Cod, Moondog, anyone whose dhs are away a lot - how do you stop getting shouty?

[Pruni]

Or don't you?

I can't believe I am shouting at a 2.6 yr old who isn't doing anything wrong. He's v boisterous and consequently I am being battered and bruised on a regular basis. I hate it and just can't wait until dh home, which is making me sadder really.

Want to put him in a room to play by himself so he won't jump on me but he is too young.

Coming back to Fife then Edinburgh

oh i stayed in edinburgh for about 12 years i love it!

stayed in fife too, bit wierd

now in angus

will you have family around you when you move back pruni? is it soon?

In a couple of months - yes lots of family about thank god
VV much looking fwd to it

oh thats nice and soon

you will be less shouty i am positive about it

your ds will be 3 soon and i think you will notice a change then. you can have little conversations and play 'I spy' and things

and your ds will be happier when you are happier when you move back, and you will both be more contented

np xxx

NP very kind words, you're right, thanks. xx

OK random follow-up.
Monday was an awful day, as described below.
I shouted a lot, mostly about ds pulling towels on the floor deliberately. Biggest shoutiest moment we've ever had, which in retrospect is ridiculous. However....and I cannot say this is a consequence of me taking a firm line....we have had the most brilliant couple of days.

As a child, i was quite scared of my mum. She could be really hard-faced and I do not want to be like that. We knew how far she could be pushed though. I have a real internal dilemma, I want a child who basically behaves well - or do I mean and acquiescent child who does as I say and no more no less?

It's just not as simple as they say it is in the books, is it?

I completely understand about the internal struggle Pruni. I think at this age the sort of behaviour you describe is utterly normal and could be disguising the fact that your ds is the most polite and well-behaved boy that ever lived :)

It will all click, I promise. Just try to get through the next 6 months or so without strangling him and you will be laughing.

FZ thanks - a lot of my friends with older children say that...

I have been where you are (still there really). I have more than 1 child and no family nearby and no friends without kids who can take mine b/c I have too many kids. I have tried all of hte above, even locked myself in the bath and cried while my toddlers threw the laundry all over my room (it's funny now, not funny then). Two things work best for me 1. humour-I turn my anger into a joke by doing a crazy scream or roar and say mommy is a turning into a monster and we all start laughing. It breaks the tension and then I don't yell.

The second I heard on dr. phil (ok, but it does work). There is alwasy some trigger before I lose it, for me my cheeks get hot and flushed when my stress goes up, so when I feel that, I walk away from the situation until I calm down.

Finally, you are only human doing a difficlut job so just keep on trying. I bet you yell far less than you really want to.

I agree with all these. I sometimes put a notice up in the kitchen which says " I am not going to shout at the children." It really works, to my surprise.