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Parenting

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Original poster

Why parenthood is so difficult today

43 replies

OldieMum · 07/03/2006 15:27

See this article in today's Grauniad. I broadly agree. Do others? \link{http://www.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,,1725350,00.html\here}

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CountessDracula · 07/03/2006 15:50

I told my boss that while my child was small I was going to give up taking over the world and do my job in the time allotted. He was pleased that I was honest with him.

CountessDracula · 07/03/2006 15:51

No not at all. The average age for the first is 31 now I think isn't it? So by default a lot of people will be having in their 30s which is why I included it.

Original poster

OldieMum · 07/03/2006 15:51

Try telling that to your Head of Department if you are an academic!

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CountessDracula · 07/03/2006 15:52

Well I am not! However I do have high powered city job and it is not normal to be like that but I can't be arsed to pretend to be soooo interested in politics and self advancement when I am not.

Original poster

OldieMum · 07/03/2006 15:53

Oh well, I just wanted to get some feedback on what I thought was an interesting piece. Sorry most of you hated it. I'm going back to work now!

OP posts:

Callisto · 07/03/2006 15:54

The values I hold as a mother fit in perfectly well in the society I live in. Not only that, the vast majority of people I know have the same or similar values.

CountessDracula · 07/03/2006 15:54

No didn't hate it all I just thought that bit was silly

Bugsy2 · 07/03/2006 16:12

I thought it was interesting OM. I'm not sure quite what point the journalist was trying to make. I don't believe that the UK is anti-babies, in fact the enormous industry that revolves around baby products, would suggest to me that we are anything but that!
You don't actually need any skills at all to become a parent - that is what is quite scary about the whole process. So it doesn't matter whether you were a go-getter before you had a baby of if you were Waynetta slob - you'll end up extending your skill base regardless!

LadyG · 07/03/2006 16:49

Some good points about women's unpaid work and its value to society and about how out of touch politicians and high-flyers can be. However-she is of course exaggerating wildly to back up her theories-Im much more of a consumer now than before-darling son's clothes toys kit etc plusnumerous wardrobe overhauls to cope with size changes of pregnancy and post natal period. IME you get nothing but support and praise for being preggers -and then with a small baby everyone seems astonished that you turn up to any social event looking half decent. You look fantastic is the usual comment (and I dont-havent had a full nights sleep in 6 1/2 months)

mousiemousie · 07/03/2006 16:58

I think the article is a good one. It is a huge issue for the women I work with how they will arrange childcare and how they will return to work.

niceglasses · 07/03/2006 17:04

Broadly agree too. The issue isn't about coats for me I'm afraid. I have 3 under 6 and going back to work to cover childcare costs just seems mad, so it almost seems there is no choice for me. I asked my employer for a 2 yr career brk to see me through getting my eldest to schl, but they said no. My choice (sort of) to have 3 kids, but the argument is wider than that, and er, not about coats.......

Kathy1972 · 07/03/2006 18:01

Re consumerism - clearly Madelaine Bunting does not know about whoever it was on that other thread that had 26 buggies!

CarolinaMooncup · 07/03/2006 18:27

Glad I'm not the only one on this thread who thinks Madeleine Bunting is a Good Thing.

I've experienced a lot of what she describes (my firm's "part time option" was working from home one day a week, for example), and being 29 when ds was born I did go straight from go-getting mode to mum mode and it was a total shock which I'm only just recovering from.

The 29-buggy thing is just another example of consumerism overriding straightforward parenting imho. It's not enough for us just to be parents putting kids in pushchairs - we need to push "design statements" now (fgs!).

Janos · 07/03/2006 20:07

Astually I thought this was a good article and raised some interesting points (so there you go, oldiemum, I'm another one!)

drosophila · 07/03/2006 20:24

I work for the Civil Service and wanted to return 3 days a week and term time Taking unpaid leave in the school holidays). Eventually I was told that they could NOT accommodate my tern time request. Get this the Job is in HR. Now if the Gov's own Civil Service and an HR section to boot can't provide flexible working then who will?

Parenting is difficult today for different reason to our parents. My Mum had 5 kids no electricty or running water for the first two kids and no bathroom untill the youngest was 3. SHe never worried about money though and she had family around who helped out on occassion.

emkana · 07/03/2006 20:25

I liked it too and thought there were some valid points being made.

getbakainyourjimjams · 08/03/2006 09:00

"There is no kudos in being a mum, only in being other things - such as thin, or the boss - despite being a mum."

So stop caring for goodness sake.

Like CD thought it was all a bit silly, and agree with SP that by "society" she's talking about her tiny circle.

pablopatito · 08/03/2006 10:14

Me: "I fancy having a baby"

Dp: "Ok, take your clothes off"

Guardian: "The anti-natalist bias is implicit in many of the influences that shape our sense of self and purpose, our identity, our aspirations and our understanding of success and the good life. That bias is evident in our consumer culture and ourwork culture."

When I read the Guardian I often think there is some kind of parallel universe out there that I am so not a part of. I sometimes wonder how I've managed to remain on the outside of this "society" that it keeps describing to me.

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