Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

18 month old refuses to sit on the potty

47 replies

LJJ · 08/11/2005 16:02

Hi,
A few weeks ago I bought a couple of potties for our 18 month old, who seems to enjoy watching us on the loo (!) and even gets some toilet paper to wipe herself with! She sits her dolly on the potties and says "poo poo" (so she knows what they are for) but every time we suggest she sits on it herself, she refuses. The more we suggest it the more stubborn she gets. I don't want to forcibly put her on the potty, and I don't want this to become a fight - does anyone have any tips on what to do before she loses interest altogether? She has started saying "poo poo" although if you ask her has she done a poo, she'll say no because that usually means I'm going to interrupt her from her play....
Help please!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Twiglett · 12/11/2005 10:07

too young put them away for 6 months to a year

mrspf · 12/11/2005 10:34

I have read a lot of discussions about 'waiting until they are ready', but I have to say that early potty training 'a la baby whisperer' is really working for us. DD is 10.5 months old and we've been training for 2 weeks and she does all her poos in the potty, and most of her wees too. The key to it is timing- we sit her on after drinks/meals and after naps which is when she tends to go. The BW recommends the best time to start is 9-14 months, and then 15-23 months so I would urge other mums who are keen to start not to be put off, otherwise you may find that you will have to wait until after the 'terrible twos' to make any progress.

I must admit when we first tried DD on the potty at 9 months she cried and wouldn?t stay. So we didn?t push it and just left the potty in the bathroom so she got more familiar with it, and she became curious about the toilet too. So we tried again. By reading to her and singing, she was happier to sit on it, but once she relaxed and got praise for doing no 1s and no 2s, she knew exactly what it was for, even though she had shown no signs of readiness. I really recommend the BW book ?BW solves all your problems? as it gives some useful tips for potty training at various ages.

Twiglett · 12/11/2005 10:39

what on earth is the point in training a baby by time?

No, I'm serious here .. they can't get there own clothes on and off .. so why time them to sit on a potty?

Sounds like a hell of a lot of work for no benefit to me (apart from making your parent's generation happy because that's what they did)

wait until they're ready around 2 or 3 and you have a few days to a week and you're done, barring a few accidents

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Twiglett · 12/11/2005 10:39

arrggghhh .. that should of course say...

they can't get there on their own nor get their own clothes off

mrspf · 12/11/2005 10:45

Why not invest the same effort and time in preparing your baby for a key bodily skill such as using a toilet, as you would for any other, such as eating solid food, learning to talk, walking etc. Just because they can't take their own clothes off doesn't mean they should have to sit in their own urine and faeces.

Twiglett · 12/11/2005 13:48

um .. because its not such a big deal

HRHQoQ · 12/11/2005 13:53

"The key to it is timing- we sit her on after drinks/meals and after naps which is when she tends to go. "

So really the child ishn't learning anything -it's just the parents knowing when they go - and at what time to put them on the potty!

If you didn't put her on it - would she tell you she needed to go? - would she toddle off and sit on it herself?? No - well she's not ready then!

HRHQoQ · 12/11/2005 13:55

" Just because they can't take their own clothes off doesn't mean they should have to sit in their own urine and faeces."

You here that ladies - all you pg mums reading this - put "potty" on the essential list of things to buy - you wouldn't want your precious little newborn lying in that nasty sticky black poo they do when they're first born do you

sweetkitty · 12/11/2005 13:56

Someone told me babies don't have control of their nerves in that area until at least 2 therefore potty training is pointless.

However, in other countries they do do that elimation training thing or whatever it's called from birth don't they?

mrspf · 12/11/2005 14:44

Hi Sweetkitty,

I agree that they obviously do have some control, as my DD will wait until she is on the potty and the second she sits down, she releases her wee, and within a minute, she'll have started pushing a poo out if she wants one.

I did wonder whether 10 months is too early, but as I've found the baby whisperer has good advice in other areas such as independent sleep and EASY routine, we decided to follow her advice, and were amazed how quickly she's learning. It is all about conditioning at this age- just making an association between the potty and elimination, and giving them the opportunity to go when they are most likely to need to go.

mrspf · 12/11/2005 15:15

To HRHQoQ,

I apologise if my urine and faeces comment was a bit OTT.

