Is it ever OK to have a dog in the same house as a small child ?

[invision]

I constantly read about attacks that leave babies & toddlers scarred for life or worse.

Why would anyone risk their childs wellbeing like that ?

And btw am sneaking onto MN at work so haven't read the whole thread (runs away and hides just in case I've missed the point!)

Eh? Dog and child in the house at the same time? Have you gorn mad?

OP you said "So you all agree then, owning a dog when you have a baby/toddler is perfectly OK and in no way endangers the child.

Just want to be clear on this."

Why?? Why do you need to be clear on this? Do you have a dog and a child? If so, only you are in a position to judge how well you have done your job as a dog owner in training that dog.

Or are you just trying to be controversial? If so, why? Are you ever so very concerned about all of those of us with dogs and children in the same house? If so, well lovely, but I would suggest that most don't need or want your concern.

Anyway, if you hurry off now, you will probably catch Jeremy Vile on TV - he likes a bit of an arguement, so you might enjoy watching that.

But to answer the OP - "Is it ever OK..."

Yes. It is.

Invision I think the problem is that generally people come on here looking for advice or reassurance, not to pass judgement on each other's choices. Calling all parents who own a dog and have children selfish and irresponsible isn't really opening up to a genuine discussion on parenting (which is where you have posted).

If you just want a bit of debate, best to head off to AIBU and frame your post in that way. From your post title it looked as though you were genuinely interested in advice on parenting with dogs in the house. Clearly, you're not, but surely you must see that the tone of your posts is offensive when several of the posters are saying that they do have children and dogs in the same house.

A little tact may be called for.

I fully agree with posters who say that children should be taught to not poke the dog, bother him/her in their (the dog's) safe place.

However

Small children forget things, are naughty, they have friend over who dont necessarily know the house rules. If the dog bites, the child has just received a very harsh and possibly permanent punishment for being a child and doing childish things.

LoL @ tact.

Normally I would agree 100% with you, but if you read the thread you'll see I was treated with anything but.

I can't help it if I see it as a black and white case with no upside and a potentially huge downside.

How could anyone live with themselves if everyday you had to look at your childs mutilated face. It only take 1 second.

Gnome I make sure they remember. If I catch them near the dogs beds it's me they need to worry about not the dogs.

When friends are round I keep the dogs in the same room as me.

No never.

Dog or children not both

But invision I don't understand why you are posting? If you know the answer to your own question then what is the point in asking it?

Do you honestly think that anybody is going to read your posts, think to themselves "oh god I didn't realise how selfish I was being, I must get rid of the dog right now"? You're just evangelising about your point of view, and not even sharing your own experiences in a helpful way as some others have done in support of you on this thread.

Then again, how could you live with yourself if you took dd out for a totally unnecessary trip in the car (say, to go to softplay) and there was an accident? You couldn't get away with claiming that it was unavoidable or necessary- because softplay isn't, any more than having a dog.

The greatest danger ds has ever been in was when he was newborn and his older sister took exception to him- there could easily have been an accident with longterm consequences; she certainly tried hard enough to do away with him. Would I ever have forgiven myself for my irresponsible decision to have more than one child?

Most of us do at one time or another take potentially risky decisions for things that are not strictly necessary, because we see these things as life-enhancing.

This is why we cross the road to go to the library with our toddlers though it would obviously be safer to stay on the same side- and books are not necessary. This is why parents allow their children to take riding lessons or learn a bike or go toboganning, though there is absolutely no doubt that children are killed doing these things every year, and obviously nobody has to be able to ride a bike. This is why we have several children though children can and frequently do hurt each other, sometimes seriously.

In the same way, many parents feel that growing up with animals is life-enhancing. I certainly feel proximity to our neighbour's dog was one of the great positives of my own childhood. For many people are at least as life-enhancing as library books or soft-play or being able to ride a bike.

How could we ever live with ourselves if anything happened? Well, the truth is we all take that risk, one way or another.

Op, we all have bad days but when it comes to the safety of my children I NEVER let my guard down. And like I said earlier at times that means putting the dog outside for an hour or so.

