My niece recently gave birth to her first baby and was complaining that no-one told her about the really difficult stuff of being a first-time mum. Such as colic, teething, reflux etc. I'm trying to get her to join Mumsnet as I think she'll benefit from the support so I want to link this thread to her (and it's also why I've changed my posting name so she will recognise it instantly).
So, be honest and tell me what you found most difficult with your first baby and what advice you would give to others.
For me, it was the colic and breastfeeding. I felt under quite a lot of pressure to keep going with the breastfeeding even though it bloody hurt and I got mastitis. I also remember the sleepless nights just walking up and down with her screaming over my shoulder and feeling so very shite, frustrated, angry and helpless. Then feeling guilty that I couldn't stop her from crying.
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Parenting
What did you struggle with most when you had your first baby?
GummyBearGrandad · 23/03/2012 14:32
Definitely the loss of freedom and not being able to do thing spontaneously...like nip down to the shop or to the post box which would have only taken me 5 minutes before, but was now a military operation.
Oh, and the sleep deprivation and what giving birth actually does to your body. I was not prepared for that!
I did have problems with breastfeeding, and I was doing it right and it still hurt (sometimes still does and DS is 18 months now 
). But one day it all just became very natural and I don't even know when!
The loss of identity, the crippling self doubt and the bone-crushing tiredness.
The books just don't mention that you are no longer you are MUM.
I think I started to get a bit of 'me' back when dd1 was about six months old. I thought I'd still be the same person and that the baby would just slot into my life, I had absolutely no idea how much she would takeover. I struggled at first but found it much easier to cope once I just gave into it. Now I have dd2 and I don't know who I'd be without my girls, but I still grieve sometimes for the person I once was. She's coming back slowly, just with a dodgier haircut, mum jeans and yoghurt kisses on her clothes 
I can look back and laugh now but I thought I'd know what to do because I'd read plenty of books! Ha! And even when you know what to do really you are possessed with just so much self doubt that you agonise over the tiniest little decision. I found I still do this with DC2, albeit less so.
And the tiredness! You will now understand why sleepdeprivation is used as a form of torture. When you have a bad night pre kids at least you know at some point you can have a nap or early night to catch up. But when you know there is absolutely no chance of this in the next five years or so, it really can be enough to make you want to cry.
Forgot about the fatness, that's crap too.
First six months/year for me boiled into one big pot of mind-numbing tedium, and I don't even think I had PND, just assumed that was normal!
Thankfully I had work to take my mind of it, and of course they are worth it in the end. Just. 
I BF in the hospital but found it unbearable to sustain at home. I was in the hospital for a few days too. I switched to FF at home and don't even think about it now.
The main thing for me was an overwhelming feeling of being On Duty. At All Times. I even have a very supportive DH who will take DD out, do feeds, get up in the night etc etc. But for at least the first month, I almost felt I couldnt breathe as I didnt have room for that. If that makes sense. I used to ask "can I go in the bath?" DH would be 
ermm....why are you asking??
I would go to bed in the evening with the baby as I was exhausted but not be able to sleep incase DD woke and needed me (erm....you'd hear her wake, and newborns are very rarely awake).
Once I got to around 6 weeks, I felt a lot more free, and when taking time out actual felt the benefit of it.
In more recent weeks, DD is now 18 weeks, I have struggled through her being unwell twice while being poorly myself. That has been hard. When I have had flu in the past (pre baby) I could take myself off to bed for 24 hours and sleep it off. Well, helpful DH or not, its really not an option with a 4/5 month old. She has been whiney and fluey, needing to sleep but not being able to and I just sit there saying "mammy knows how you feel" as I feel exaclty the same.
So to sum up
*The overwhelming feeling of responsibility
*Both mum and baby being ill at the same time
Someone mentioned loss of identity, and I can completely relate to that. I had my son at 18 and none of my friends had children, I felt isolated, and lonely. My mum always told me the first few weeks were the worst, and buggering hell was she right. The monotony of it really got to me, the fact that I couldn't leave the house without a 15 minute preparatory exercise and checking I'd picked up everything I needed, only to get ten minutes up the road and realise I'd forgotten something anyway; drove me mental. I'd been preparing myself for this bundle to be handed to me for 9 months, yet I had this overwhelming realisation that I was responsible for this child and I didn't know how I was going to do it as soon as I met him.
I'm now... Well, quite a bit older 
... and expecting my fourth child in October. I'm still absolutely bricking it.
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How much it hurt to wee
And like others have said- how long it takes to just pop and buy milk!
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