Playing with your Kids

[UglySister]

How much do you play with your kids? Am I the only one that thinks "playing" is the most dull thing in the world? It drives me insane amd I probably should do a lot more of it! Am I alone here? Isn´t this expaction that parents should play with their kids quite a recent thing?

Yes, also thought it was just me not enjoying this play business.. but do not think we are crap for it! Thanks for some good ideas, esp like the cardboard box and book idea handlemecarefully. Cheers all!

Oh god I'm not alone! I start with good intentions "let's play this" but it's never quite right and then you start playing only to find you're doing it wrong just as you were starting to get into it.

I like doing more practical stuff - cooking and gardening. I guess partly because I am working and I need to get this stuff done (for practical reasons and for me). DS is 4 and loves playing vacuuming atm which is amazing. He gets it out, plugs it in with help and will happily vacuum the lounge for half an hour - and is very thorough!

My mum played with me loads (apparently). She's brilliant at playing with the kids but I have noticed that she says a) I was very good at playing by myself and b) she starts games and gets them going then goes off to make a cup of tea!

I did the 'start game off and then disappear' this morning - I got to almost finish cleaning the kitchen before ds and the lego bin lorry appeared next to me again. It was pretty successful I have to say - just the rest of the day that went completely tits up.

I have played and played and played with my 3 yr old Ds since he was born....I do love it, hearing his thoughts and how his mind works is so precious to me. Which is not to say I never get bored, because I do!!!! But on balance I think playing with him has been great for my connection with him, and for his self confidence, because he does feel at the centre of things....but I am conscious of striking a balance, and want him to be ale to play independently, so now I do alot of starting him off, then disappear to make a coffee or clean the kitchen, and this works well at the moment.

I felt guilty for playing with him too much, which goes to show you can never win at this lark. My MIL used to make pointed remarks that I could 'go and get on with things' while DS played, as if I was a smothering, overbearing mother giving too much attention and turning him into a spoiled brat!! You can't win, girls.

btw, my mum had me and brother so close in age that we entertained ourselves most of the time, don't think we wanted to play with her!!!!

crap mother here,can't abide playing trains or thunderbirds or some other mindless shite.
Used to be better with dd when she was little but then she enjoyed crafty things which I do.Ds hates sitting at a table and doing drawing etc,maybe it's an energy thing?
I do tend to have a guilty spurt of playing with ds after I've been watching dr tanya !

oh this is what I love about mumsnet!! I really do love it, there's me all "it's so precious to me to listen to DS playing" and ggirl "It's mindless shite"

!!!!!!!!

There's probably a middle ground that we should find Ggirl!!!!

lol sparklemagic..so true

I can do things with structure, like board games or puzzles, or art projects, where there's a definite purpose, but I find open-ended, child-led play difficult. DS1 is into Yugi-Oh! at the moment (oh, the very name makes me quake!) and I just can't talk to him about it, I can't...

When they were younger (they're 7 and 4 now) I found that "Babytalk" book really helpful, because of its suggestion that you just watched and commented for a certain time every day. Watching and commenting I can do.

i love all the chasing , tickling, rough and tumble stuff.but hate the making things/painting/.sticking etc i'm so crap at it.
ds1 desperately want s to make a k9 this weekend.my heart is sinking.he'll want me to help and i haven't got a clue.

singersgirl - I agree.

I think I'm a better/more attentive mum if dd and I do something together - usually outside of home. I'd much rather take her to the park, swimming, for a picnic, etc than be inside at home all day.

I think playing is important, but I also think that,as others have said, it is difficult to enjoy every aspect of playing with children. I would say try to get them involved in the things you like doing - for me gardening and cooking, and get somebody else to do the stuff you hate, or don't worry about it. The babytalk book is great for young children.

I agree that if the human child had been designed to play with their parents 24/7 we wouldn't have got very far - you have to do the work to get food on the table some how. I think what is a recent thing is that parents have comparatively more time to spend with their children - 60 years ago, most mothers would have spent 2-3 days dealing with laundry, had to shop every day, spend hours cooking fight constant battles with dust etc. etc.

ba ha ha ha i hate playing with my DD and she is only 14 months old, but she never sticks at anything for more than thirty seconds and just wants to destroy everythign so i just leave her to it....just doesnt come naturally, her dad is her playmate.

im happy to play along with games or whatever (ds 5 and dd 20 months) but after about 15 mins my energy and concentration levels start to dwindle.

i look in awe at all those parents who can sit for hours and play.

i agree that it can be boring to play the games kids want to play (especially really little ones) but i do think it's extremely important to do it anyway. amongst zillions of other reasons, it's going to make them more sociable, they'll love spending the time with you (even if you can only manage a short while - that makes it all the more precious to them!) and the only way they'll ever learn to make their games gradually more varied and exciting is through your example.