TBH OP I think this thread says more about your ability to be a responsible parent and/or dog owner. Clearly you don't feel you have what it takes. The rest of us feel that we do.

....And my children and their friends can play safely

not sure I understand that last post Op,?

How weird. How is having a car 'unavoidable' (my family seem to have avoided it) yet continuing to own a much-loved pet 'avoidable'? Hot drinks aren't essential either, but if you're a tea-drinker you're unlikely to give up tea on risk grounds when you become a parent. Why is it any more reasonable to give up a dog? (And do what with it? Put it down?!)

I have a Staffordshire Bull Terrier with 2 young children, we got her when the youngest was 18 months old.

She enriches my Dc's lives, they adore her, I grew up having dogs as family pets, to me a dog is an important part of a family unit.

I am 34 years old and have been around dogs my entire life, I have never been bitten, the 'risk' then surely not that high?

I have been bitten by another child as has my Dd.

I make sure my Dc's are never left unattended with the dog, she has her bed in the kitchen, we have a gate on the door.
Its no massive hassle to shut a stairgate.

We weigh up risks V's benefits for our Dc's every day, IMO there are far more risky things that our DC come across everyday of their lives than sharing their home with a pet dog.

So go find something to do, you're obviously bored.

op you are clearly incapable of debating the issue.

Lots of posters here have given alternative senarios that are far more dangerous to children than dogs. And yet you are not advocating that everyone who has a child should give up hot drinks/their cars/never go swimming/play at the park/cross roads/let them ride bikes/have sharp knives in the house... shall I go on?

I have a cousin who was severely scalded when as a toddler he pulled a cup of hot coffee over himself. You could not believe the damage a cup of coffee could do - he spent three months in hospital, has been scarred for life, the treatment given to him (spray to cover burns) made him partially deaf. And all from a cup of coffee.

At school I had a friend who fell off his bike and hit his head on the pavement. He suffered a brain haemorrhage that night and died.

The son of friends of my parents was killed in a car accident.

A friend of my sister's was killed in a motorcycle accident - actually he spent six months in a coma before he died.

I could go on.

I only know of one person who was so badly bitten by a dog that she will have been scarred for life. But the dog was not the family pet - it belonged to friends of the family.

The truth is that you cannot guard against all senarios. Even if you chose not to have your own family dog, there will always be other people that have dogs you will come into contact with.

If you chose not to have a car you couldn't live without crossing roads.

And so the list goes on.

We cannot protect our children from all potential senarios, that would frankly be damaging to their welfare also.

My son's friends come to mine and play perfectly safely, thank you, Invasion. In addition to my son learning how to treat dogs I am able to teach my son's friends, whose families do not have dogs, how to treat my dog. I always teach them that all dogs are different, but the basis is respect.

Even the ones that were initially terrified of dogs have come to be not frightened of mine so I no longer have to keep her segregated - just wherever I am.

By being around her, my son's friends learn valuable life lessons. They know not to run around her and scream and shove biscuits in her face and then take them away quickly in fear and know how to greet her properly and not to pat her on the head, amongst many other things. Hopefully they will eventually take these lessons with them for when they meet other dogs.

You must instil a real fear of dogs in your own child/ren, which is sad.

Lol! Of course it's safe to have dogs and children under the same roof! You just have to make sure that the children are properly trained.

A child's life is greatly enriched by a canine companion.

I think having a dog and children is essential!

I am such an irresposible parent. I have a car. I drive my dds to activities along the country's 3rd most dangerous road 4 times a week. I have a dog. (at the moment I have 2 in fact as am looking after a friend's. and by the weekend it will be 3. all BIG). I drink tea. in fact, now I come to think if it, my daughters drink tea. and hot chocolate. I also let dd walk to the shops on her own. and walk the dog in the dark. and (you'll love this invision) dds go bouldering (climbing without ropes).

I do all these things because - like lots of people on here - I understand risk and how to balance it against benefits and make proportionate - and, largely consistent, decisions.

Hatwoman! You LUNATIC

I'm a cat person. I think some people don't know how to train their dogs and end up with dangerous animals as a result. I still don't see any problem with a young family having a pet dog. In fact, I'd quite like one! They'd need to be cat-safe though :)