organising your time at weekends

[Jellyfish]

Any advice appreciated on this one.

Need some organisation tips please! It's Monday and I'm feeling a failure again having achieved next to nothing at the weekend. I only work part-time and only have one dd (2.5 yrs) and I always look forward to the weekends thinking that that is when I will get lots of things done (when dh looks after dd) plus have some time for myself. But always seem to get less done than usual! How do parents find time to do the things they need to do: do the food shopping, do the ever-present "chore" shopping (eg buy a birthday present or child's shoes etc) maybe go out together for a walk or some other activity, perhaps cook Sunday lunch or even go to church plus all the other extra office/domestic stuff that needs doing and fit it all in? I always end up stressed and disgruntled. No time for relaxation at all plus dd plays up more when there are two of us looking after her. Are my expectations of weekends unrealistic? Is all this normal or am I just crap at organising myself?? Then there seems to be no time during the week and stuff is waiting to be done again until the next weekend when - wait for it - it doesn't get done!! Help! This is really getting me down ....

I think one factor is whether you live in a house that is 'finished' or needs work doing. Also whether your work ever spills over into non-work time. Both of these things occupy hours and hours every week for me, planning and organising home improvements and doing tax, VAT, and general job admin. Plus the complexities of home finances, and generally loads of admin. Every post brings with it at least 4-5 things that need a response, I find, and another 2-3 which need filing.
Our weekends always start up & early but I cannot think of a time when we have ever, ever been able to 'mooch about the house'. We do go to a cafe at least on one day if not two, and either DH or I can read a few pages of the paper whilst the other supervises drawing (or occasionally whilst kids draw on furniture with felt tips leading to much blaming of each other by me and DH as to who was in charge). then there is the library to go to, occasional trips for clothes shopping, other errands, all DIY and garden stuff )not that the garde gets a look in) PLUS any family outings and trips, swimming all together one morning, and efforts by me and DH to fit in some exercise.
we both work very long hours (out of house 7am to 7pm) although I only work 3 or 4 days a week and spend one day entirely concentrating on DD and DS. As a result there is no time to do anything else at all on work days but make packed lunches for next day and sort out basic household running.
I yearn for the day when I feel EVERYTHING is done and I can 'mooch'!

sorry havne't read thread.

food shopping: i do it during the week, in the evening if necessary, but pref in the last 15 mins before work. markets, corner shops etc much quicker than big supermarkets.

"chore" shopping for children's gifts: same: develop a few standby gifts or focus on one shop where you get to know the stock well -for me it's books, so I know what they have or ring them to order in what I want and pick it up v quickly.

maybe go out together for a walk or some other activity - atm ds is small so we tend to leave proper walks for when it's just dh and me, but we wander to the park/ducks for an hour or so before supper.

Sunday lunch - if a roast, it takes 10 mins to slam it in - don't do loads of complex stuff with it - do baked pots not roasties and do roast veg so you just chuck them round the joint. if still a prob, make Friday night supper your big meal and eat leftovers during the weekend

go to church - if you are at all religious then try reinstating a Sabbath. You just aren't allowed to shop or do housework that day. All of a sudden, loads of time to relax (too much sometimes, can be quite dull, you get keen to do stuff like teach religion school cos it's less dull) and the rest of the stuff does get done somehow.

Office/domestic stuff - i bet you're organised at work - get one In, Pending, Filing set of trays, keep writing paper envelopes and stamps in it and go through it once a week. Chuck out catalogues etc that 'might come in handy' - either buy something now or bin it.

i start on friday nights! friday nights are usually when i stay in and go on a cleaning blitz after the girls go to sleep.

i usually have a load of washing at the ready - sat. morning, i just turn it on.

sat. afternoons are generally for bulk baking and cooking.

every fortnight, we go to the farmer's market to shop, so any other shopping is just top ups.

I really marvel at those of you (Speedymama & Roobie) who have time 'left over' as it were . I must be doing something seriously wrong, because I've always got so many things that I should or could be doing that my head spins just thinking about them! I aspire to getting to that point though!!
Definitely agree with Hovely about living in a finished house. Ours is currently undergoing renovation (and will be for some time yet as can't afford to do it all at once) and as we are always moving stuff from room to room, everything takes longer and the simplest things are unecessarily stressful.

I prepare really healthy food (a personal priority) and that seems to take up masses of time, even though I make in bulk and freeze.

Since starting this thread, things are definitely improving though (thanks all )!! I've tried to ring-fence times to do things and impose more of a structure on my days off and that has definitely helped. I've taken your advice IssyMum - my daughter is much more likely to settle in the afternoon having been out and done an activity in the morning - thx! Loved the last para of your post - have definitely scaled back my expectations - which has helped alot too (thx)!!

Will definitely try to instigate acnebride's advice about getting food shopping done in the week (combination of delivery + going to market)and must confess that my home office is pitiful - desperately disorganised - so loads of room for improvement there. Need to have a serious de-clutter.

It IS a question of changing one's mindset I think. As expatinscotland suggests, better to start on Friday night with a plan and be more disciplined throughout w/e. If I'm honest I used to think I was "owed" a relaxing w/e but always felt too guilty to really enjoy the time I wasted. Now I think I may as well crack on and get stuff done as then feel have really "earnt" forty mins reading the papers!! As speedymama said originally, the quicker you get the chores over with, the more time you can spend doing what you really want to do ... . Looking forward to starting "weekend three" of new system now!!

Jellyfish, Well done, you are on your way and I reckon by summer, you will have so much more time on your hands that you will be seeking out things to do . I've just decided that I'm going to start knitting DTS hat, mittens and possibly a jumper each for this winter. I'm also going to start growing veg in my garden as well start running again in order to do a couple of 5k and 10k races this summer. Being organised gives you more time to do more things or just relax. Good luck!