How often does your 6/7 year old have friends home after school?

[Spidermama]

Also, do they tend to invite the same person or do they have lots of different friends home?

No Twiglett, you must be a woman with a lot of energy and warmth! Do you not mind though that all your dd's playdtes aren't reciprocated?

I agree lonelymum. I usually manage to return the favour when DD1 has been to someone else's but that's about it. I'm usually too worn out by 3.30 and I do the fretting thing about them having fun, eating food etc.

Probably averages out to once/week... some of the ones that we host (DS rarely gets invited elsewhere ) are mixed playdates for 4yo DD, too. I always take the initiative, DS only suggests that he goes to other people's houses, never suggests that we invite his friends around.

they are reciprocated lonelymum .. but probably not 50:50 tbf .. but then I live the nearest to school ..

sometimes I think they're more playdates for me because the kids keep my kids amused .. we don't usually do anything special they just run off and play mad games and tbh we sit in the kitchen, ignore the kids, chat, other people make the coffee .. I put on something easy for dinner .. everyone helps

Sounds lovely Twiglett. I can see why you do it so often!

about once or twice a week. I try to rig it so that one goes out and one comes in. Very handy for occupying mine, esp the DTs. All the friends are still rather thrilled by the DTs which means I can get a lot done, or read the paper!

i have only recently realised what a bad mother i have been. It seems it's the norm to have other peoples kids around but i have never done it more than twice in the last 10 years

i have had mums come round WITH their kids though but tbh that was more when mine were under school age.

i have invited a boy from ds2 class for tea next week but i am a bit worried about it tbh, will they get on? should i do something planned with them? will said boy want to go home 10 minutes after entering my mad house? eeek!

ds has never had a playdate! He is 6, and in yr2. He does occasionally ask, but as I work full time it is just too complicated to organise, and the only boy that he really wants we never managed to fix a date (this was when dh was a SAHD). It doesn't seem to bother him much really. dd on the other hand has had several invitations already (started reception in September). She is a very sociable soul, and we will have to figure some way of arranging things, but I think it will be difficult.

I have to admit that I am crap at this. My kids have their step brother and sister one night every week and share weekends with them (same ages) and I feel that this gives them a chance to have play time with other kids. There are other reasons though - we are busy every night except one with activities and in all honesty I quite like having time with my kids on their own! Then there is the 'stay for tea' issue - if my kids have gone on play dates they are returned after tea at 6pm and when I have the child back for a playdate I feel that I should also do the same - but we don't eat until 6.45 - 7pm and then we eat unusual food apparently! Finally sods law but the Mothers I do like usually have kids of the opposite sex to mine so it would be my worse nightmare to have to entertain some of the parents of the kids who my kids are friends with! I sometimes feel that I should make more of an effort so at least my ds who is 4 builds up friendships in his class but my DD7 seems to be doing OK (justifying my actions here!!!!!)

rarel;y

When I was a sahm it was lots of different friends, a core of about 6 of them I suppose and it was prob at least once a week, sometimes 2/3. But then other weeks he'd be at their houses so it all evened out. I started the asking when he first started school (he's 8 now) and now he asks/I offer when I'm around, it's a combination.

well after tonights i think it may be another 10 years before it happens again

Oh dear ff. What happened?

Every other week on average I guess. Often child-led, but if dd is having a hard time at school from someone, for example, I will suggest that she invites someone else round to encourage other friendships. Ds less often; he just doesn't ask as much I suppose, but still once every few weeks or so.

Fantastic tamum! I tried to tell you on the thread which has now dropped off.

We put a headlouse plucked from his head underneath and it was amazing. We could see blood pumping through it and could even see the hairs on its feelers. DS was running around the room in circles going, 'I LOVE my microscope. I LOVE my microscope'.

Thanks for your help with that one. Great call.

It used to be at least once a week but it's quite rare now. We've joined a gym and we go swimming 3-4 times a week and one day he does tennis and Woodcraft Folk, so there just isn't enough time anymore. DS (6) seems to prefer swimming to having friends round for playing and this suits me too.

DS2 (7 in May) doesn't have any formal playdates. We have 6 boys in the street in his school year (not all from his school though), so when it's not raining they play out in the street together, or in each other's gardens. But I rarely have anyone in the house, or have any 'organised' playdates - it just doesn't seem necessary.

Oh, I'm so glad Spidermama! I kept meaning to find the thread to see. I was also meaning to ask you if you's seen this book and this one , which might go nicely with it

Thanks tamum. I'll certainly investigate those.

Probably not as much as I should, but if I'm honest I find it a big strain because I have two pre-schoolers with me all day too. When I do it, I do it for dd because she asks or we owe one anyway or it helps her socially at school. I'm sorry but I don't naturally gravitate towards this kind of thing.

Other mums I know up the ante because they have the time or inclination. Mostly it boils down to time and the number of children they are dealing with in the family anyway. I know one who has turned 'tea' and now sleepovers (oh god) into a mini career.

well nothing horrible happened spidermama but it was REALLY hard work.
ds2 was soooo hyper that just listening to him was stressing me out, it was all 'no no XXX don't do that, ooooo mum he's takin food upstairs' etc etc.
i explained to the friend that in our house we eat our food in the kitchen, take shoes off etc but he didn't take alot of notice.
I hope he didn't go home telling his mum i was really bossy though!
ds2 ended up going to bed crying, due to being over excited and tired i think.

Aww ff! That sounds familiar.