I would like to know why it is that we are so different today...

[UCM]

from mums in the 50's & 60's. Apart from the obvious timesavers like washing machines/dishwashers/cleaners etc.

I was talking to some older women recently and they never ran around like headless chickens over their kids, whom have all done remarkably well.They used to leave them playing in the dirt whilst they carried out the ardous task of housework. And in winter, the children, played with wooden spoons & saucepans. They didn't worry whether their kids were 'learning the 100 words' etc and to my knowledge none of the children have grown up to be AHDD/Depressed/stressed. It simply didn't exist in their worlds.

do you think we are going wrong (I speak as a mum who worries about every stage of development)? adn sort of got told off for doing so, yet I don't think I am over the top?

My MIL told me that dh wasn't toilet trained until he was 3 (deep joy - I am not alone) because toilet training and a busy vicarage were mutually exclusive. She did seem to spend a great deal of time explaining things, taking him away for trips etc. This was the 60s. She did do the put at the bottom of the garden thing a lot too though.

I am giving ds a 1960s diet, and 21st century attention and development. I love being in his company and genuinely enjoy accompaning him to his activities. I have a cleaner to free me up to do more "fun" housework with ds - folding up towels, baking, weeding. I have started throwing him out of the house in the morning to get some fresh air and amuse himself.

I think there were benefits to being a 1960s baby, but I'm not sure that never going out and doing loads of housework would have suited me.

I suppose a lot of mums would have known their neighbours better then, and had more family nearby, so perhaps they felt less need to go out and meet other mums at organised activities.

e.g. my MIL has always lived with a mile or two of all her relatives and in-laws, and her mum used to come round every afternoon during the week for years when dp and his siblings were kids (which would drive me mental tbh, but at least she wasn't alone).

My mum, on the other hand, moved around a lot before she had us and was pretty isolated when we were tiny. She had PND after my sister was born, and didn't get the help she might have had now .

haven't read the thread but I would like to say that I take my mother's example of parenting as a shining example - hands off....
I must say that I LOVE being a SAHM, don't feel pressured and stressed about it.

don;t like to admit it too often because it so goes against the grain

My mum used to socialise quite a bit in the 60s and 70s. I used to find that if I was really really quiet they'd forget I was there and the conversation would get more juicy! She didn't have any family around, but the neighbours were all friendly and the children could wander in and out of everyone's house at will.

I think it was easier then TBH. I walked to school by myself from the age of 7, and took myself off to ballet class after school. Once I was 10 I was catching a bus to ballet in the evening, in the dark. We also walked alone to brownies/guides and piano lessons. In the summer we played out.

With my kids I've always had to drive them to school because the nearest school to our first house was crap and the second wouldn't take them. I have to turn out again to drive them to ballet or wherever, and never seem to have 5 minutes to myself. I have to work full-time to pay the bills and the mortgage, while my mum had a part-time job with children that gave her "pocket money". In many respects we've gone backwards.