What I should have said was that you shouldn't wait until they can undress themselves to start toilet training, just like you wouldn't wait to give them solid food until they could hold the spoon themselves.

Going again on the advice of the BW who sadly is no longer with us, babies gain control of their sphincter muscles at around age 1, so as we start giving solid food when their digestive system is ready, then there is no reason to delay toilet training, especially to an age when they are asserting their independence.

sweetkitty · 12/11/2005 16:13

Maybe it's a getting a nappy off type of thing because the minute my DD get her nappy off she runs away and does a wee!

She's nearly 16 mo now so I though after Christmas I would buy a potty for her to have a go on but knowing her it will be on her head in 30 secs flat.

pfer · 12/11/2005 16:31

Maybe DD is still too young. Just leave the potty out where she can see it and get to it is she wants. She'll do it when she's ready.

mrspf · 12/11/2005 17:51

I would agree not to force the issue. Maybe leave the potty out, or possibly buy some books on toilet training which you can read together, and continue to let her watch you on the toilet.

I would leave it for 2 weeks, and try again, and so on. Maybe buy her some special books or toys that she can play with when she's on the potty and not at other times.

Good luck.

SANanny · 13/11/2005 06:54

Hi
I just found a website - www.pottywhisperer.com Stealing the BW name Gives the background to early potty teaching. Thought it might interest some not to start a mud slinging match or a war.

auntymandy · 13/11/2005 07:55

my DS is 3 at christmas and is still in nappies. Not sure he will ever be out of them..hey ho!

Twiglett · 13/11/2005 07:58

mrspf .. I am a loss to understand how 'babies getting control of their sphincter muscles around 1" determines that they are now ready to toilet train.

To me toilet training is a development stage that involves understanding of bodily symptoms, dexterity , effort and desire.

I know it is perfectly feasible to toilet 'time' an infant but I really do believe that it is actually not possible to 'train' them until they are good and ready ... some babies will be ready much earlier if adequate time and effort is put in (difficult if there are other children around I am sure), and I am sure yours is a prime example of that.

In Switzerland they don't ever toilet train at all .. children do it when they're ready .. it is not uncommon for this to happen with no fuss at all around the ages of 4 or 5, for us in Britain this also seems untenable.

PS I'm really glad you pulled the emotiveness of your posts back so that we could have a discussion rather than an argument

auntymandy · 13/11/2005 08:06

my elder 3 did it them selves at around 2 to 2 and a half.
I have no hang ups and am sure ds will do it whenhe is ready. Maybe when DS4 decides to!!!

frannyandzooey · 13/11/2005 08:44

I really don't get why anyone would want to faff around with potties at such a young age. When people used to have to boil all their nappies in a big pot on the stove, I can understand wanting to 'catch' poos, but we have washing machines and disposables now.

I didn't 'teach' my son to walk or talk, he picked it up from watching others around him, and I'm not intending to teach him to control his bladder or bowels either. He'll soon tell me when he's ready.

Hulababy · 13/11/2005 08:51

I agree - by sounds of it, too early. Leave potty around by all means but leave it entirely to her.

Potty training wil take much less time if you follow your child's lead. IMO potty training isn't something that should require that much effort on your part. Not at such a young age. DD was 24 months and she was completely dry by day 3.

Hattie05 · 13/11/2005 08:54

My advise would be to leave the potty around, because your dd is 'interested' in it. Offer for her to sit on it whenever you go to the toilet and before her bath time.
But don't make a big deal, if she doesn't want to then fine. And don't have any expectations, the aim here is that one day she may accidently do a wee in the potty, you will praise her and so then she will understand what is meant to go in there.
Don't ever make a decision to 'start' training. Let your dd decide.

I did the above with my dd and just before she turned two she started asking for her nappy off some days. So i'd agree and she would use the potty. Other days she would want her nappy on and that too was fine by me.
Within a few weeks she was totally in knickers with very few accidents.

For some children the desire to wear knickers may come later, but the only way they will realise its a possibility is if they are given opportunity.

HTH!

Yorkiegirl · 13/11/2005 09:25

Message withdrawn

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread