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Parenting

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Original poster

I'm letting my son bunk off a cross country run - what would you have done?

55 replies

tigermoth · 10/10/2005 08:13

My 11 year old son's class has a 50 minute cross country run to do on Tuesday morning. His form teacher says they must run it, not walk it, no messing around.

My son is dreading it. He is not a runner. He is already finding it difficult to run to his lessons, getting there in time, though he has just about managed to avoid a detention. He says this is the hardest thing about his new secondary school. He is already getting a name for being a slow coach.

Dh and I do not want to put him through the humiliation of the cross country run. DS has plenty of exercise as he is cricket mad. He plays cricket every lunchtime at school and this weekend (as usual) he spent an hour each day at the cricket nets. It really is his sport. Running is not.

I have fond memories of my mother letting me miss the odd cookery lesson, as I hated them and got teased for being so impractical. It really made a difference to my settling in at big school.

So, dh and I are doing the same for our son, and have told him we will send in a note to say he has a doctor's appointment on the morning of the run. Apparently the run is not an occasional, not weekly event.

Just wondered what people feel about this decision? don't mind if you disagree with me, just interested to know the consensus of opinion here.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

batters · 10/10/2005 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hocuspocusdiplodocus · 10/10/2005 10:41

Oh dear, I think I'm going to go against the general mood here, but I don't think I would be very keen to write a note like this.

I am very unsporty (the sort of girl who was always picked last for rounders etc.) and I remember absolutely dreading the first cross-country run when I started at secondary school, but I did it and it wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't come first, but I didn't come last either and I actually vaguely enjoyed it. And then I'd conquered the fear factor and I didn't have to worry about the next one, or the one after that.

I hate to sound old-fashioned, but isn't life all about doing things that we don't want to? Which reminds me, got a big pile of WORK here that I must start

hocuspocusdiplodocus · 10/10/2005 10:42

p.s. it's dinosaur, btw

No-one figures out my clever halloween name .

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JoolsToo · 10/10/2005 10:46

Sorry tm - I think its wrong. It's sends out the wrong message - you won't always be there to bail him out of a situation he's not comfortable with, sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and do it. Better to come last and get an 'A' for effort - they won't be expecting a class full of superstars. What will you do next time? Kids will soon cotton on that 'mum' is getting him off the hook and that could end up worse for him.

sorry, just my opinion.

ellceeell · 10/10/2005 10:58

Every term at secondary school dd1 has had to do a cross country run where their times are compared to earlier runs. Some years she wanted to improve her personal best, others she was prepared to jog round at the back with a couple of friends. If they were away on the day of the run they were expected to do it after school. dd1 is delighted that 6th formers do not have to do the run!

hub2dee · 10/10/2005 11:14

How come academic subjects get streamed (top set / more able etc. etc.) but for PE everyone just gets lumped into a pot ?

Of course I hated the subject. And cc runs. YIKES YIKES YIKES. Had massive asthma attack once that duly freaked out the teacher... "why didn'y you tell me, son ?" Yeah, like my parents haven't written in about it before dumbo...

motherinferior · 10/10/2005 11:26

I absolutely loathed and dreaded the annual CC run at school. I regularly came in one of the humiliated last people. Come to that I was absolutely hopeless at all PE at school, frozen red chunky thighs wobbling about under my ludicrously skimpy skirt in the Norfolk winter, ycccccchhhh.

As a result I think of it completely differently from bunking off anything else and I'd let him off. It's too humiliating, PE.

(And I now swim a mile regularly and do pilates and am really quite presentable, I would like to point out.)

expatinscotland · 10/10/2005 11:27

I'd let him bunk off. Life is full of so much we HAVE to do, why do things you totally abhor that are completely unnecessary?

compo · 10/10/2005 11:29

I agree with Dinosaur and Joolstoo. What happens when he has to sit an exam in his least favourite subject and doesn't want to be humilated by getting a poor grade? He has to learn that at school he has to do things he doesn't like.

hub2dee · 10/10/2005 11:35

mi: sad to hear you are now presentable and no longer have chunky thighs under ludicrously skimpy skirt.

compo · 10/10/2005 11:58

Also (sorry been thinking about this!) at my school it was a yearly thing so you can't really excuse him for the next 6 years of whatever it will be. And are you a SAHM? What if there was no one to look after him so he had to go to school whatever day it was iyswim

melissasmummy · 10/10/2005 14:05

I hated srosse country too, couldn't see the point. We didn't have showers either & had to spend the rest of the day feeling horrid & sweaty.

I don't see a problem with letting him miss it, kids get a rough ride at school as it is, why add to it?

ghoulgrrl · 10/10/2005 14:36

I think you're doing the right thing. I too used to hate cross-country running, and to be honest I think it is this sort of thing that turns a lot of people off exercise for life once they leave school. I certainly had a deep aversion to running for years as I remember all those awful cross-country runs.

I think with sports you should only be expected to do the sort of exercise you really enjoy, so that it's something you consider fun and enjoyable, rather than an ordeal.

