What do your dh/dp's do with the children?

[Earlybird]

Just spent the morning with a pal who is upset. Her husband works very long hours, and barely sees the kids during the week. According to her, he feels a bit "out of it" on weekends as he doesn't quite know how to fit into the established family routine that carries on largely without him during the week. At the moment, he's opting out, sitting on the sidelines, and complaining loudly/bitterly to her.

I suggested to her that perhaps he might want to set up a few routine "Daddy" things that he does with the children on weekends so that he has a defined "role" and "purpose" within the family other than provider/breadwinner.

What sorts of things do your partners/husbands regularly do with the children - both chores and play? Any other suggestions for her? BTW - they have 3 children under the age of 6.

My DH and DD-4 and DS-2 make packet cake/cookie mixes every weekend morning. They all love it, and although the kitchen is trashed they have such a good time so I don't really mind. They don't even eat them really so I don't get too fussed about all the sugar at, although I think there is lots of bowl-licking

They also play scalectrix (sp?), which I refuse to have anything to do with, and go on trips to the zoo, aquarium etc

He sees the children for about half an hour each evening and reads their bedtime story.

Swimming is a very good Daddy thing (also means that dh/dps get a sense of life at home when they have to get a couple of wet, excited kids in and out of the changing rooms). My dh also takes ds1 shopping, makes bread in the breadmaker with ds1 and dd, and astounded me the other day by making a papier mache island with them copied form on of those art attack magazines. He did have the cricket on the telly during the whole thing tho, obviously.

Thanks for these suggestions. Any others?

My dh is brilliant. He often reads to ds1, both our children go in the bath with him (when he's here) - they are 21 months and 10 weeks. He takes ds to the shop to get the paper on the weekend on his trike and does the Sainsbury's run with him every week. Weekends are designated family time so we go out together to the common etc and go for a walk in the woods. If I need to breastfeed dd he will take ds off for a walk while I sit in the cafe with her. Swimming seems to be a common theme as he's planning to take ds swimming with his grandad on Sunday mornings when he's a bit older. He's also taken him to soft play on his own before now (just so long as it isn't a 'class' he's fine!) It is easy for them to be involved, they just have to try! None of it is rocket science after all....

Dh takes over from me comletely when he gets home from work.
He also has ds for the whole day at weekend when i work and so does every thing for ds.
I carefully established a routine so both know what to do at any one time. (bit loser now he is 2)
DH does NO housework at all in this time. I have requested that he wash pots and put dirty washing in wash basket and tidy up in general.
I hate coming home to a tip after a 14 hour shift.
I consider that ds is well cared for and has fun with one to one attention from his daddy therefor it doesnt matter so much.
This is how it has always been though so i havent had to establish any thing as such.
I think your suggestion of "daddy things" is a very good one.