do get out with her every morning, as if we didnt i think i would go mad. I am always the mother at the back with the screaming child, I am 27 married and we have a lovely stable home life etc but i feel at groups i am constantly looked down on as though i cant cope with DD etc, she is VERY trying and i love her to bits, but in situations like this i just don't know how to deal with her. The leader of one of the new groups we have started, mentioned to me this week 'is it DD's 1st time in a group like this? Dont worry a pre-school group will be good for her where she will start to learn she has to sit and join in etc etc...' but its not her 1st time, its just how she acts in groups like this.
does it get any easier? Or maybe this is the harsh reality of being a mother of a toddler when they are constanly pushing boundaries? Sorry, bad day rant over.....

I can't stand M&T - if ds wants to do that sort of stuff he can do it at preschool with trained teachers and smaller numbers of children, or he can do it at home with me his devoted mother.

I run music groups and two of the most musical children are always dissappearing off, but when they are engaged in an activity I extend it for as long as possible to gradually increase their concentration and interest.

I loathe M&T groups tbh. Much better to send them to nursery for a few sessions for 'socialisation' and get a break yourself, rather than having to deal with other people and their toddlers as well as your own.
Or go and visit a friend with a child - doesn't have to be the same age as yours, an older one is often much more interesting anyway.

Wow, have honestly found toddler groups bit of a life saver with my 3. Some can be cliquey but I just ignnore them, but tbh most round here are good and not snobby. I would try a few more till you find ones that suit. I think 18months to about ohhh 2.6 - 3 they really enjoy toddler groups. My middle boy is 3.6 and is too old for them now.

If I had 3 children then I would probably like them too, but there is so much else I can do with one child - a trip around the supermarket is more fun.

niceglasses I agree about ages for M&T groups. DS2 is 3 and a bit and starts nursery school every day in Sept. Just thinking today at our (lovely, non cliquey!) group that he's getting a bit big and needs sthg more structured.
Hummingbird, maybe try and find another if the mums are a bit rude.
But as others say, they're probably not even noticing!

Sorry 3bob didn't mean to dismiss your concerns, just my experience. I would stick at it, I'm sure it will get better. I think at that age, they get a lot out of them. If I see someone having a hard time with a kid I just feel sorry for them - I'm sure some of them at your group do. If they are really really stuck up, just do your best to ignore them!!!! 18 months can be a difficult time.......

No advice, just sympathy! ds is 19mths and VERY independent. I see other lo's the same age toddling down the street happily holding mum's hand and obeying instructions...then see ds zoom off at 90mph as soon as he's released from his buggy, fold up and sit down when I try to take his hand (working v hard at letting him know this is not negotiable especially when crossing roads etc etc) and let out an almighty roar when I have to finally thwart his explorations and bring him back to at least an approximation of the direction we are meant to be going in! Having said that, he goes to nursery for a couple of hours each day, joins in beautifully, follows instructions (I was right, it's selective deafness!) sometimes even sits quietly with the others for activities especially painting which he loves.

Can offer no advice other than empathy and the reassurance that other mums have given me that it will pass and with an independent explorer you just have to handle it right and not try and fight it otherwise you end up in tantrum territory. ha, don't need to tell you that do I.....!!!