Do you eat together?

[bobsmum]

Ds is 13 months and I would really like to start eating together as a family. It just seems a nice thing to do together, rather than having ds sitting alone in his high chair while I just watch him munch.

Dh comes home from work around 5:30 pm ish, sees ds for a bit of playing around, then it's bathtime, milk and bed for 7pm ish - ds is knackered by this time - so it's all systems go. At the moment ds has his tea at 5pm. Dh and I eat after ds is in bed.

How do you time things? In order to get bedtime running smoothly, ds' bath is at 6pm. Do any of you actually have "dinner on the table" when your partner gets in? How do working mums do it? When do you start preparing an evening meal if you want to actually cook a proper meal for everyone?

How nice! If I were you, I'd take advantage of the situation and all eat together early - since it is a good time for DS to eat (or 'have his tea'- as you all call it ). I can tell that DD really enjoys it when we all eat together, and she seems to eat more, for what it's worth.

bobsmum are you sure you shouldn't be posting on the "threads I wish I could start" thread? Who does he work for, Mother Teresa? (whoops she's dead sorry)

Actually re-reading it here - it does sound a little unreal. It's just a very well known hotel chain. Very nice hotel realted perks of the job too.

That's related perks.

I'm really envious... my dh has been trying to get a job nearer to home as he hardly gets to see the children by the time he gets home willing to take a cut even turned down 2 jobs where he would end up with big bucks but less time with the children. Eating together only happens at weekends. Dh has to eat alone when he gets in.

DD is 18 months old.

During the week DD has her tea either at nursery (at 3:30pm!) or at home on my days off at about 4:30-5pm. DD gets in at about 6pm and we then all sit down together for dinner between 6:30 and 7pm. DD will sit at the table with us and often has a small supper-like snack, or some of our food. We also try to make sure the TV is off at this time too. DD's bath is then at about 7:15, follwed by a story and bedtime between 7:30 and 8pm.

At weekends it is more adhoc and can be anytime, anywhere.

I only normally cook a meal properly on my 2 days off. Rest of time it is pasta, something frozen (possibly homemade, sometimes prepacked), or a meal with pre-prepared veggies and mash, or jacket potatoes. So meals only usually take about 30 minutes or so when I am working. TBH, not much better on my days off

I do have my moments though and will invite people round for a meal meal and do the full 3 course works - have to have DD out of the way then though!

We always have breakfast , lunch and dinner together at w/e. In the week, Me & the boys have breakfast & lunch together.
The evening meal is more tricky. If dh is home at a reasonable time, we'll eat together, even if it's a bit late & I'll give them a snack to tide them over if nec. If dh is going to be in too late, I'll try & at least give the boys a snack/cup of hot chocolate & a couple of biscuits or something, so we're still sitting eating together. The only time we don't is if dh is miles too late/ not home at all.

regarding the cooking, that is my biggest prob, esp now I'm so pg & tired by the end of the day.I'm thinking of getting a slow cooker to get round the prob - does anyone else have one? Maybe I'll start a thread on this?

I think the best thing about eating together is creating your own individual family rituals about food. Which days you slob and can read/watch TV while you eat (Thursday evening for us - when the local paper gets pushed through the door!), whether you wait until everyone has finished or ask to get down from the table, whether you have to eat everything on your plate or just try everything, etc.

One of my favourite little rituals was to go out on a Sunday lunchtime (ish - 11.30) and have a fried breakfast at our local starburger express. It was a ritual we'd started pre-ds and resurrected once ds was able to feed himself more or less and was over the critical "no salt" 1 year.

They were really good with kids there and always gave us a big welcome. Ds felt a bit more "grownup", would behave well and enjoyed his Sunday treat of sausages, beans and star potatoes. We had a chance to relax somewhere they didn't mind to toddler eating mess and no washing up!

Okay, so it wasn't the healthiest food in the world, but I am 100% convinced it did us as a family loads of good! Unfortunately, we haven't found anywhere similar here in Worcester that serves a good brekkie at a reasonable price. I miss that.

Monkey - I have a slow cooker and love it, although I admit to not using it nearly often enough (mainly through lack of discipline hunting out the good recipes). Top tip - make sure the pot bit lifts out and fits in the dishwasher! Even if you don't have a dishwasher, it's a pain trying to wash it while keeping the electric flex out of the dishwater...

Another nice feature on mine (although I haven't seen it in the newer models) is that the pot is stove-proof, so you can do all the browning in the same pot without having to lift it out of a frying pan.

Hahaha - one of my fav topics - We always have all our meals with our 2 kids ( 3 1/2 and 2) - we make the odd exception some evenings.

The reason we do this :

• teaches the children how to interact at meal time (ask for more for example, wait until we are all served to start)
• teaches the kids to eat properly
• shows that a meal is a social event - makes it 'special' - my kids really look forward our meals
• simpler : cook once and all the same for everyone - my kids eat everything and if for any reason they want to be fussy... then that's all there easy. They never leave the table hungry
• no TV but family talks at the table

All these thinsg are very easy to do and it's one of those things where we hardly ever have arguments about.

And the kids often prepare some of the dinner with us (if they want to - not always the case)

In the evening we eat at 17:30 (sometimes 18:00 and they go to bed at 1900 LATEST (we don't do baths everyday)

oh and I forgot... they also learn to bring their plates to the dishwasher when finished ... and they set the table - half the time

thanks for those tips, GeorginaA. These things I'd never have thought of..

If Dh is working nights I eat with dd at 6pm or there abouts depending on what day it is, what time I've finished work, if she's had an activity after school etc.

If Dh is off in the evening DD Eats at 6pm then goes to bed and Dh and I eat together about 8.30pm.

We don't have a table so we couldn't all sit at the table although dd has her own little table that she sits at to eat her meals. We've taken her out to restaurants since she was little so she knows how to behave in public whilst sitting at a table with other people and often goes to school dinners so eats with other children there which I'm sure is a big help in eating socially.

I would love to have a table and have us all sit down together and eat a proper meal and chat but we don't have space for one and with Dh's odd hours it wouldn't happen very often. Shame really

Eating together is an important family time for us - it was something I never did as a child because of my parents working hours, and when I went to lodge with another family (aged 16) I thought 'this is really nice, it helps everything gel and brings everyone together'.

In practice its not always easy, but will get easier after tommorrow (last day at work - yippeee). We've used slow cookers and oven timers etc a lot, timed them so that jacket spuds etc were ready when we got home, then just had to mix a salad. On work nights we eat a lot of pasta/cous cous, etc - quick and easy really. I make a huge lasagne/veggie crumble or something similar once in the week, theres normally enough for two meals for all of us. I always try to make extra but never seem to get very much into the freezer. DP cooks at weekends, (at least thats how its meant to be...). On the days when we are going out or planning a special meal later we normally invite one of DD's friends over for tea (nothing special - sausage and mash or similar) then the next week her friends parents will have her. Everyones happy that way, and DD eats.
TBH she plays up if she is eating alone, looks for attention by 'dropping things' or suddenly needing another drink or something else. If we're all tucking in, she just gets on with it. I would rather eat later too, as someone points out, but that will come with time, and the bonus of eating with them is thatthe washing up etc all gets done before bedtime (admittedly with lots of splashing) so after bedtime its MY time!