Mums of 3 or more - heeeeelllllllpppppp!!!!!!

[KerryJ]

Just had a very unexpected and dare I say 'unplanned' BFP. I've got 2 lovely ds's, one of almost 5 and another of just 13 months. I know I'm only in the early stages of pregnancy but I feel completely panic stricken at the thought of how a 3rd child will impact on our family (ds2 will be 21 months when the new baby arrives).

PLEASE - any tips, feedback from people with similar age gaps, etc? My main concerns are how this will effect ds2 (middle child syndrome?) and of course how it will effect us logistically - what car will I need to transport 3 kids on the school run each day?!

I hate feeling negatively about this pregnancy :(

Congratulations :)

I am expecting my third in July (older 2 are 4 and 6) We also only have 2 bedrooms - yes it will be a squash, but not for a while. I have a peugot 306, and think I will manage fine - dh not so sure thinks we will need a people carrier. No chance on our budget!

Congratulations

I'm expecting no 3 in October. We've just bought a (very old!) Volvo estate so we could fit all the children in! Had to bring our two ds's to the 12 week scan (couldn't get babysitter) and once scan person (radiographer?) had checked size/heartbeat, she showed ds's on the monitor their new baby brother/sister - we'd not told them I was pg. They are really excited about the baby and I have high hopes they'll be loving brothers.

Good luck.

ok so i am 24 (nearly) and have 3 girls. it is bloody hard work i wont lie. it is much harder with 3 the 2 . we are wanting no 4 and have a zafira. there is 4 years between them all . my middle girl is 5 in july and she has resorted to acting quite babyish ,not too bad though. they both love having a baby sister though and they all get on well.

hope this post isnt too negative and if you nedd more info i willbe pleased to help

ps in a rush sorry x

KerryJ, I have three boys. DS1 was just under 5 and DS2 around 20 months when DS3 was born. They're now 11, 8 and 6. Yes, it was hard work early on, but well worth it. There is some truth to the recent humorous thread on third children - you will know what you really have to do, and you will not have time to worry about all the things you worried about with your first. Older siblings will provide the baby with plenty of educational opportunities! We have a Megane Scenic. As for middle child syndrome, I think it's one of those modern luxuries. Did large Victorian families get "tenth child syndrome"? I doubt it!

All the best!

When I had my third, the elder two were 3.5 and exactly 2. We then had a fourth 2 years later. Going from 2-3 was much much easier than going from 1-2, and we barely noticed the 4th!

3 children fit easily into the back of a "family sized" car (we had a sierra) and we had all 3 boys in the same bedroom until we moved when the youngest was 6.

You will find that everything you are worrying about will just slip into place when the baby arrives and you'll wonder why you worried at all.

I have found three hard work but wonderful too. The children are not the work, they're fantastic, but the washing etc can be scary; but hey such is life. Don't be too proud to ask for and accept any help. I wrestled with this for ages thinking I should manage it all perfectly. Accept that some things will not get done to your usual standard for a while. This drove me mad and still does, but there are only so many hours in the day so don't be too hard on yourself.

Mine are a bit older now and play and play together - it's so lovely to watch them inventing games in their own little world. I have vaguely worried at times about how being oldest or youngest or whatever affects them. As an only child myself I have at times tried to treat them all as 'only children' in terms of attention they get etc because that was my own experience of growing up. This is clearly impossible though and every situation has it's drawbacks but is balanced in other ways by different advantages. My children may not get quite so much one to one attention as I did, but I think they have a hell of a lot more fun and company with a brother and sisters than I did, so it's all relative. Your middle child will still be very young when the third arrives. Still young enough to be quite accepting about a new sibling.

We had a Citreon Xsara Picasso when they were still in child seats. Three good sized seats with diagonal belts. Not too much bending in to do them up and a good sized boot.

Welcome to the madhouse! I'm sure you'll find yourself loving it, but understandably feel quite daunted atm. Anyway, whenever I feel it's all too much I read on here of other mums with 4 or more children and it all pales in comparison

Those of you that have three close together - have you found it gets easier as they get older?

Yes it definately gets easier, the hardest part I found has been from 9 to 18 months (the third child) because it was too young to do anything at all for itself, my poor baby girl puts her own shoes on now aged 2 lol

My oldest was just over 3 when the third was born and the workload is overwelming at times. Anyone else give me more encouragement?

