Does anyone do Montessori at home?

[EBDTeacher]

I've been moving this way pretty much by accident.

I'd love to say my home looks like this (scroll down) but it doesn't.

I am seriously drawn to the lack of clutter and allowing DS to be more in control of his environment though because it sounds like less work for me.

Am I turning into a lentil weaver? Is it unreasonable to throw away all plastic tat and put out 3 wooden toys in front of a mirror for DS?

Looks lovely... but it's a good day if I get the washing up and laundry done here, never mind remodelling the house. If you've got the time/means then go for it!

I'm not entirely sure how this is different from a normal house to be honest, apart from less plastic stuff. I don't know anything about Montessori but I have DS's toys on a low shelf so that he can reach them and don't have loads because otherwise he plays with things for a milisecond before moving onto the next thing.

I have a lot more than 4 books though! But my DS will read about 10 with me together, and likes variety.

It looks like a nice neat room but I'd be interested to see what it looks like at 5pm.....

TBH, although I admire the level of tidying, I am more of a fan of being able to make a mess and explore rather than having a lot of things all set out perfectly. But each to their own - it's only what works for us.

I would say most people I know with young kids have a lot of stuff out for them. Or toy boxes which get emptied every day and then packed away in the evening- which is what we used to do.

I've recently given DS 2 low shelves and am just putting out 5/6 complete toys (i.e. all the bits there, nothing broken) for him and I do think he plays a lot better. However, we too have loads of books. Some people I know would be about having so few toys- I know people with a branch of Toys r Us in their living rooms!

Just wondered if anyone else went minimalistic with toys/ little people stuff- whether following a philsophy or not!

No philosophy apart from my DS is only 21 months so haven't had loads of time to accumulate, he likes doing "things" like park, swimming etc over toys as such, and I find that if he has more out, he doesn't really play with them anyway, whereas if they are away, he kind of actively seeks them.

We keep ours in his playroom, I would hate to have toys cluttering up the living room - this kind of helps as we can make that room totally child friendly. I appreciate not everyone has the space.

Interesting to hear how others do stuff, I always like to get tips!

My DS is 21mo too.

Sadly we do not have a playroom. I would love DS to have one but it's not going to happen with the commuter-belt property prices.

He is also very into the great outdoors and swimming although, that said, he has been pushing his trains through tunnels made of wine crates and poster tubes for 25mins so he's not bad at playing at home either.

All this started because I have chosen a very purist Montessori pre-school for DS to start at next summer and they made a point of saying that they wanted families to embrace Montessori at home. I was a bit about that but actually a lot of it does make sense. Basically about adapting their environment to support them to be independent in their explorations and making sure they 'happen across' appropriate learning opportunities. Common sense really but it has made me think about our house from DS's point of view a bit more.

The problem I have with Motessori is the lack of creativity. To play with a jigsaw you have to get out a mat. Get out the jigsaw that is already made up. Take the pieces out. Put the pieces back using the little knobs on top. Put the jigsaw away. Roll up the mat. Put the mat away.

I understand the thinking behind it. The mat gives the child their own space to play. Using the knobs helps with their fine motor co-ordination. But what about if the child wants to see if those jigsaw pieces fit in another jigsaw? Or put them in a line to be a road for some cars.

The Montessori argument against this is that you wouldn't use a violin as a hammer. Of course there are limits and with a jigsaw I like to make sure all the pieces are there when we put it away. I wouldn't let my children see if a cardboard jigsaw piece floats. But I think that Montessori is too rigid. There are other ways to make sounds from a violin than just with a bow. As long as a child isn't damaging or breaking something then most ways to use it are fine.

Sometimes not having all the parts for a game or toy means that the children have to use their initiative and imagination to work out what to do. So while I think there are some really good bits to the Montessori method, I wouldn't make my house quite so pure.

That's interesting - I do find that DS puts different bits of toys together - so he might use his stacking boxes as a garage for his cars, or "post" pieces of jigsaw through the slot in his little tent. I can't imagine saying "no, you must only do jigsaw with your jigsaw". I don't know anything about montessori though so maybe they don't say that.

I don't mind the pre-school being like that as I can see some positive things in it but I wouldn't be that rigid at home. I don't mind how DS uses his toys. It's more which toys he has and how he accesses them that I'm interested in from a home point of view.

Also how he accesses other things like his snacks and drinks and shoes.

Apparently Montessori didn't think children should do dressing up or small world play until they had 'grasped the concrete' which I wouldn't implement at home. I couldn't deny DS his garage! He gets something out of it whatever Dr Montessori thought.

Maybe I have to much time on my hands.

Could you explain what you mean about accesses his snacks and shoes?

That's interesting - what exactly is small world play? Is that like make believe?

What kind of things/types of play does Montessori recommend?

As far as I can gather the idea is to make them as independent as possible within their environment. So fruit available on a low table for example. My friend has had her (now 2.4yo) DD in a Montessori day nursery from 6mo and she can peel an orange or a banana for herself. I'm not sure whether DS can do that or not because I always do it for him- which I am questioning myself on.

On the other hand DS is very god at asking for a snack and telling me what he wants which is a very useful skill in itself.

It is also suggested to put clothes out in low baskets so they can choose what to wear themselves, with support of course. That is another thing I have never done, I always choose DS's clothes and just put them on him. He does have access to his shoes though and can put his sandals on himself.

Small world play is like playmobil/ dolls house type stuff where you use figures as people in an imaginary 'small world'.

Montessori activities cover lots of areas but I think the youngest kids start out focusing on 'practical life' activities where they practice things that help them to become independent (buttoning or threading or pouring for example) and 'sensorial' activities which develop their perception of shape, space, measure, colour etc.

A bit dubious about this bit:

"Next to the mirror is the book shelf, where we keep just three or four books at a time. This makes it really easy for the children to return the books carefully to their place when they're finished"

Yeah, because the most important thing about literature is that you should learn to put it back tidily on the shelves.

Not for us.

Also very about having a fish tank at floor level in the same room as an active toddler who is encouraged to explore. Fish are sentient creatures who get stressed out by vibrations (such as toddler's banging on the glass); they're not just a toy to develop precious Finlay's creativity. If you can't keep animals in an environment that minimises stress to them, you shouldn't be keeping them. At least cats can defend themselves and will claw a tail-pulling toddler; fish can't.

It is quite sweet and regimented tidy, but it also looks as if The Seven Dwarves live there.
On saying that my dd attends a Montessori nursery and she loves it. She always refers to what she's done as "Her Work" he he . She is quite pedantic about tidying up which is good. as i'm a slattern.

We've had Finlay before on these threads, haven't we?

Finlay the Expected Baby and Finlay the Baby.

The one I'm looking forward to is Finlay the Teenager. Finlay Gets Laid. Finlay's Soothing Corner To Stack His Hormones In. Finlay's Special Wooden Chair For Telling His Parents That They Are A Complete Threat To His Street Cred.

Haha. I hadn't actually read that woman's blog, just looked at the pictures. I have read it now and she is clearly bonkers.

It wasn't her I was considering pursuing!!

ThePathanKhansWitch has your nursery ever suggested you implement Montessori at home or have I just found some real Montessori nutters ?

I don't know anything about Montessori - I was about to research it when looking for nurseries but the waiting lists were so long anyway that I didn't.

But this woman refers to her 'children' but talks only about Finlay. Does she just ignore them once they aren't toddler age or does she have an issue with plurals and singulars? (If so, I hope she isn't going to home ed Finlay.)

Yes EBD they do/did, I got her a mop and bucket from ELC and she drowns mops the bathrooms . I think most of it is what you'd do anyway: letting them cook and make a complete mess of your kitchen, letting them garden.
I remember when she was tiny I went to a sure start centre to do Baby Massage or as it was known in our house Baby Torture Class, and they gave us a great leaflet on Heuristic Play. I made her up a treasure basket, full of everyday things, wooden spoons, jingle bells, measuring cups,sealed bottles with dry beans in, that sort of stuff.
The first time she played with it was an eyeopener, for hours she sat there, all the money i'd spent on Fischer -Price overpriced tat , and a pot scrubber kept her occupied all day. Oh well you live and you learn.

Let's hope when she speaks of our children's book collection that she means "Finlay and any other children we may subsequently have", and that when she speaks of the children loving to throw themselves from the sofa she means "Finlay and his chums" or possibly "Finlay and visiting half-siblings". If she does actually have other children living in the family and they are kept out of all the picture and the blog as if they didn't exist, then that would be totally creepy. There's enough about the wonderful trumpet playing dad.

Oh cory I love you, you're hilarious and everything you said made me giggle and nod furiously in equal measures.

It's all very sweet and perfect and smug as hell lovely isn't it? Hmm, lets just see how Finlay feels in ten years time.

