Calling all mothers of 3 or more children

[Hilary]

Just out of interest, what is it like going from having 2 children to having 3? Does anyone think 3 is a particularly good number to have? I've heard that the biggest change is from 1 to 2 and that after that, the change is minimal - is this right? How do 3 play together - does one get left out? What is a good age gap? Does the sex of the children make a difference? Is it true that the middle one always grows up with a complex?
I sometimes think I would like a 3rd (dh is not entirely convinced...) but I want to know the truth of the matter!

[Adelaide]

With No3 due in July I'm finding reading this thread very encouraging, although our No 2 has been so good I can't imagine we'll be that lucky again! However, main reason for writing is if any of you 3+ parents out there have any advice on getting a bigger car. First two will be nearly 4&2 when No3 arrives. Any recommendations?

[mondo]

Adelaide
We have a Ford Galaxy people carrier its a 7 seater and great coz we can push down or take out back 2 seats for the pram. We havn't yet been away on holiday with all 3 kids so I'm not sure how we will mangage then, I suppose we can always get a roof rack are they still called that?

[Cfr]

We have a Toyota Previa, which is an 8-seater and has reasonable boot space compared with the Espace. We use a roof box (new word for you, mondo!) when we go away.

[janh]

Cfr, that means you still have a spare seat, what are you waiting for???
(Just kidding.)
We used to have a Toyota Space Cruiser, predecessor to the Previa - we had it from when No 4 was a few months old, until he was 8 and No 1 went off to uni (we hardly ever all go out these days.)
We always loved it, even as it got older and creakier, because it's lovely and high for looking out of, and you don't have to take the seats out but can fold the back ones to the sides, and it is incredibly versatile and useful for carrying almost anything - couldn't beat it for big binges at IKEA (had to leave the kids there though )
It took 6 of us camping, with our own kit, when No 4 was only 1 and still needed travel cot, high chair, buggy and big car seat - there are not many cars that could deal with a load like that!
I think from what I've read that the super long Espace is probably the nicest really big one now.

[Alibubbles]

I have a seven seater merc, I wouldn't recommend it for any family over four, especially if you want to take kuggage with you. It's seats or luggage. All I can get in with seven seats up is a single Mclaren umbrella fold, one way round, no food shopping, so you all starve. Great car though, I ordered my new one today for June 1st delivery, so I can't hate it that much!

I had a grand espace for three weeks when my merc was in the body shop, it was HUGE!! It poked out of parking spaces, it was so easy to get kids in and out of and shopping and two pushchairs. BUT.... it drove like a jelly on a hot plate, but did get it upto 112mph (SHHHH!!)

[Alibubbles]

Rozzy, That's exactly what my husband says, but I say 6 inches (more) would be fine! But I still ordered it, even though I haven't tried anything else apart from the Grand Espace, but I had to place the order for June delivery by 31st Jan

[Rhiannon]

I looked at all the people movers and plumped for the Toyota Previa (had a Chrysler Voyager before but had an appalling safety record). We love it and the 2 rear seats fold out of the way when you don't need them. Rear doors slide so easy access and it's also got satellite navigation (can't use it though!). R

[janh]

Rhiannon, we have a Peugeot 406 estate now (it pokes out of parking spaces too) with satnav, it's a complete hoot, it has a posh woman's voice and if you don't go the way she tells you she gets more and more edgy and starts trying to order you about - "you WILL go left at the roundabout" etc.

Do learn how to program it, it is really worth the effort.

[ariel]

we recently bought a vauxhall zafira,its a 7 seater but is much cheaper new car then most other 7 seaters,you,ve probably seen the ads for the zafira and its flex 7 seats i must say its so much easier to fold the seats into the car then haveing to remove them completly.I have absolutly no complaints about this car and it cost no more than an average size family car.

[knakered]

Sorry to come into this late...I know you are on to cars now...but....I have had 3 in 3 years...the last 2 are only 12 mths apart, the hardest bit for me was managing a very very active 2-3 year old whilst being heavily pregnant and then breastfeeding...the middle one was fine even though he wasnt walking. It is hard work from a domestic point of view and when they all "kick-off" at once it can be chaotic...but that only really lasts for 5-10 minutes at a time. Having 3 under school age is difficult -- even nursery a couple of mornings would have given me some space...however I am thinking about no 4....do I get straight on to it ...or wait a couple of years....I would love my daughter the youngest to have a sister (I have 4 and it is wonderful)...but there is a risk of a 3rd boy ...not sure how delighted I would be...any suggestions???

[lou33]

I think I agree with Elvis,the first baby is definitely the biggest shock. Number 2 just sort of fitted in, number 3 was definitely the hardest adjustment after just one, because it turns into army manoeuvres time whenever you have to go out! So when number 4 came along , by that time another one hardly notices beacuse you are already drowning in kids paraphernalia as it is! I have girl, girl, boy, boy, aged 9,5,3 and 1. Four is enough for me so I got sterilised just before Christmas .

[Hedgehog]

I'm a mother of 2 girls and 2 boys (ages 9, 7, 5 & 3). I think the second child was the biggest shock to my system, the third was easy and the fourth just slotted in automatically. Organisational skills are required though, especially as I work full time.

[Marina]

It's nice to see you back, Hedgehog! I was just going to post on the Missing Persons thread. How is the au pair situation going? OK, I hope.

[sml]

Hello Hedgehog, I was wondering how you were getting on as well?

[Erin]

I have three aged almost 2(boy), 4(boy) and 6(girl). I was worried at first because my first two get on really well (most of the time). But once the little one was on his feet he just joined in although there is a bit of conflict between the two boys over toys. I do sometimes feel like the middle one is left out because I had so much time for the first and no sooner was the 2nd born than I had the third (or is that just that time passess faster!!

[threeangels]

I have 3 ages 12, 9, and 17mo. I am so glad I had my third one. My other two love him so much and I love to watch them play with him. They are wonderful helpers and they enjoy it. My daughter wants us to have another one like they grow on trees. Who knows right now. I am glad I waited to have my third. It is a great experience for my other 2 kids to have a little brother around. The only problem I have Is that they always fight on who gets to play with the little one. It has been a wonderful time so far. As long as you show attention to all you should be fine. Having enough attention should be the only thing I would worry about since jealousy seems to be the biggest thing when having other siblings. For me it was a change going from 1 to 2 because I was used to doing things with 1. Since I already had gotten used to 2 three did not make much of a difference after that. Hope that made sense. Good luck in your decision.

[Hilary]

I have just been re-reading this thread as I stumbled across it on my way elsewhere. I just wanted to revive it to ask how all the people who said, 'ask me in 4 weeks', 'ask me in 6 weeks' etc are getting on.

Do any of you still find time to post on Mumsnet? Are any of you expecting no.4? (ha ha!)

[lou33]

Not expecting, but I do have 4!

[triplets]

Hi,
I expect you all know me from some of the other threads. I have four children, though Matthew died in 1994 he a new sister and two new brothers
who are now four. Bringing up my three has been the hardest job I have ever known especially at my age, but....... they are exhaustingly wonderful and special and loved, and I could only feel happier if Matthew were here too. As for cars we bought a Ford Galaxy three years ago and it has been brilliant, we just could never go back to an ordinary car. When they were born and we went on holiday we would have the two back seats out, fill that space, have a top box on top AND a trailer! Now we go minus the trailer and top box.....progress!!