I really don't think a run can be compared to an exam.

tortoiseshell · 10/10/2005 14:54

Some people can't run. I think cross country runs are pure torture personally, but I think they should be allowed to walk it if necessary - it sounds like if that was an option your ds would be happy to do it tm? Isn't saying you have to run it like saying to a child they have to do calculus, never mind that they can't do addition yet?

Caligula · 10/10/2005 14:54

I wouldn't normally approve, but as long as it's not a regular occurrence and you genuinely think it will help settle him better and he knows that you won't do it again for him, sometimes you do just have to break the rules.

I agree that a cross country run under the tutelage of someone entirely unreasonable, is simply not the same as doing a maths exam. There is no way I would be able to do a 50 minute run without stopping - even when I was reasonably fit last year and running regularly, I would still have to stop after a while and slow down, speed up etc. - the idea of some lunatic behind me telling me I wasn't allowed to do what my body needed to, is rather demented, and I don't really know why we think it's appropriate or reasonable for children. There's a difference between challenging someone to perform the best they can, and frightening them off forever by demanding something impossible from them. And judging by the fact that we're a nation of lardies, it looks like PE lessons have succeeded in doing the latter. I really wish a more intelligent approach to sport and fitness could be taken than this.

madmarchscare · 10/10/2005 15:08

Dont approve, I think he should do it.

Unfortunately we come across things in life that we dont like and fortunately, in the big scheme of things, a cross country run isnt really that bad imo.

I think its time to let him face up to things, he will learn from it and maybe even feel quite pleased with himself.

Time to let him face up to things

madmarchscare · 10/10/2005 15:09

oops, got muddled with me pasting.

pablopatito · 10/10/2005 16:30

"His form teacher says they must run it, not walk it, no messing around."

Hmmn, my teacher always told us that we must run and not walk and not mess around yet we always managed to do a fair bit of walking and messing around regardless. I'm not sure it will be as bad as he thinks it will be.

mandieb2004 · 10/10/2005 16:37

I used to catch the bus half way round the cc (seriously ) let him off .

Tortington · 11/10/2005 01:42

let him off, the worlds not going to end becuase he doesnt bow to sadistic PE teachers will

intergalacticwalrus · 11/10/2005 01:44

We used to huddl;e in the park and smoke, and the tag on half way through.

Tortington · 11/10/2005 02:17

me and rhubarb set off with the first group and came in middling with the second group who set off later - the PE teach forgot and thought we two did unusually well.

Original poster

tigermoth · 11/10/2005 08:02

well, a real rag bag of opinions here! thanks for all your thoughts.

I wish I had the time to talk to my son's teacher about this cross country run, but my son didn't tell me till Friday evening and the run is this morning. That didn't leave much time.

I work full time and do not go to the school daily. I could have phoned up the teacher, I suppose, but wonder if me requesting special treatment for my son would have made matters worse? secondary school is not like primary school, is it? Parents are less present and I don't know his teachers yet. Their reaction could have been anything from a sympathetic nod to a thinly disguised sneer of derision that ds was a mummy's boy. That's why I did not want to write a letter, as I would not be there to gage his teacher's reaction.

I have told ds that this is a one off and the next time there is a cross country run, he must do it. I feel that in a few months, ds1's classmates will know more about him, so being awful at cross country running will not be the only thing they associate him with. At the moment, ds is sticking to the friends he knew in his old primary school. I am hoping that that in a few months he will have made new friends. I know how easy it is to get a reputation, and how much it can stick. I just want to give ds1 a bit more time to settle in.

Also, there are minor health reasons for not doing this run. Ds1 is having an operation next week to remove his tonsils and adenoids, and have grommits fitted. If he got an infection now, the operation would be cancelled (so marina, I can't follow your suggestion!). A 50 minute run would be a strain and a stress for ds1. When he is stressed, he often gets tonsillitus, so even if the risk is minor, it's not worth it, IMO.

Ds's friend's class did the run last week. He told ds the teachers make the children run all the time - round and round the large playing fields in school. Sounds ghastly to me and quite unnecessary. If the teachers allowed the children to walk it, or the run was a 20 minute one, I would have sent ds1 in. DS better be telling me the truth of course! It is something I will be checking out at the next parents meeting.

I don't think this one-off bunk-off is sending out the wrong message to ds1 - simply because it is a one off. After all the years I've spent making him do his homework, he knows I would not let him off a maths exam.

It is really good to see so many opinions on this thread (and on the other one Enid started). I will enjoy lurking on them again today!

OP posts:

batters · 12/10/2005 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwoIfBySea · 12/10/2005 21:56

Well so PE is still about bullying and humiliation. I wish you had been my mum Tiger! I was the slow-coach at school and as a result of the PE teacher consistently humiliating me I did everything to avoid it including faking notes.

Tigermoth I think perhaps you should speak to the teacher but stick up for your son and let the teacher know that you won't tolerate your son being treated like this. And I bet it is the humiliation he is more concerned with rather than having to run. I was turned off sport by PE big style!

(A few of us used to hide in the bushes near the school gates waiting for the first runners to come back then would casually stroll back to the gym! The PE witch would go ballistic - tough!)

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