There's a grandparent who is around a lot at pick up at school and the preschooler she has with her is a little brat, running up to other kids and pulling their bikes/scooters away, saying mean things, screeching NO NANNA, GET OFFF when the Nanna tries to placate the child. I hear her saying (a lot) 'oh, they're all montessori nursery kids my grandchildren, they're all very bright and free spirited'

I think the idea of making children able to get a snack etc isn't a bad idea - although if I left stuff at DS' level there would be a lot of apples with two bites taken out of them....

My DS also loved the real "stuff" that he played with as a baby - we were a bit poor after a house move so I ended up giving him pots of rice, bath plug etc to play with and to an extent that has influenced me in not buying loads of plastic. However, at this stage his fave toys are plastic cars and a dolls pram (to transport plastic cars) .
It is interesting to hear about other philosophies - would be a fascinating area of study in 30 years to see how the various "types" of children turn out (Gina vs attachment vs no parenting books vs Baby Whisperer vs benign neglect etc!)

I do montessori at home. But not like finlay's mom!

From my interpretation of it, it consists of 3 things:

1. Setting up your home to allow your children to make their own choices about what they do - so yeah, just put some toys on a low shelf! You see what they are interested in, and then follow and encourage that.

2. Encouraging a set of behaviours, that are all things we want our kids to be: respecting each other, respecting their belongings (e.g putting finlay's books back on the shelf!), taking care of themselves and their belongings (e.g. learning to wash their own teeth, wiping up their spills).

3. Giving them activities that teach them real skills, e.g. pouring water from a jug into 4 glasses and back again, and also that teach them about the world through all their senses (e.g. smelling different dried herb pots, science experiments, etc).

As with all these philosophies, its about taking the parts that make sense and are useful for you, and ignoring anything you don't agree with. Montessori nurseries traditionally started about age 3 - 5. I think for younger kids some of the stricter rules shouldn't apply. E.g. take pouring, my DS aged 26 months loves pouring butterbeans but doesn't do it from one jug to another, but all over the carpet, into his hands, picks them up and feels them, etc. I think this exploration is just as beneficial to him than the basic pouring, so encourage it.

I found these two books really good for ideas both on the montessori philosophy and games/activities to do around the house.

www.amazon.co.uk/Montessori-Play-Learn-Parents-Purposeful/dp/0091752140/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1339092576&sr=1-4

www.amazon.co.uk/Can-Play---learn-Activities-Montessori/dp/1847731627/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1339092576&sr=1-3

Hope that helps a bit!

Thank you chocolateygoo I have just ordered both of those books, they look great.

Sorry - just had to go and lie down for 10 after nearly killing myself laughing!!! It's is QUITE clear no child has been in this room and if one had it would not be looking like that !!!!!!

That woman has far too much time on her hands, seriously! If you want to know what Montessori is all about, just bloody read 'the secret of childhood' by the woman herself. Most of what she says is fairly straightforward and common sense, it's not about fancy-pants wooden toys and expensive nurseries.. She didnt really believe in any sort of purpose-built toys, she thought children should have roles and jobs to take on, like mini-adult chores. So a very traditional Montessori 'toy' would be a pair of old boots with a polishing set. She didn't believe in picture books, just books with words. I think she very much believed in children being involved in purposeful activity, she didn't seem to think children should really 'play' as such. Montessori's ideas are somewhat dated and lots of research has found that 'pretend play' that involved metacommunication and metarepresentation is vital to a child's social development.

Yes, I agree that woman is bonkers butterfingerz.

I do have The Secret of Childhood and have dipped in although I haven't got round to reading it cover to cover. I don't want to buy anything 'wholesale' rather, as chocolateygoo says, pick bits that work for us. I do actually know quite a lot about cognitive development, but in quite a clinical, neurological way. It's a bit different when you're loking at your own baby. I think I could easily fall into the trap of treating him like a baby forever- so the Montessori emphasis on independence would probably be good for me!

I'm not really asking for information about Montessori methods- I can indeed find that out for myself. I was more interested in whether anybody else deliberately used bit of Montessori at home and their experiences of it.

How does putting out a limited selection of toys and books encourage independence? Surely you are controlling which toys and books the child has access to even more than if they are free to choose what they want to do from the full range. Or have I misunderstood something?

I also don't understand the point of only using things for the purpose they were intended. I love the way DD1 will play tea parties and serve up anything from dried pasta to hair clips to magnetic letters as food. Shows much more imagination than anything I could come up with. Isn't that a good thing?