I have 3 boys, They are Wonderful and the third was the best decision we ever made.

dont fret its fine :)

Mog, i cut back on everything financially to be able to afford a cleaner and one afternoon per weeks childcare that has made a huge difference to my life.

Yes Angela, I think a cleaner would help me not to feel that all my time is spent doing chores. It's just daunting to think of tidying the place for them coming every week!

I did the same having a cleaner but having every room in the house just right for them to clean puts a huge pressure on you.

It also doesn't work too well if you have a baby that needs to have a daytime nap or feeding regularly.

I stuck with it but have now decided to go it alone on the cleaning front and it's a huge relief actually. I sometimes think that if I am going to go to so much effort to tidy the house within an inch of it's life, I might as well go the extra distance and clean too tbh.

I love having three

except this morning (dh away, trying to get dd1 (6) and dd2 (3) ready for school/nursery while dd3 (2.5 weeks) screamed her head off WAS NOT FUN)

I have a cleaner (she's also a friend) who used to be a nanny - the perfect combination. What it says about the world we live in that she gets paid more for cleaning well, that's for another thread. Sympathy to Enid - that school rush can turn me into a monster in the mornings however, my three are becoming increasingly good at seeing to themselves and each other while I run about like a headless chicken.

Be warned..... I found the step from 2 to 3 almost as bad as 0 to 1 from around the time that dd (no 3) was 8weeks til she was about 15months. ds1 is 5.5 and ds2 is 4 and dd is 17mo. However I do love it, and did at the time too, but it was bloody hard work. I felt in a permanent flap as I struggled with remembering dates and school things and get togethers etc. Now I can almost live without a diary again. Hurrah!My sons are very well trained as far as self sufficiency goes, exceptionally helpful etc but often complain that mummy has no time to play with them any more, as the endless pile of washing mounts up and meals have to be cooked and cleared and jobs around the house and garden need to be sorted etc.

I did most of it on my own as dh is out of the house from 7am til 8pm 5days a week and more often than not on Saturday too. I have no local family help and dont have a nanny/babysitter/childminder person.

If you are good at multi tasking and morphing into an octopus on occassion it'll be a doddle. Good luck!!!

Congrats KerryJ! I have 4 ds. Ages 6,5,nearly 3 and 10 months. Both 3 and 4 were "surprises"!! Lovely surprises though. We have a multipla to get about in, the school run is knackering. I worried about the impact of a 3rd and 4th but once they arrived it all just seemed to slot together.

My biggest piece of advive would be to accept every single offer of help! We had meals cooked for th efreezer when I had ds4 and my neighbour takes big 2 to school some days.
Someone's awake - gotta go.
xx

honeybunny - in same boat with dh never home before 7.30pm, works most of the day Saturdays and abroad for weeks at a time. Got tired of never being able to plan anything so joined Sitters babysitting agency which although quite expensive is excellent and saves having to get my mum to come down from Scotland.

Emmylou- snap, just joined sitters and its been a revolution!! There is life out there!

Congrats honeybunny! I'm even off out tonight for a meal with local reading group girlies and ITS NOT EVEN A WEEKEND!

Ooh what is Sitters like?? I have been thinking about joining them for so long. My eldest is 4.6 and since she was born we have been out maybe 4 times :(

How do they work? Do they come and see you and the children before you go anywhere? The thing that put me off before was leaving the kids with someone they don;t know well.

We neeeeed to get out for a drink!!!!

Hope you are feeling a bit better about everything kerryj - keep us posted :) If you ever fancy a chat if you're having a bad day or whatever I'm on msn ([email protected]) or email [email protected] :)

Zephyrcat - I was sceptical as dd1 & dd2 have had babysitter-phobic periods in the past but my sister used them when we were visiting in London to sit all 5 of our children (hers and mine) so we could go out and as soon as we opened the door and saw the capable looking sitter a wave of relief flooded over me! You may not get to meet them first but they are all well qualified and checked which is more than you can say for local teenagers etc. I do make sure that dd3 (age 2) is in bed and settled before I go out. I'm lucky, she does settle well but even if she didn't I would probably have an even greater need to get out once in a while. Kerryj - I also found that going to a pilates class at my (not quite) local leisure centre once a week saved my sanity. Its not expensive AND THEY HAVE A CRECHE!!! Wish i'd found it years ago. Having three is fun etc but you do need to try harder to get a break every now and then.