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Original poster

Whats the best piece of advice?

53 replies

daisiesinaline · 02/01/2006 10:19

Whats the best piece of advice someone has ever given you with regard to coping with babies and/or bringing up children?

My HV said to me when I had DS1 (he was a particularly difficult baby)

"If you are having a really bad day and feel like you are going to lose it, put him down in his cot and walk away. Go downstairs, make yourself a cup of tea/have something to eat. He will come to no harm and by the time you are ready to go back to him he would have either have stopped crying or you will feel calmer to deal with him"

I would like to thank my HV for that advice. It still sees me through with baby no 3. Thank you.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
hercules · 02/01/2006 10:20

Dont bother with hvs.

notasheep · 02/01/2006 10:22

Youll manage.
And we do.

edam · 02/01/2006 10:24

Ignore all advice/experts unless they happen to say something you feel like doing anyway.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
welshboris · 02/01/2006 10:25

Dont read books by experts

hercules · 02/01/2006 10:26

Oh yes, second not reading books by experts.

Flamesparrow · 02/01/2006 10:26

pmsl Hercules - kinda makes the thread null and void now!!!!

Probably for me... "Your baby doesn't hate you" A particularly hysterical night early on, and my friend listed all my fears to me (DD would cry hysterically if I held her, but settled for others), and friend listed everything that was going through my mind (without me having told her), and finished up with "and she doesn't hate you... she just knows that you are anxious, so she cries more and its a knock on effect".

Just knowing that it must all be normal as she knew all my feelings without my telling her made me feel so much happier.

(Oh, the glass of wine in my hand may have helped too, so "Your baby doens't hate you" and "Drink wine" )

marthamoo · 02/01/2006 10:26

A friend bought me a book of quotes on motherhood and one of them, by Christina Stead, is..

'A mother! What are we worth really? They all grow up whether you look after them or not.'

ZAPHODerChristmas · 02/01/2006 10:30

Nurse at Drs. practice told me a more accurate (than using your hand) way to check if a child/baby has a temperature is to place your lips against their forehead, if it is hot to your lips then child is running a fever.

compo · 02/01/2006 10:31

let the baby settle itself not sleep on you all the time when newborn

Original poster
daisiesinaline · 02/01/2006 10:32

LOL at 'your baby doesn't hate you'. I remember feeling that! Thats a good one.

OP posts:
Blandmum · 02/01/2006 10:32

'This child is joining your family, it has rights and so do you'

Original poster
daisiesinaline · 02/01/2006 10:33

Oooo good one Zaph. Will remember that.

OP posts:
saadia · 02/01/2006 10:33

Try not to get angry (difficult I know sometimes), but they are totally innocent.

marthamoo · 02/01/2006 10:36

When I was in hospital after having ds1 they told me to always change his nappy before a feed. He'd be screaming with hunger while I changed his nappy, I would start feeding, and invariably he would fill his nappy and I'd have to change it again.

So that was cr@p advice. Mine would be "Don't change nappies until after a feed!"

TinyGang · 02/01/2006 10:48

It's the only thing you'll ever do that requires a phd earned in two days flat on the subject. Learning curve is steep and swift.

Snowsuits are ridiculous things.

Try to familiarise yourself with all the equipment before you have the baby. (Midwife had to help us with the carseat on leaving hospital with the first)

Understand that it's pointless trying to be anywhere before 1pm with the first one.

Laugh about it all when you have more and wonder what all the fuss was about.

Toothyboy · 02/01/2006 16:57

When he's buying a pint in the pub on his 18th birthday, will it matter that:

once when he was 4 months old you left him in a wet nappy for a bit too long;
he started crawling 3 weeks after another baby the same age;
he didn't get any teeth til he was 9 months old;
etc etc!

omega2 · 02/01/2006 17:32

Enjoy your children as they are precious and time is short

Housework will always be there

harpsichordcarrier · 02/01/2006 17:35

the baby will cry A LOT
don't worry you are not doing anything wrong
babies just cry a LOT
I mean more than you could ever imagine...

(from my mother just before dd1 was born)

flutterbee · 02/01/2006 17:41

My Mum told me --- "Women have been having babies since time began do you really think they would still be having them now if it was that difficult or painful"

This got me through the end of my pg without a worry of the birth and always makes me smile when DS is having a screaming fit.

A few more I like are ---

"Don't panic about anything the baby police say to you, you and DH will be the only experts in the world on your baby " (baby police medical/health staff)

To me and DH ---

"Look after each other and put each other first because when the children have left home and grown up it will just be the two of you again"

My Mum just a font of knowledge, I guess that's what having 7 kids does for you.

rummum · 02/01/2006 18:05

I was told that I would get lots of advice from lots of people and to nod and smile, I did. The good advice I stored away for future use and the rest I forgot.(I worked in a hairdressers at the time, and got more advice than the average person)

one bit of advice I remember was to buy lots of teats before the baby was born.. I did this and because daughter didn't exactly have a new born suck we were able to find a teat amongst the ones I had brought that suited her and she didn't get too windy or colicy

crazydazy · 02/01/2006 18:16

"No-one knows whats best for your kids more than you"

edam · 02/01/2006 18:22

'Don't forget you and your baby are learning how to do this thing together. Your baby hasn't read the books. You'll both work it out, somehow.'

mojomummy · 02/01/2006 18:22

routine & a dummy for daytime naps

hunkermunker · 02/01/2006 18:24

It's just a phase - in a couple of weeks, he'll have stopped doing whatever it is you're worrying about now (and be doing a whole new thing ).

harpsichordcarrier · 02/01/2006 18:39

hunker my mum always says EITHER
oh that's completely normal!
OR
it's just a phase!
sometimes both...
then she tells you about another child who did the same thing only worse and grew upt o be wellbalanced and charming and chairman of IBM
or something